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Mrsbdg
Champion August 2017

Winter Solstice Party, Surprise Wedding

Mrsbdg, on December 19, 2017 at 6:19 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 134

This Saturday night we are hosting our annual Winter Solstice party. We have it every year and we always make sure to go all out with awesome catered food and booze. We typically have a decent number of people attend each year which are friends from college and our co-mingled group. We had a friend-couple (a couple we are friends with) that we invited for this year ask us if we would "mind" if they had a "surprise wedding" during our party. I was shocked because...who wouldn't be! We've been friends for years and we love them dearly but it's kind of our party that we our money into and we do celebrations to celebrate the season/coming new year. It just seems like they are trying to take over (want to invite their parents and a Christian pastor).

Help on what to say/do with this?

134 Comments

Latest activity by T P, on May 4, 2018 at 12:57 PM
  • J. Clo
    Master May 2018
    J. Clo ·
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    Ohhh - I love holiday dinners!!! Sorry but I would decline. They are basically trying to get a free wedding out of you. Perhaps position it that you are humbled but a wedding can be overwhelming (having just had yours) and to host it is an extra level of responsibility than a holiday party than you feel comfortable taking on.



    ETA: Sunshine and rainbows.

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  • Kristin
    Super July 2018
    Kristin ·
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    I would say no in the politest way possible. Basically they want you to fund their wedding? Tell them that this costs you a lot of money and it is not reasonable to expect you to pay for their wedding.

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  • O
    Master October 2017
    O ·
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    Smiley surprise I wouldn't know what to say. They put you in a weird position, and if you say "yes" or say "no" it's all terribly awkward. I'm leaning towards "No".
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  • OGJessieJV
    Master July 1867
    OGJessieJV ·
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    No, the answer would be no.

    But with sunshine and rainbows!
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  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
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    No unless they were contributing to the party
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  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    That was our point too! It was like, "Hey we just shelled out big bucks for our wedding but you want to use our fun atheist/pagan holiday party for a Christian wedding!"


    I think that may be the way we go...that the caterer already has final numbers and we can't host anyone else, let alone a wedding!

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  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    Nope! This is our yearly party and we host it ourselves.

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  • Mrs. B to Be
    Beginner August 2018
    Mrs. B to Be ·
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    What? Sounds to me like they want to have a lovely wedding with food and decor and a venue...without paying for food, decor, or a venue. I'd say no.
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  • Kristin
    Super July 2018
    Kristin ·
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    Then you have a good excuse to go with too.. Because I am sure their parents and pastor could turn into a slippery slope of siblings, other friends, etc.

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  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    LOL! DH suggested just never answering them...That just seems like they'd show up and try it anyway.

    It's such an awkward position to put us in Smiley atonished

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  • FME
    Master March 2018
    FME ·
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    Let them know that they can either contribute towards the costs if they want to take over your party! I mean that in a nice cheery positive way.
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  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
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    I would be honest and say it’s more of a laid back party and you don’t feel comfortable with it.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Wow, yeah no. I'd fully say no. "I'm sorry, that won't be possible".

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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    What a weird position for them to put you in. I would definitely say no.
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  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
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    Did they just ask today? Two days before the event? I'd have no issues blaming your "no" response on on the caterers already having final numbers and not being able to change it this late (not that any of us would even want to change it if we were in your shoes).

    There are so many things wrong with what they've asked (for you to host their wedding, for them to be able to steal your event, for them to force their religion on your event).
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  • Marissa
    Savvy September 2018
    Marissa ·
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    That’s crazy! It would be a great idea if they were the ones hosting the party... not taking over yours! I would just say that the party you have already planned was enough work, you can’t accomodate a change of plans/ guests at this point. Good luck!
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  • Melissa
    Master March 2018
    Melissa ·
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    You definitely need to address it and tell them no.
    If you don’t answer they probably will try it and assume it’s okay.
    Your holiday party is not their free wedding.
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  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    Yup about a half hour before I posted. My DH and I just stared at the text and he said: "I think this is one for your forums!"

    I don't know why they'd choose now since they've been engaged for about a year!

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  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    Yeah I want a nice, almost "soft" no so they don't think we hate them or hurt our relationship with them. I'm kind of half hoping they were joking??

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  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
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    What a hot mess! I can't imagine two days before thinking "oh, we should get on those wedding plans...call the BdeG's to make arrangements!" Or even making any wedding plans in 2 days other than deciding to have the wedding at a courthouse, provided you're not in a state that has a waiting period of 3 days or longer for a license.
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