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T & Co
Super March 2014

Would you invite your vendor's plus 1 for the reception dinner?

T & Co, on April 22, 2013 at 8:11 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 17

Assume you don't know the vendor, you only met though wedding planning, no doubt the vendor would eat at the reception but would you allow the vendor to bring a plus1? Another scenario is the vendor is 2 or more staff. Would you even bother extending a plus 1 invitation? It could easily add up to 10-15 extra guests for the reception which are vendors. Personally I would say no only because the vendors are here to do work, ie, setup, makeup, photography, etc. They are not here to entertain their plus1 who knows no one at your wedding. But I am not sure what is the norm.

17 Comments

Latest activity by Samantha, on April 23, 2013 at 8:09 AM
  • Annie
    VIP March 2014
    Annie ·
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    I don't even think they would expect to have a plus 1 invite unless it was a personal friend doing you a favor.

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  • MrsO
    Master May 2012
    MrsO ·
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    No. Vendors are working. They don't get to bring a date (ie a plus 1).

    The only exception to this is sometimes people invite their officiants and offer a plus 1 to them since they aren't actually working the reception.

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  • Combay
    Master April 2013
    Combay ·
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    Heck no. You're there on my dime to provide a service, not a guest. Kindly do your job, get some food and head on out.

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  • T
    Expert August 2013
    ToBMrs.V ·
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    NOOOOOOOO! Where did this even come from?!?!

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  • Shannon
    Master August 2013
    Shannon ·
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    Vendors don't get a +1. The only exception would potentially be your officiant if you if was someone you knew / grew up with for example pastor's wife.

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  • T & Co
    Super March 2014
    T & Co ·
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    Yeah I also thought the only exception is the officiant who often is an elderly and definitely is not going to work at the reception. The other exception which is polite is if say I met the vendor several times say at their house and their spouse happened to be there each time then I would extend an invitation.

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  • T & Co
    Super March 2014
    T & Co ·
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    Haha this came from a friend who is trying to make it as a vendor. She is kind of self entitled and takes a lot for granted. She did work for her first bride. She and I had this discussion where she believe her clients should extend a plus1 invitation for her boyfriend who is not there to help her. I had my reserved thoughts and laughed inside my mind thinking, "what kind of vendor would think this?" I also thought next was, "does she even know she shouldn't be drinking either?"

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  • Tara
    Expert November 2013
    Tara ·
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    No, they are there to work and you are paying them. I wouldn't want to pay for their date too.

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  • T
    Expert August 2013
    ToBMrs.V ·
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    My venue is in a populated area with a lot of restaurants I think they should just go down the street and grab a Jimmy John's sandwhich like I would do during the workday. That being said.......we are doing family style so the expense of vendors eating isn't too bad.

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  • Ella
    Super September 2013
    Ella ·
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    Hmmmm not trying to hijack your post but were doing plated dinner and I hadn't even though of feeding vendors... I guess the only one I can think of is our photographer. Does this mean I send her an invite now do she can choose?

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  • Kendra
    Devoted August 2013
    Kendra ·
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    I don't think they necessarily need to have the meal you are offering to the guests. And of they do, normally they get it from the kitchen. They wouldn't go through a buffet line or sit at a table with guests (atleast this is how I have seen it). I think some caterer's will have sandwiches or smaller meals for the vendors so you aren't paying as much for them per person.

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  • Just Reenski
    Master December 2012
    Just Reenski ·
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    I don't think your vendors even get invitations -- they aren't invited, they aren't guests. They are working your event, they have a contract, and that's it. They certainly wouldn't get a plus one (since they aren't technically invited) nor should they be drinking at the events (which to me would be grounds for a refund due to contract violation.)

    But yes, you should be feeding your vendors -- they are working long hours to make your event great, you don't want them leaving to eat or passing out from hunger. Most caterers/venues will offer a different, less costly vendor meal separate from your reception dinner. At one wedding we went to, we got prime rib, the vendors got hamburgers and french fries.

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  • T & Co
    Super March 2014
    T & Co ·
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    No probs Ella. I was just curious as what the norm is seeing how my friend was adamant about her self entitlement, me and her butt heads all the time. But it does seem to me it's not common for invitations to be extended to vendors and especially their plus1. You don't need to give them an invite, they know they need to be there. But Kendra & Just Reenski mentioned something I didn't think of which is asking the caterer if there is a set aside dinner that are for vendors.

    In my opinion...if av endor believes they can bring a guest that is not their assistant, that's awfully unprofessional and greedy of them since they are not going to give you a discounted price for the service. You're originally already giving them a meal as a gift of their services. Including an extra head + meal means you're paying for them close to 200 bucks total.

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  • Kelly
    VIP February 2014
    Kelly ·
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    NO NO NO!!!! They don't get a plus one, unless their plus one is there working your wedding. We are feeding the team of people that will be working our wedding, however I'm not feeding them the same thing that my guests are having. They will have lesser expensive items off the menu.

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  • Just Reenski
    Master December 2012
    Just Reenski ·
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    A second DJ, an assistant photographer, a DOC's staff are not plus ones, they are employees, usually accounted for in the contract.

    There's no "they only get a plus one if they bring an assistant" -- that is NOT a plus one. Plus ones are only for GUESTS. Vendors are vendors, assistant, main photographer, whoever, still a vendor. Not in any way, shape, or form a guest privy to guest privileges like a plus one or the same expensive meal as your guests (if you have an inexpensive meal like I did, then okay, same food.)

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  • We'llAlwaysHaveParis
    Master November 2013
    We'llAlwaysHaveParis ·
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    Nope. Vendors are accustomed to attending weddings alone. It's a business, not an emotional event.

    Mine will be the last ones to go through the buffet line, but they're not full price. I'm not treating the people who are working to make our day wonderful as though they are lesser beings (run down the street for a sandwich or expect them to pack a lunch).

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  • Samantha
    Master May 2013
    Samantha ·
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    We gave our officiant a plus one for his wife, but that's it. We are also providing meals for our vendors. I really don't get the attitude that they should provide their own food. How weird would it be if your company took a bunch of clients out to a nice lunch, but made their employees bring their own?

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