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Beginner April 2027

Guest List Part 2

Vivian, on March 12, 2026 at 11:12 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 3

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Hi everyone, I’m hoping to get some honest perspectives from other brides because I’m feeling really stuck right now.

My fiancé and I are planning a wedding of around 120 guests and we’ve been trying to keep the guest list focused on people we actually see and have real relationships with. I’d really like to look around the room on our wedding day and recognize most of the people there.
Right now we already have about 50–60 guests from my side (mostly family and a few friends/coworkers), and the rest are from my fiancé’s side. We’ve also included siblings’ partners, coworkers, and some extended family we don’t see very often.
The issue is my parents really want to invite some of their lifelong friends and extended connections (for example my sister’s godmother and some of my dad’s old friends). These are people I’ve either barely seen in years or don’t really have a relationship with. Their perspective is that weddings are also about honoring the parents’ friendships and community.
My fiancé is also inviting a group of coworkers who would likely sit together at one table. To me that feels a little different because coworkers are people he actually sees regularly.
We haven’t finalized the guest list yet and RSVPs haven’t gone out, so my thought was to wait and see how the numbers shake out before adding anyone else.
But my parents are really upset and feel hurt that they can’t invite a few people who have been important in their lives for decades, and it’s caused a lot of tension.
I feel stuck between wanting to respect my parents and also wanting our wedding to reflect the people who are actually part of our lives.
For those of you who’ve dealt with this:• Did you give your parents a certain number of invites?• Did you wait for RSVPs before adding anyone?• Or did you keep the list strictly to people you personally know?
I’d really appreciate hearing how others handled this.

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3 Comments

Latest activity by Ex MD, today at 3:48 PM

Super December 2022
LM · on March 12, 2026 at 4:05 PM
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Unless your parents pay half the venue cost (the most expensive of all wedding vendors), then they get no say. How generous your fiance's parents are footing the bill and giving your side <50%. Your friends and networks should absolutely be invited as it's YOUR life celebration. I personally paid over $25k for my 85 person reception venue and would not allow my partner to throw a family reunion. Perhaps you should pay for some of your own expenses then your parents will find less reason to bully you. No, your wedding is not about them. Remember "no" is a complete sentence and change the subject. Good luck!
Also, save the dates go out a year out if possible, invitations 2 months prior. RSVP's should be requested about 1 month prior to wedding. This is the accepted etiquette. Plus, asking for RSVP's too early is going to create chaos for you when their plans change. Keep communication simple for your sake. A "B-list" is not recommended as it's very offensive to rank friends and they can feel it when their invites are outside the normalized schedule.
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Super December 2022
LM · on March 12, 2026 at 4:05 PM
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Unless your parents pay half the venue cost (the most expensive of all wedding vendors), then they get no say. How generous your fiance's parents are footing the bill and giving your side <50%. Your friends and networks should absolutely be invited as it's YOUR life celebration. I personally paid over $25k for my 85 person reception venue and would not allow my partner to throw a family reunion. Perhaps you should pay for some of your own expenses then your parents will find less reason to bully you. No, your wedding is not about them. Remember "no" is a complete sentence and change the subject. Good luck!
Also, save the dates go out a year out if possible, invitations 2 months prior. RSVP's should be requested about 1 month prior to wedding. This is the accepted etiquette. Plus, asking for RSVP's too early is going to create chaos for you when their plans change. Keep communication simple for your sake. A "B-list" is not recommended as it's very offensive to rank friends and they can feel it when their invites are outside the normalized schedule.
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Just Said Yes June 2026
Ex MD · Today at 3:48 PM
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