Asking the Guests to wear Black

Miss to Mrs, but we don't tell them they can't bring their kids or that they have to be somewhere at a certain time. We tell them (1) who is invited and (2) when the event starts/ends. It's the guests' choice whether or not to come. I feel the same way about theme weddings--I'm not a fan, so if someone indicated a theme I likely wouldn't dress up. If you want to suggest a theme to your guests and they can dress up or not, that's fine. But telling your guests to wear a certain color just for the sake of stunning photos? That's just a whole new level of selfish to me.

I would wear black if they asked me, but everyone wearing black will look like a funeral instead of a wedding IMO.

I think it's about knowing your guests. One of my girlfriends did this and no one had a problem with it. If you think your family/friends would object, then maybe don't go that route.

@FutureMrsPereira I agree for my wedding not a chance in hell, but as guest I wouldn't care I would just wear it.

My daughter sweet 16 was a Hollywood theme and we ask the guest to dress up. I think if a bunch of teenage boys can suffer through wearing ties as an adult I can wear black if asked.

I would honestly just have a problem with black with MY guests because of the traditional Chinese... And some people would believe it was funeral wear. I actually think it WOULD be fun to have a red-carpet wedding! But the reason for doing the theme would be for fun, not because it would make photos look better. That's a lame excuse.

Miss to Mrs, I don't think asking guests to wear all black is "spicing" anything up. I guess I just don't see how putting the start time on the invitation is anywhere remotely the same as telling guests what to wear.

There is a big difference between a theme wedding and telling guests what to wear. The theme is something the hosts decides to do. Guests are not props to help carry out a theme.

I was recently asked to wear white as a guest. I live in NYC. I don't do white. I didn't want to ruin her tableaux. I didn't go.

I don't see a problem with it. If someone invited me to a wedding and asked that j wear a togo I would comply. It's not a big deal. Makes my day easier, I don't have tonpicknout my own clothing.

If asked, I would wear the black. I almost see it as a theme. I threw my mom a 50's sock hop birthday party and on the invites I put " come dressed in your 50's best". Some people did it some people didn't but everyone seemed to have fun.

But I do know some people find it rude. So that is the reason I am not actually doing it. I would personally loved to be invited to a themed wedding ( within reason of course).

No, it might look cool for pictures, but you can't tell people what to wear

Old people would certainly have a problem with it, lots of people in black is typically associated with a funeral. If asked I would probably do it, because I am young and have lots of shoes that I love to make pop with a black dress. But I think the majority would say no. I think just the all white toned decore will be stunning enough if you do it right, theres a lot of all white decore weddings on pinterest.

Honestly, it sounds like and will look like a funeral.

I think it depends on the wedding and the family/friends of the couple. It could be done, but without special circumstances it feels tacky to ask guests to wear a certain colour.

Especially black. I know it's old-fashioned to think that you shouldn't wear black to a wedding, that it's for funerals, but I agree with the idea.

Plus I don't own much black so it would be hard for me to do.

My brother and my SIL requested that I, along with all of our extended family to wear black. And I did. Its HER wedding. They wanted black and she got black. Other members of the family had to wear other colors. The moms were requested to wear silver and the god parents were requested to wear pink. It made for beautiful photos.

Men typically wear black suit jackets and slacks. How is it any different to wear a black dress as a wedding guest?

We are requesting "Mountain Formal Attire" for our wedding with sensible shoes (its on the side of an inactive volcano people!) Will I get mad when my cousin shows up in a Hawaiian print shirt, yes; will he not be in photos because of it. ...No. But he is going to stick out.

If I am paying for family portraits to be done at the wedding then yes, please adhere to my color request.

I didn't tell my guests what to wear, and guess what, everyone looked great. Adults can function and dress themselves to what they think is appropriate. If they think jeans are an appropriate choice for a wedding, no amount of wording on an invite will change that. Also...What the hell is mountain formal? I would be real confused to get that on an invite.

I don't like this idea for multiple reasons. It seems overly controlling just for it to be a "cool" contrast in pictures. It DOES seem like you're asking guests to come to a funeral. It's just plain boring for everyone to be all matchy matchy. A wedding is a celebration! When I get invited to a wedding as a guest I love having the freedom to wear whatever I want as long as it's appropriate to the formality of the event. However at weddings I am usually always the bridesmaid with a specific dress picked out for me by the bride, which I'm fine with because that's what I signed up to do whatever the bride wants, but as a guest, it would be unfair to have these standards for them. I'm glad you seem to understand this is a bad idea also. I probably wouldn't take any more advice from the venue coordinator.

Hey, watch that 'old people' language, lol...

I feel the same way on this that I feel on everything. it depends on your people.

everyone has a different rule book on what is acceptable and what is not. originally, I was going to have my wedding in my hometown in the Midwest. in that arena I would never have asked those attending to all wear a certain color. around there, everyone I know would also consider it taboo to wear black to a wedding.

now where I live now in the Denver area, or in the area where cousin's live in California I would ask people to wear a certain color if I felt it needed. in those places it's done all the time. the other day at the gym I heard someone talking about a wedding and someone asked what color are the guests to wear, so it all depends.

but in the end, I don't think I'd ask people to wear a particular color myself. don't think it would matter to me all that much either way.

This reminds me of a wedding we went to that just so happened to be on Four Weddings, with this kind of request so now it's all making sense. They wanted us to blend in to everything. We were asked to wear neutral colors under the guise of being "honorary GMs and BMs." I wore cobalt blue.

Such a rebel Elyse!!

Yeah I would be afraid of asking people to wear black and then a bunch of people show up in white or something.