Are anyone else's friends stealing their wedding ideas?

This past Saturday we went wedding dress shopping for me and I brought my wedding "portfolio" of dresses that I love (from wedding magazines dating back almost a year) and when I started trying on dresses she started whining that while I looked great the dresses looked like what she was planning on wearing for her wedding.

I'm looking at an ivory lace over champagne dress (all over lace dress) which for my venue and personality is perfect. She is getting married on the beach and the consultant told her that lace + sand would be a bad idea...

I love my sister to death but sometimes I get frustrated. When I went with her to do wedding stuff I didn't look at stuff or even mention my wedding. But on Saturday when I was looking at dresses she talked non-stop about her own wedding and even talked about trying on dresses.

My mom tried to help and steer the conversation back to me since it was supposed to be my day but it didn't work and while I had fun it kind of put a damper CONT

On the whole day.

It has gotten so bad that I've stopped showing her my ideas and instead have been showing my other bridesmaids. Well somehow she found out and went crying to my parents. I was told to watch Bridesmaids because my sister apparently felt like Kristen Wiig's character and thinks my other two BM's are being "Helens"

Well I watched the movie and think that she's totally off. My BM aren't pushing anything on me or trying to take control. They are just there for me to bounce ideas off of and I wouldn't be in the situation if my sister hadn't started acting that way in the first place....VENT! LOL

@Sara P.- That's especially bad, that your own sister would try to steal your wedding colors. Then the dress style too! This is why I'm glad I don't have a sister lol. I hope she doesn't try to steal anything else from you and she picks a different color.

I'm not going to show my bridesmaid any more decoration ideas or anything either, but she's obviously gotta be somewhat involved in the dress and colors for the bridesmaids, as well as their jewelry and hair. I just hope she doesn't try to take the hairstyle ideas next. At least I know she can't try to take my hairstyle because hers is short and I'm growing mine really long.

I'm even thinking about changing my idea for their bridesmaid dresses too, just so our dress colors aren't too similar. I'd still keep my colors, but since we have a carnival theme, I think it would work to have my MOH in lighter blue, maybe an aqua (which she was probably going to be anyway). Then have one in red, one in cobalt and one in yellow.

Just because she is a bridesmaid doesn't mean that she has to know every detail of what you are doing. If you are really worried about this, you need to consider whether she is really that good of a friend. Is it that important that she stand up with you?

@Partly Cloudy- It is important to me that she's part of my day, she's been one of my closest friends since we were about 7. She's always been a pain in the butt, but nothing like this before. She's just one of those people who always thinks she's right and doesn't listen to anyone's advice until it's too late. It'll be ok because I won't share any more major details with her and I can change my bridesmaid dresses, without it being a big deal to me. I know no matter what my wedding is gonna be awesome and they'll still be pretty different because of our theme.

My BM are all married but the only person I am trusting with my most unique ideas is my mom--and whomever is helping me out, if that much.

BM dont need to know everything as Cloudy said above... Mine have color and a vague theme idea and thats about it.

Me and my FH were engaged and planning our wedding. when my brother found out he got mad and said he had to get married first. so he did. he got married on October 8th. Me and FH get married in 33 days ( December 17th) they basically took all of our ideas. I was mad but then i just stopped telling them our plans.

@Jessica C.- I honestly didn't think anything of it when I started sharing my ideas with her, because back when I got engaged, she wasn't. She still technically isn't, which is part of what's frustrating me. He hasn't actually proposed to her yet, they just started talking about it recently and they all of a sudden started planning a wedding for next September. So that was a lot of what made me really mad the other day, she's taking my ideas and doing it when I told her I need to move mine too, and she hasn't even been proposed to yet.

@Naomi W.- It's so much worse when it's family, that had to be awful! I feel like she's doing the same thing to me, she wants to get married first, so she and her man started talking about marriage and next thing you know she's planning it on a date right around the time I told her we're moving ours to. As soon as I got engaged she was jealous and kept talking about how she wants to get married, so I know she's trying to rush and do it so she can be 1st

Girl, this sounds just like the issue my FH and I were having with his cousin. We got engaged and the following weekend she got engaged. We set our date and then they originally set their date for April 14th... the weekend BEFORE our big day. Then all of a sudden, they changed their day to October 8th so they are already married. What bugs me is just like you, we were doing planning together and she was using all my ideas! Thankfully, she ended up having the most redneck, shotgun wedding ever and didn't use any of my ideas. She knew my color was always going to be plum and she was totally going to do her sister's dress that color! It totally pissed me off! She is 19 and felt like she had to be married before us according to other family members. I just hope she got married for the right reasons and not just to "beat us".... ya know? I hope everything works out for you like it did for me.

