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invited Gayle. Of course I haven't and I don't plan on it either. I can't stand this woman. She is annoying in every way. So I used the excuse of "due to fire regulations we can only have a certain amount of people at the wedding and our lists have been cut quite a few times already so we couldn't invite her." Then my grandma asked me if we can change the venue and make it so that more people could be invited. Um, I'm getting married in February. NO we can't change the venue, re-print the invitations and send them all out again. She just kept trying to get me to change it for a good half an hour. Finally I told her that there is no way we can change everything now. Then she said, "well maybe in the summer we can have another party so Gayle can be invited." Sure grandma. I'll get right on it. I start my EMT classes in March through June. When I get a job I can't just start requesting days off just so this woman can be invited to my wedding reception. Not happening. What do you think?

ahh Grandmas...My Grandmother is the same way..but she raised me so she thinks she has a say in who goes to the wedding. Even if my mom raised me she wouldn't have a say! My Gram wants her whole office invited as well as her old co workers from a past job AND the people from the church I hate with a passion (because so many of them call me a slut and other nasty things behind my back for living with my fiance). There is NO way. She pulled the "I'll pay for half of your dress?" card..but Its already paid off Gram! ugh so Yea, ignore her. Maybe explain that you don't really care for Gayle and you don't want that tension at the wedding...or a party later for that matter. If she were anything like my Grandma, shed say "Oh well can't I bring her as my 'date'?" ughh I feel ya hun! I really do!

The thing is my Grandma won't take no for an answer. If she can't get me to do it she'll try getting my Grandpa to or my mom. I'm closer to my Grandpa cause he doesn't push things on me. For almost 3 years the only reason I'm ever nice to Gayle is cause I don't want to cause a big argument about it and cause I promised my mom I'd be nice to her for the few hours I have to be around her. I really don't want her at my wedding or any other party for me because it'll just stress me out and I won't have any fun. My Grandma isn't understanding right now that my EMT class will end in the beginning of June. Then I'm pretty much guaranteed a job here in my town. When I get the job I won't be able to start asking for days off unless I absolutely have to. That's not the first impression I want to make with my future coworkers. I'll be the youngest one of all of us and I want them to feel like they can trust me to be there not call off work for a party.

just be like, "grams, gayle isnt invited. i dotn care for her, nor do i want her there. even if we could invite 1000 people, she would NOT be one of them."
sometimes you need to just be blut, (maybe not that blut) or else your grams will expect her to be at all of your major life events, ie: your bday, your kids bdays, anything and everything.

oh and tell her that you only get married once and dont feel the need to do it all again for just 1 person.

Thanks Shell. I know I should say that to my grandma, but I just don't want her to cause a big argument about it. Which I'm sure she will. Gayle hasn't been to any of my birthdays or any of my major events since she came into my grandparents' lives. She's just been at my cousins and grandparents' birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmas, Easters, and any other time we all have a family thing. I don't think of her as family. I think of her as the woman who my great grandfather hated and the woman who just won't get the clue that I don't want in my life. I always forget her name because when I talk to my mom about her I usually call her the stupid woman we don't like.

My Grams didn't suggest getting married all over, just having another party so we could invite "all the people we can't now"

There may be some underlying reason your grandma feels close to this woman. Just because Grandpa hated her doesn't mean she isn't a good support for grandma. That being said, you don't need to invite her, the nurse, to your wedding. Be gracious and tell grandma you will invite Gayle to your shower and leave it at that. The whole thing about grandma's wanting to invite everybody is a generational thing. Chances are when they all got married it was just cake and punch or at the very least a simple dinner that didn't cost an arm and a leg like it does now so it wasn't a big deal to invite the whole town!

I'm not having a shower because my mom lives in another state and my Maids of Honor are both in school, so I wouldn't be able to just invite her to a shower. I don't know why my grandma likes her so much but she does. The rest of us really don't like her at all. I don't really want people I don't like at the wedding events. I wouldn't be able to enjoy it.

Oh my goodness you handled that ALOT better than i would have girl! I would have said "umm no, she isn't coming because i don't like her and this is MY wedding..end of story". haha.

You could suggest to your grandma that if *she* would like to throw a party in honor of you and your FH after the wedding and invite all of *her* friends (on some night when you both aren't working), you would be happy to attend. She might or might not do it. If she does, then you can please her by going to her party. It's a small price to pay if it appeases her now.

Teamch: lol. I know, I wanted to tell her that. But she's my grandma and I don't want to make her mad at me.

Lisa: I think that if there is a party type thing in the summer she'd do it so she could invite all her friends who have known me since I was little. She is a librarian and I know a few of the ladies she works with and I like them, so if she did throw the party I'd be with them more than the woman I don't like.