Cake&Punch AND a registry?

Honestly, I think that's completely fine. Since you both work part time and the day is meant for you to share your special day with your soon-to-be spouse and family, your family and friends will likely want to get you something regardless of the wedding/reception size.

Just be prepared to have several folks on this app to tell you what you want is tacky and essentially give you the impression that if you can't afford a lavish reception, then you shouldn't ask for anything on a registry. Ignore them!

I honestly don't know what the ettiquitte would be here, though I'd think a small registry would be fine.

Also, update your avatar and you'll get more replies. :] Eta:Also as long as the cake and punch isn't at a meal time, no one will give you any trouble.

I'll be honest, I would bring you a gift, but it wouldn't be anything on the really expensive side off a registry. So if you want to register for stuff under $50-100 then that's probably all I would spend if I'm not being fed a full meal and provided an adult beverage or two.

ETA: Clarity and Adding: I would still bring you a gift. I just can't inwardly justify giving you what I would normally give as a wedding gift ($250-300 cash) if you aren't feeding me dinner and hopefully some wine. Sorry if that's offensive, or against etiquette, but I have a pretty good idea of what people in my area spend on a full reception.

If it were me, I would even hope that nobody would give me that amount of money for a cake and punch reception, regardless of closeness to the couple. I would feel weird accepting a gift of that cost if I weren't providing at least a meal. However, I don't think it's tacky to have a C&P reception, or to have a registry for it.

It could really be just a regional thing, not sure @Kreestan.

It irks me that people base the "size" of their gift on something like the wedding reception. Maybe it's just me and the weddings I've been to in my southern small town, but that thought has never crossed my mind (I've noticed since being on WW that weddings in my area are MUCH less elegant/formal than other areas). I find a gift that I can afford (or cash for the same amount), whether I was fed a single piece of cake or a steak dinner.

Cake and punch is just fine, as long as it's not at a meal time. And a registry is just a guide for your guests that do want to give you a gift so you don't get duplicates. I don't see it as a problem.

If you do cake and punch please don't do it during a meal time. As a guest I would happily bring a gift to a cake and punch wedding.

We're planning on having the wedding/reception in the early afternoon on a Saturday

I'd bring a gift!! Just make sure to register for a lot of items in a variety of price ranges

Cake and punch is a wonderful reception as long as it's not at a meal time. I think setting up a registry is fine - maybe not everyone will being a gift, but lots of people will want to gift you something to celebrate your marriage!

I say put it on the invite so everyone knows and don't get married/reception during meal time.

Cake and punch I fine at any time !

Just adding...Don't post registry info on invites, SO TACKY. People will ask you if you're registered or they'll give cash.

Cake and punch is perfect as long as it's a 2-3pm ceremony and not at dinner or lunch time.

Definitely have a registry. I always take gifts to cake and punch weddings and I think most people do the same. Just make sure to have a good amount of affordable items on your list.

I don't think it's tacky to have a registry. People will still want to give you gifts even if it's a smaller wedding, though I do second other posters that you should make sure you have a variety of affordable items on the registry, which I'd assume would be the case anyway with BBB. I agree with other posters about being sure not to do the reception over a meal time and it's a good idea to specify that it's cake and punch on the invites. Cake is the best party anyway!

I think its idiotic that some people on here give based on "how much food and wine" they are served..... it is a day to celebrate the new couple. Give with a heart full of happiness, not a stingy one. If I ever heard a guest say they would have given a better gift if there had been food...I would quickly unfriend that person. They are clearly not "friends". A gift is something you GIVE, not something given only if the other party gives as well. Cake and punch is perfectly fine, no need to go in debt so some judgmental pricks are pleased. Rant over.

Not tacky to have both cake and punch reception and registry. Register as you would for any other wedding, with a wide price range of items. People who know you are going to know you're giving the best reception you can afford and not judge. In fact I'd be more inclined to spend more because you need the stuff you're registering for rather than a lot of people (including myself) who are registering for nice-to-haves/upgrades.

No it's not tacky, until about the 1980's cake and punch receptions were the norm. People still registered for gifts, and guests still happily brought gifts. Back then though, the cultural expectation was much more modest and reasonable than today.

@Aurora - agreed, this forum had a handful of people who clearly view weddings as a obligation for the bride and groom to shell out thousands for them to eat amazing food and drink copious amounts of free liquor. If you want to talk tacky, it is tack AF to take away money you intend to give to a couple out of love and use it to buy yourself definitely because getting sloshy is more important to you than your loved ones. It's spiteful and very small minded to approach life in such a title for tat way. But they're all certain they're right, so let them harp on about bad hosting. As long as you provide food and drink (preferably without cost to guests, I'm not a fan of cash bars either) a chair for every butt and a fairly comfortable space, you're just fine.

@Aurora, @MsMac, @Kreestan Do you spend the same on a gift no matter what kind of reception is held or who it's for? That's great if you do, but it's just not something that I've experienced at the weddings I've attended. For context I've been to extremely well hosted receptions at lavish downtown hotels and potluck VFW hall receptions and various kinds in between.

@MsMac, I wouldn't spend it on 'getting sloshy' and 'getting sloshy' is not more important to me than a loved one's wedding. However, considering you should never expect gifts at all, expecting the same gift for that of a fully hosted reception for a cake and punch style reception seems really gift grabby. This goes along the lines of those who are inviting 300+ people to their wedding and only hosting cake and punch and having extensive registries with gifts costing hundreds of dollars or expecting cash, or have honeyfunds. Receptions aren't a way to make money, they are your way of thanking your guests to be there in celebrating your wedding/marriage. In our social circle, we understand that hosting a reception with a meal and presumably an open bar is very expensive, our gift reflects our gratitude for being included. A cake and punch reception is not as expensive, and though I do not doubt that those person(s)) getting married don't need a generous gift as much as someone who spent a lot more on their wedding day does, I would feel like shit giving my loved ones comparably less for spending a lot more when I am giving someone who didn't even serve me a full meal the same amount as them. It does boil down to the level of hosting in some social circles. You're still getting a gift because I would never go empty handed, but don't have the expectation that everyone will give you the same gift as they would for an extremely well hosted reception. Just like I still send a gift to those who invite me to their wedding and I cannot attend, it's not going to be what I would give you had I attended your wedding, but it is still a gift.

Yes you should have a Registry. Your family and friends want to get you things. Your Registry will be used for your wedding shower and maybe a couple people will bring gifts to the wedding. Your wedding gifts maybe smaller if at a church then at another venue. Personally I always try to cover our plates, and it can differ based on location.

Exactly what @MelissaHH said.

I also respect you a lot for understanding your financial limits and not resorting to things like self-catering and honeyfunds to make a "dream" wedding happen.