A threesome?

Im with Katie, I think its a singles thing. FH brought it up and I said NOPE! All I see is someone getting hurt in the end.

I think its not for the married.............. but to each their own just not in my home! I dont share well...i know sharing is caring but not with the man i'm marrying!

Tami that story right there is exactly why I cant do it personally besides I dont like women and I'm sure my fh doesnt want another man. lol better yet im postive he doesnt

Yaaaa no. i'm not adventurous in that sense AT ALL. i can understand being crazy in college, but once you're married, that's you and your spouse. that's sacred and you've given yourselves to each other. you shouldn't want or need another person coming into that area of your relationship. i would be shocked and really hurt if fh ever suggested that and wasn't joking... heck i'd probably be a little peeved if he even suggested it and was joking haha.

Lol Tami oh gosh...maybe he wanted to make sure he wasnt in a phase

Lol was she calling you to see if you might want to join in?

I wonder if it's more or less common than people think - H has 2 couple friends who are swingers and I once had a girlfriend ask me if I wanted to be in a threesome with her boyfriend. I mean, we were super drunk but I don't get THAT drunk. So, no thanks.....but I guess I'll take it as a compliment? lol.

Also on the stranger vs. friend debate - if you WERE to ever have a threesome, I can't imagine doing either. Seriously - imagine a perfect stranger.....IMO, ew! But then imagine one of your friends.....double ew! But that's just me.

At the end of the day, if I ever saw H making out with someone I would want to die and punch them both in the throat all at once. H feels the same way. So, if he ever did ask about it, something would be wrong.

Tami your story is fascinating - so do you think you were more open to that b/c of your sexuality or just b/c of the boundaries you had in those specific relationships?

I see it like I see strip clubs. It's for single people if they like it, and married people if both sides are into it. But not for me.

I just can't see anything good coming out of adding people even physically to your marriage. Especially if one of you is more into it than the other. Jealousy issues are just too likely to pop up, and I would resent my husband and feel like he's saying me alone is not enough. Plus our vows say "forsaking all others" and I always just saw that as including both the physical and emotional. He's supposed to be the last man I ever sleep with, and I'm supposed to be the last woman he ever sleeps with, and if I felt like either of us couldn't handle that anymore I don't think our marriage would last.

I am not opposed to how other people conduct their sex lives(to each their own), however, I will not share my FH!

Not a good idea. Once upon a time I dated a guy that really wanted to play with another couple. We did, and I was ok with it, but he totally freaked out. Crazy, since he was the one that wanted to do it in the first place. It ruined our relationship, but I guess if he needed to get fulfillment elsewhere, it was already ruined.

I would NEVER put my relationship at jeopardy like that again. What my FH and I have is sacred, and I'm not about to cheapen it by giving it away to someone else. Plus, I know he would never want to see me with someone else or be with another woman.

Not for me.. but variety makes the world go round I guess..

Thats good Tami

Tami thanks for sharing!!! Sorry for my curiosity, I'm really nosy.

I agree with your stance on taking vows, I don't see the point of committing to someone and then having an open relationship. Maybe some people define "intimacy" differently and see sex as a body function, or have different rules that in their minds make the primary relationship still sacred even if they're having orgies all the time? IDK, it's never going to be my cup of tea.

I don't share and I don't play well with others watching. It's my sand box. ; )

Im not against them. but I'm not for them either not my thing but whatever floats your boat

Yeah, IMO it's not good for a committed relationship. If you're just casually dating someone and it comes up, whatever floats your boat. But when you're commited it just messes everything up.

I'm going to go out on a limb here for folks and I know some of you ladies are probably going to be totally against this and that's ok, as most of you have said to each his own. But FH are into the BDSM lifestyle where this type of thing happens alot so I'm totally ok with this. Now that doesn't mean that FH and I do this. It's just means I'm ok with it. If FH were to ask and it was the person I probably would go along with it is all that I'm saying - the circumstances have to be totally and 100% right.

But again this is us, this is part of our lifestyle, this is what we are use to. This is how we met. We are totally open about our lifestyle, but we don't flaunt it.

I'm not saying that either one of us would be looking for a threesome, probably not, it is something that would have to "just" happen or "just" come up.

Saw someone do it. It nearly ruined their marriage because the other girl turned into a live-in girlfriend for the husband. It also split the family in two for over a year because everyone found out about it.

Studies have shown it ruins marriages. I'd suggest if your friend is thinking about it, have her look up the facts.

Edited: Also, they supposedly had clear rules and it was only supposed to be a one-time thing.

Whatever float's their boat!

Personally I could never share FH with anyone and wouldn't want to be with anyone but FH. FH and I have talked to each other about it before and both agreed that we could never do that.

While I was single and much younger I did it a few times but really for me they don't live up to the reputation lol. Being married I feel it's a no no.

That's just something that I could never do, but if that's what someone else like, good for them. I think doing something like that when you are single is one thing, but when you are married, it's totally different. In a way it's giving permission to cheat, so what if he wants to start doing it without her, will she be upset?