I never thought a wedding was a competition. People make it seem like my wedding is going to be better than yours thats crazy. I hate when people do that. Like I don't care how many people get engaged first or after me but to know my friend knows my details and then to do the same now that would def piss me off I don't care but as a friend you don't do that. Thats like living my dream wedding through yours. When my FH friend was doing that I felt like she didnt have a taste cause she specially said she is more like a tomboy.

@Mandee L.- I'm glad everything worked out for you and she didn't use your ideas. My friend has that same mentality that she should be married first. She's been wanting to get married for a long time, she really thinks she's gonna marry every guy she dates. The current guy she's only been with for 5 1/2 months and 3 of those he spent in another country, so I worry about her doing this. She really wants to be married and start a family, and she always thought she'd be first. So I think that's why she's trying to rush into it now, when she really can't even afford it.

@Princess- I never really thought of it as a competition either. I didn't expect anyone to ever try and compete with my wedding or try and use my ideas. I'm just glad I know they'll be so different whether she uses similar colors and a vintage style, because I know what my vision is for my wedding, she's clueless about hers.

I actually don't know how I would handle this, because tact isn't really my strong suit. I would keep more things to myself, unfortunately.

This amuses me. I can't imagine being upset if someone wanted to use my ideas. In fact, I would probably just have asked the person if s/he wanted to buy all my leftover wedding stuff to get a head start.

@2d Bride- It wouldn't bother me so much if our weddings weren't gonna be within a couple weeks of each other and if there wouldn't be any mutual guests to notice. If she were a stranger I wouldn't care. It's just annoying to me because she knew I was moving my wedding either to late August or early September and she just swooped in and set a date for early September and then stole my ideas besides. Oh and then had the nerve to tell me that I better not have my wedding in September, when she knows that I don't really have a choice.

Yeah I kind of had some similar issues....it gets really frustrating.

My best friend got married in 2010 and I'm trying very hard not to use any of the same ideas. I even feel guilty for wanting to use a song in my wedding that she used but I've always wanted to incorporate it before her wedding. She used Adam Sandler's Grow Old With You from the Wedding Singer as her recession music. I'm thinking I want to use it for when we're lighting our unity candle and doing the sand thing.

Her sister just got married on 11/11/11 and had a black,white, and pink theme.. I'm going to borrow some of her stuff with her permission but it will be completely different because I want more pink incorporated than she had.

Best someone steal your ideas then your actual DATE!!! Thats right i had a "friend" ask me what my date was so she can stear clear of it, (yea right) then actually steals it! SMH its been wedding wars ever since!

@Sara T.- I think it would be ok if you did some of the same things as your best friend because of the 3 years between weddings. If my wedding was staying in June, and hers in September, it wouldn't matter so much that she wants similar everything, because mine would have been first and I'd have had everything I wanted without people thinking I stole her ideas.

@Chelle C.- I can't believe someone stole your date, that's awful!. I feel like she did steal it even though I don't have our new date set. When we originally set our June date, she started talking about wanting to get married in June (she wasn't engaged), but since I was, maybe she'd do it later in the year. So around a month ago I told her because of his family not being able to come from out of state in June, that we have to do sometime between mid-August - mid-September. I told her our most likely date would be the 3rd weekend of August or the 2nd weekend of September. So of course she started planning 2nd weekend of Sept.

I got engaged and a week later my good friend got engaged. Our rings are exactly alike. I understand that, I'm sure my ring was mass produced. I wanted a spring wedding, around March..... she chose the same week for her wedding. I picked my colors: purple and orange. Guess what she picked. I wanted the wedding party to wear VANS shoes..... Needles to say, I just stopped telling her my wedding plans and totally changed them so she couldn't steal them. I am so happy how everything turned out, that I'm glad that she took the ideas. I was going to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, but that fell through.... after she cheated on her FH.

Dont be a victim like me! thinking no one would do that, but i could tell by the way she asked me something was funny, but gave her the benifit of the doubt.

IDK what it is about weddings but its seems to bring the worst out of people, its like people are happy for you but they are really not and they do this little things to kinda take the focus off of you and on them.

the girl who stole my date is an idiot, we go to the same chruch and have some of the same friends, her cousin is a groomsman and this has caused uncessary tension that she has to deal with b/c everyone is looking at her funny now and you can tell she feels guilty but has yet to address the issue, she just sees us and says, hey guys, whats wrong with you? everything ok? huh anyway.

I would sincerely suggest not sharing any of your ideas with any brides your close to its inevitable that they will copy something, its best to share with ppl who wont be at your wedding like US :-)