Cake&Punch AND a registry?

People will want to give you gifts because they are your nearest and dearest and love you. They won't mind that you aren't having a huge, lavish reception. Cake is the best part, anyway

@Melissa, this is a regional and social circle custom in my area. My way of gifting has nothing to do with whether or not your grandma attends your wedding. It might be new to you, but plenty of people do it this way. You also misunderstood my comments. The amount contributed to the reception is EXTRA on top of the gift.

@Michelle. I'm not judging the way you gift and you don't have to agree with the way I do it.

ETA - saw your last comment. No, we absolutely don't expect others to cover their cost. They can gift anyway they want, or not. It's up to the guest how they choose to gift.

Who cares how people gift so long as there is no judgment.

Like I had people who gifted more than my family but it doesn't matter. Everyone gifts what they want and can afford.

I think it's fine. If I were invited to a wedding like this I'd absolutely bring you something off of your registry.

@WED1819, thank you for clarifying. As long as you 'gift' the couple the same & just pad for your meal...I think that is a bit different. But people are still going to talk & a couple may not understand why couple B received more than they did...they won't know it was due to a higher plate 'padding' & hurt feelings can occur.

Note that I do not think gifts/amts should be shared...I think we all know it happens sometimes...

@SamanthaB although the wedding is 2 years away, with all the bills we have to pay each month + how much we make with our part time/minimum wage jobs, we really can't save enough for a venue and all its extras unfortunately. My car payment+insurance alone is almost $800 a month. With my other bills we can barely save anything. We have a small savings account right now, but it definitely isn't enough to afford anything more than a small reception. We are paying for everything ourselves because my parents are not in the picture, and my grandparents (who raised me) certainly cannot afford to contribute, and my FIL can't afford to pitch in either. So it's just going to be me and my fiance footing the bill. If we could afford more we would. I would love the have it at a venue with a nice dancefloor and great food, but I do not want to dig myself into a financial hole for a reception thats only going to last a few hours.

I appreciate all of the supportive responses to my question! I was really nervous about trying to plan a C/P reception and these supportive comments really calmed my nerves. Thank you everyone

No need to explain your financial situation in detail OP. Some people whether they can afford it or not, just choose not to spend a huge amount of money for a party that will last a few hours. In your case, your decision shows maturity on behalf of you and FH for hosting a wedding you can afford and not going into debt. Congratulations and best wishes to you!

Going into a lot of debt for a fancy party is usually not the best foundation for a good marriage. So good for you for putting your marriage over your wedding! Many of your guests will want to get you something, so yes, have a registry. As long as you don't feel like anyone owes you the registry items, and don't get upset if you don't get them, you're good. Cake and punch receptions are not tacky. I should be included in the invitation so that anyone who feels they are above attending a cake and punch reception can simply RSVP 'no', and you've already said it's not a meal time, so no issue there.

I think your friends and family would understand the situation you're in and be totally okay with it! Have the wedding you can afford. People still get fed (even if it's just cake, still food!), and there's something to drink, and you can still have some fun. Perhaps have a BBQ going outside if it's not freezing outside. Or get a George Foreman and do it that way. Cheapish, easy, and I don't know anyone that doesn't like a BBQ except vegans.

Cake and punch reception sounds yummy. It is perfectly acceptable to have a registry. Congratulations and happy planning

How materialistic it is for someone to base their gift on what they get in return.

It doesn't matter what kind of wedding the couple is having. The point is to selflessly give them a generous gift to celebrate their marriage.

First of all, the "cover your plate" business has no basis in etiquette. It does seem like a regional variation, but IMHO it's bullshit.

Your wedding reception sounds lovely. I have one suggestion to make. Instead of putting "cake and punch reception" on the invitation, consider using "light refreshments to follow" instead. It sounds better, at least to me.

For sure, register.

I would not base a gift on what type of reception you are having. But also, I dont buy physical gifts for the wedding itself. I'll buy a physical gift for the shower and give a check for the wedding.

I dont think its against anything or tacky to have a registry for a cake and punch reception. Have the reception you can afford and dont go into debt for a party!

Some of the best cakes I've ever had were from Sam's Club or Bj's!

I feel like one day I come on here and see DOZENS of people saying "If I attended a wedding with no liquor- only beer/wine, I would 100% take my cash/check out of the card" and the next "I would never give a lesser gift at a cake&punch reception, that's so awful."

@SOS I've never seen someone say that they'll take money out of a card for only beer and wine being served...only if it's a cash bar, which is insanely rude and tacky.

My friend did this and they just registered at Target- Nothing extravagant. It was fine.

Go ahead and register. People will buy gifts/give cash.

Honestly though, if I was your guest, I'd feel like you had turned your wedding into a gift grab. You're inviting more people than you can afford to actually *host* with a meal, and your biggest concern is whether it would *look* bad to register.

The reception is your thank you to your guest. You're providing the bare minimum so you can cram in more bodies. That's exactly what it will look like to your guests.

@MelissaHH is my new super hero!

Definitely register. I would also add some of this is so regional which folks on these boards still don't seem to really consider. Until I started going to out-of-state college friends weddings, I'd seen one person have a full seated dinner, cocktail hour type reception. Around here cake and punch in the church hall is pretty much the norm (and likely without alcohol or dancing because of the large concentration of Church of Christ and Baptists). A nice/fancy wedding will serve finger sandwiches or egg rolls or some other kinds of hors d'oeurves and scandalous to have alcohol.

I would totally bring a gift. A cake &a punch reception is still a reception in my eyes.

I think make a small registry without anything outrageously priced & stick to things that are necessities, rather than anything frivolous.