Winter Solstice Party, Surprise Wedding

I would have to tell them no....this is your annual party...its your money, your friends, etc. If this something they really wanted to do then they should have organized it, paid for it, and then they could invite who they wished.

Wow, super awkward. I thought from the subject line you where hosting a yearly partying and making it a surprise wedding for yourself, which sounds fun, we've known friends that did something similar (but way lower budget like it was just a engagement party turned wedding at a bar but was awesome). That does sound very presumptuous and its totally reasonable to say no to hosting someone else's wedding and having to pay for it. hope it all worked out okay!

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Whooo what a relief...that sounded so uncomfortable

Gee, it's too bad. I used to attend an annual party. Well, it was more of a weekend event. The first night was at one friend's house and then the second night at another's. It was a huge, casual outdoor affair with a live band. We brought food and drink because it was fun and that's how our crowd did it. Lots of out of town guests for the weekend.

Each year, this older divorced guy would bring a different girlfriend. It got to where they would give her a banner to wear, "Miss 20xx." It must have been the year he brought the same girl. Suddenly a group of my girlfriends assembled near the band and started singing, "Going to the Chapel." Yes! They got married right there! Not a dry eye in the house.

Absolutely not. I don't think people really understand how inconsiderate it is to utilize someone else's event to celebrate their own things. Definitely be as nice as you can, but something tells me there may still be some hurt feelings. Hope it works out for you OP!

You have every right to say no because they are essentially haveing you pay for their wedding. You could explain to them that this is your annual thing that you pay for. It this is the type of wedding they want that you would give them the number of your caterer and help them with planning their wedding so it is similar.

Wow! These discussions are so interesting, and it's amazing the situations that pop up on here. I hope your solstice party was fun, and if there's a NYE short-notice wedding, that that will be fun, too. Separately.

View Quoted Comment I'm glad this worked out in your favor but baffled that they didn't even offer to pay for anything. Like - have the surprise wedding and pay for the catering but use your party as a guise.

Courthouse will work fine . Plus why would Christians want to get married at an atheist pagan party

Oh my goodness, I just found this thread. Totally crazy!!!! MrsBdeG, did your friends ever have their NYE wedding and did you help plan???

I would have stopped them in their tracks lol Some people just don't think. Why woudl you use someon else's party for your platform?
Can you tell? my answer is no.. hahahah

Yeah, what did end up happening with the potential NYE plans?

Holy sh*t. It took me a minute to put this together, haha... It would be one thing to have a surprise wedding at their own party, but at a party you're hosting? I feel like that's a bit much to ask from you, and if you're already uneasy about the idea, I say go with your gut and turn the idea down.

This is crazy, to think that they could use your party as their surprise wedding without offering to contribute to it. But also it is weird that they spoke to their pastor without having your approval of their wedding at your event. That is pretty bold on their part to assume they could do this. In glad it worked out for you in the end though.

I have to say I don't think I would allow this. This is your party- with your friends and inviting a bunch of people you don't know and paying for it is out of the question. Maybe offer to have the wedding at your place and give them your vendor contacts and they can do it on a separate day.

Wow ... Yea no

I'm just now stumbling across this post... uhhh no. Especially since it's an intentionally non-religious shindig (great idea btw- my have to borrow it, also an atheist). That would be so awkward- like "Hi pastor, welcome to our party! We believe nothing of what you preach!"

View Quoted Comment Holy zombie thread Batman! Hahaha. It seems some of you guys wanted updates!

I don't want to post too much detail because I know "bashing" others weddings can be negative buttttttt

My DH and I (and a bunch of friends who just thought it was a NYE party) got uninvited at around 9PM...Bride decided it was going to be family only.
I ghosted my family during the holidays, drove to NH to pick up alcohol, made goodie bags, helped print programs, helped her research wedding rings, gave her the contact for my caterer, seamstress and DJ, helped her clean her house, and this is what she did.
We ended up throwing a party at my friends' house nearby but everyone was a bit miffed (not nearly as livid as me). Tried to have fun but still...
Ugh. Lesson learned: Don't be nice to people 😡

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Woooow that's insane. I wouldn't even know how to react to that!