Asking the Guests to wear Black

Many people think it is a major faux pas to wear black to a wedding. That being said, I was asked to wear black or white to a cocktail wedding. The idea the bride had was to have her flowers and accents in red and have everyone in black or white. I wore a white cocktail dress with a black cigarette jacket. The major drawback in asking other guests to wear white was that there were several ladies who wore long, white "weddingish" dresses. Then there were the "randoms" who showed up in everything from jeans and t-shirts to hooker style prom bombs. Some of the younger people did not get it that "cocktail attire" did not mean you wear something cut up to your crotch. I liked the idea she had and it did not bother me at all.

I would feel more like decorations than an honored guest, if the couple tried to coordinate me with their decor. And if they tried to coordinate me in black, I, too, would feel like I was attending a funeral.

I could really care less how my guests dress, I'm just excited they're coming. I'd like to think the same about weddings I've been to. So yeah, it's rude to ask people to dress a certain way just so you can maintain your vision of "the perfect day".

If, due to location, your guests would be more comfortable wearing flat shoes, or bringing a sweater, that suggestion could be made for their COMFORT. Really if people show up dressed inappropriately, it reflects poorly on them, not you. If your crazy Uncle Jack shows up to your formal affair wearing too-short cut off jean shorts and a t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off, do you really think the rest of the guests will be all "tsk tsk, the bride REALLY should've set a dress code so we don't have to see him dressed like this"? NO! He'll look like the idiot, and you'll look like a rude b.tch for caring more about someone's appearance than their presence at your wedding.

If I got an invitation asking me to wear black...I would be like WTH? Dislike

My mom had everyone wear red to her wedding- everyone was happy to do it and it looked great! Red feels a little more festive than black though.

I don't own any black dresses so it would be an inconvenience if someone told me I had to wear black to their wedding.

This is a great idea, we are doing it for our wedding. It makes pictures look so much better. People do it for these parties, so what’s the difference with a wedding?

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It's rude to tell your guests how to dress, whether at a wedding or at another party.

If I was asked to do this, I’d strongly feel like I was going to a funeral.

You could let people know the wedding colors and request them to wear dark colors. I would have to go buy a dress or something if I was invited because I don’t have a black outfit that fits and if COVID-19 is still presenting the inability to try on clothes (which is vital for someone build like two different people with fat arms), what am I supposed to do? Just not come. I would feel unwelcome if I could wear the dress code, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who would have this dilemma. If you asked for dark colors, you could get a similar aesthetic while allowing people to wear colors they’re comfortable in (I look sickly in black and so do a lot of my friends).

I see nothing wrong with this request from your guest. Long as it is ask early for them to prepare, black is not hard to find.

You cannot ever tell people what to wear. The only time you can is if your venue has a dress code mandate for entry that is Oscar-caliber..which almost none have. Trust adults to dress themselves. They are not props.

View Quoted Comment Right...lol

View Quoted Comment Exactly that’s going to be our request as well. People do all white and black parties all the time.

Oy vey, again??

I think you can do it, as long as you...
1. Word it nicely on the invite. Use words like “request” or “suggest”
2. Be prepared for some people not to follow, and please do not ask them to leave if they don’t wear black 3. The rule is generous enough for most people. I think black fits this fine. Most people have black clothing that they could wear, so I don’t think it’s a ridiculous request. 4. Be prepared for a bit of backlash. People that love you and your Fiancé will wear the colours you requested. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they will be happy about it. Some people may not attend. You will come off as extra, but so what? Goodluck!

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Some people that love you may still not wear black.

I would not wear black. It's not a matter of me loving you, or not. It's a matter of me having very a very pale skin tone, dark brown hair, and not wanting to look like a vampire in photos. I also would not attend in a different color when everyone else was wearing black, so I looked like a rebel and stuck out like a sore thumb. I would be uncomfortable the entire time. I would be politely declining the invite.

I’m praying you actually did this because it’s exactly what I will be doing. And for the people be negative in the comments; if they don’t want to wear black they don’t have to come, that’s less plates to pay for in my opinion. I’m paying a ton of money for people
To enjoy an amazing evening with me and my husband then they can be kind enough to wear what I’m asking them to wear. And it’s black. Every dress comes in black. It’s not a difficult color to find something in.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this sentiment. Unless the venue has a strict dress code that is required for guests to enter the venue, and many do not, it is inappropriate to dictate dress code or ask your guests to wear anything specific. They are not props and a wedding is not a formal awards show. Adults have dressed appropriately for weddings and other social events for decades without assistance or requisites. Be prepared for guests to decline the invitation.