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Kathryn
Master September 2015

Asking the Guests to wear Black

Kathryn, on February 5, 2015 at 10:11 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 90
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I wanted to see what you all thought of this. I am not doing this but was suggested by my venue coordinator.

We were talking about decor and possibly doing everything in shades of white. Then asking the guests to wear black. So there was a high contrast. My Venue coordinator said that she had her guests wear black to her wedding and all 300 guests did it and it looked great.

I have 2 opinions on this

- Asking people to wear black is kinda like asking people to dress up for a themed party and theme is black.

-It is rude to tell people what to wear and you should never ask that of your guests.

Black is a color most everyone has in their closet so it would be easy for most. I think older people would have issues with this. Our BM dresses are black and my grandma told me black is for funerals and that she didn't like my choice.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you think it is rude? Or would it be the same thing as asking someone to dress according to a theme?

90 Comments

  • Maltese
    Master June 2015
    Maltese ·
    • Flag

    You can't tell adults what to wear. In theory it would neat. But not logically

    • Reply
  • #blueeyedbride
    Devoted June 2015
    #blueeyedbride ·
    • Flag

    Same as along to dress according to theme. I have not requested it but most of my guests are matching my colors.

    • Reply
  • Emmy
    Master January 2015
    Emmy ·
    • Flag

    You don't tell guests what to wear, theme or otherwise.

    • Reply
  • Ostrich
    Master April 2016
    Ostrich ·
    • Flag

    The only exception I would see to this, how you MIGHT be able to say it's okay, is if you're having a black tie wedding (think George Clooney status) and even then people could wear whatever color gowns.

    • Reply
  • MrsLacey2b (Kayleigh)
    Super July 2017
    MrsLacey2b (Kayleigh) ·
    • Flag

    Yeah it would be great to coordinate but you shouldnt tell guests what to wear. The way i see it a wedding is not a show, not everythings needs to be matching Smiley smile

    Not only that but you can be sure at least one person wouldnt follow the request and it would just look silly seeing a herd of black and one person in a bright colour, and you in white lol

    • Reply
  • GoneAndMarried
    Master August 2015
    GoneAndMarried ·
    • Flag

    My older relative would just about die if I asked them to wear black, and although I wouldn't do this either, it would make for some awesome pics!

    • Reply
  • Mrs. A & J
    Master December 2014
    Mrs. A & J ·
    • Flag

    Your guests are people. Not photo props. That's how I would see that

    • Reply
  • LadyMonk
    Master September 2014
    LadyMonk ·
    • Flag

    I would start to wonder if I was actually attending a funeral and not a wedding.

    • Reply
  • Janeen
    Master January 2015
    Janeen ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't do it lol. I would be put off by someone telling me what color I need to wear, whether I have the color in my closet or not.

    • Reply
  • Kathryn
    Master September 2015
    Kathryn ·
    • Flag

    Yeah I agree with you all, I was surprised she offered that suggestion to me and that she had actually done it and it was successful.

    • Reply
  • NaShara and Milton
    VIP May 2015
    NaShara and Milton ·
    • Flag

    Great thought but I don't think that's going to be that successful. Can't really tell adults what to wear unless they're in the BP. My grandmother was also turned off by my black and white theme. I told her that it's classic, timeless and elegant. She understands now that she sees the vision coming together. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

    • Reply
  • Jeleebeenz
    VIP September 2015
    Jeleebeenz ·
    • Flag

    I think your venue needs a new coordinator! The BEST pictures are people being themselves and not dressed as props. I think it is a horrid idea and am glad you didn't buy into her tackiness.

    • Reply
  • MrsPope
    Master September 2015
    MrsPope ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't have an issue with it because I LOVE wearing black but I agree you can't tell adults what to wear.

    • Reply
  • kaylarae
    Master April 2015
    kaylarae ·
    • Flag

    Honestly, do it. I went to a wedding like this and NO ONE thought it was rude. There were nearly 500 people there, all in mainly black. It was stubning for their winter wedding. For years people have stated the style of dress for a wedding (black tie, semi formal etc) and that was never an issue. The people you are inviting to your wedding are your friends and family and they love you so they won't have a problem with it. And it's not like you're asking them to do anything crazy, everyone has black in their wardrobe and if they don't they should and this would be an excuse for them to get something!

    • Reply
  • Julia T
    Master August 2015
    Julia T ·
    • Flag

    I personally wouldn't want a whole bunch of people at my wedding wearing black. But if I was a guest and I got that request it wouldn't be a big deal. I don't see a difference between that and a all white party. I haven't been to a wedding like that but I have been to clubs and parties that request you wear a certain color or style of clothes.

    And as always you know how I feel about the magical unicorn box that people can use if they don't like the idea or have a problem with it. ___ Can not attend.

    • Reply
  • ValZtoB
    Master March 2015
    ValZtoB ·
    • Flag

    I guess I don't understand how these types of things have any bearing on the celebration of two people coming together as husband and wife, wife and wife or husband and husband.

    • Reply
  • Nancy Taussig
    August 2020
    Nancy Taussig ·
    • Flag

    One of my brides asked everyone to wear white to her beach wedding (including the groom). Most wore white, some ivory, some tan. She wore a ballgown that looked like a sunset (orange, yellow, hot pink) -- made for beautiful pics.

    • Reply
  • Julia T
    Master August 2015
    Julia T ·
    • Flag

    @Miss to Mrs LMAO that's kind of funny. Don't bring your bad ass kids but please feel free to wear whatever color you want. I wouldn't want to offend you lol

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    August 2020
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    Ugh; I can't believe she suggested this. Guests are not props.

    • Reply
  • Vanessa
    Super March 2015
    Vanessa ·
    • Flag

    I think it would be stunning visually, but I can't imagine being told what color I need to wear. We are having our bridal party wear black so we stand out more, but that's it.

    • Reply

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