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Lindsey
Savvy November 2010

Who all does the bride and groom buy a gift for????

Lindsey, on July 29, 2010 at 11:52 AM Posted in Planning 0 22

Both of our familys are divorced so we don't really have the money to buy each every person a gift plus our bridesmaids. traditionaly, who do you guy gifts for? mother AND step-mother of groom? Father of groom and stepfather of bride? Ok i know this might be confusing so let me run down the line.

my mother and HTB's father got remarried. so I have a stepfather and he has a stepmother. Do we also have to buy them gifts as well as the rest?

22 Comments

Latest activity by Jack, on December 6, 2018 at 9:51 PM
  • ♥ Elizabeth Nicole ♥
    Master May 2011
    ♥ Elizabeth Nicole ♥ ·
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    Mind you, this is what my wedding etiquette book says:

    Everyone who played a part in your wedding plans deserves a special, meaningful gift from the two of you. Here are the people you should thank with your choice of meaningful gifts:

    -your parents and stepparents

    -your maid or matron of honor

    -your bridesmaids

    -your junior bridesmaids

    -your flower girls (and get a separate gift for their parents as a thank you for their time and investment in your wedding!)

    -your best man (or best men)

    -your groomsmen

    -your ringbearers (and again, their parents)

    -those who performed readings or musical performances at your wedding

    -any relative or friend who helped you with the wedding plans, such as allowing you to use their car, their house, or networking you into big discounts with your caterer

    -your wedding coordinator

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  • binx
    Master August 2010
    binx ·
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    That wedding etiquette book says a lot. not sure i agree with some of it... but everyone who does play a part in your wedding

    - parents & stepparents

    - MOH

    - BMs

    - junior BMs (if having)

    - flower girl(s) I don't think a gift for their parent(s) is necessary but whatever

    - best man

    - groomsman/groomsmen

    - ringbearer (again, don't think parental gift is needed)

    - person marrying you. if it's a religious ceremony then i think a monetary gift is fine.

    Personally, I think that's all but again... depends on how much people help.

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  • Lindsey
    Savvy November 2010
    Lindsey ·
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    Thank you for your input I greatly appreciate it!~ Smiley smile

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  • ♥ Elizabeth Nicole ♥
    Master May 2011
    ♥ Elizabeth Nicole ♥ ·
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    Lol! I didn't say I agree with it--it also says that there is nothing worse than not giving favors than playing favorites (which is TRUE--you should get everyone the same favor; HOWEVER, I'm not doing favors and I think there is nothing wrong with that!!).

    FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, so I'm pretty sure that we aren't getting parents gifts... what do you think about that? Do I have to??

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  • Rayna L. Brown
    Rayna L. Brown ·
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    Traditionally, as you noted, you should give gifts to everyone who participates in your wedding in addition to both sets of parents (and steps etc.) BUT... it should always be understood by those around you especially parents if you are financially strapped. Rather than giving a gift, maybe dedicate a song to them at the reception, say special words to them at the reception or during your lighting of the candle when the mothers come up you can give a single rose or something of that nature. Think of creative ways to recognize them economically.

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  • Michele
    VIP July 2010
    Michele ·
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    It's a nice thought and sentiment, but you don't absolutely have to. Gifts for parents can be combined, if that saves money, but still preserves the sentiment. Example: a nicely put together photo album, which doesn't have to be very big, and can be inexpensively done, can be give to each set of parents. That would be 4, instead of 8 individual gifts. Not sure if that might help...

    The gifts don't have to be outrageously expensive, either. A $20.00 gift, for example, can be just as expressive as something costing $100.00.

    But, again, in today's world, I think this has become more optional.

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  • Lindsey
    Savvy November 2010
    Lindsey ·
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    I think we decided to just get a personalized photo frame with our engagment photo(later a wedding photo) for each household! That way noone is singled out. And they each get the same thing so I dont' have to hear any bs! lol! Thanx again!

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  • Alanna
    Just Said Yes October 2010
    Alanna ·
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    Ack I've been worrying about this too- and I just decided NOT to worry about it anymore. The groom is giving the mothers a flower during the ceremony, and the dad just gets to hang out and have fun. Smiley smile I have gifts for the bridal party, the officiant (a friend doing it for free), the DJ(another friend, discounted), and my hairdresser- (another free friend). Thank god for friends!

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  • Cass
    Savvy June 2016
    Cass ·
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    What about siblings? My [half] sister is very supportive and offered to help, but my half brother is useless, as well as my FH's sisters (although they have always been spoiled, and were expecting to be part of the wedding party, so would prob expect a gift) - then there's their bfs.... Or am I thinking too much into this gift thing? Lol

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  • S
    Just Said Yes June 2015
    Sarah ·
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    Hmm I think that I am going with the 'whoever contributed' option. Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, MC (friend), and my mum (who is paying for a large portion of the day). I do feel a bit awkward about getting my mum something and not getting my Mother in law a gift? So I may get her a little something, even though she has done absolutely nothing to help and has actually been more annoying in the process than anything haha

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  • B
    Beginner June 2016
    Brianna ·
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    Don't forget your officiant if he/she was special to you. We are getting personalized frames from our parents and wedding officiant with our names and wedding dates from this company.

    https://www.etsy.com/shop/MemoryScapes

    I swear you can find any unique gift on etsy!!!

    Here's a couple we got...




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  • Kristin
    Just Said Yes October 2016
    Kristin ·
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    I am wondering if we are supposed to give future in laws gifts as well as our own parents. For example: I buy a gift for my mother, father, MIL, and FIL. My FH buys gifts for mother, father, MIL, and FIL. ? Or is it supposed to be more of a joint gift? Thanks!

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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    Traditionally, you give a gift to everyone in your wedding party (bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, ushers, etc.) and each of you give a gift to your parents as thanks! Some couples also exchange gifts to each other on their wedding day!

    Here are some great gift ideas:

    15 Bridesmaid Gifts You'll Also Want For Yourself

    12 Cool Groomsmen Gifts Under $50

    25 Gifts To Give Your Fiancé(e) For $150 or Less

    Wedding Day Gifts for Brides and Grooms

    20 Thank You Gifts Under $200 For Parents

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  • Elizabeth
    Devoted October 2017
    Elizabeth ·
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    This was helpful!

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  • KristyTheBride
    Just Said Yes November 2017
    KristyTheBride ·
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    Hi everyone! This post is so helpful!

    We are giving all the bridal party the same gifts (necklaces for the ladies, wallets for the men). We are writing personal Thank You notes to all involved (bridal party, parents, wedd. coordinator, minister).

    Wondering - should we be getting gifts (vs. monetary tips) to the coordinator and minister?

    Also - is it terrible not to gift MoH & Best Man something different from the rest of bridal party? We are personalizing the necklaces/wallets & think everyone will like them.

    Thanks for any feedback!

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  • Caitlyn
    Just Said Yes May 2018
    Caitlyn ·
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    So, for clarification, does each the bride and groom get a gift for each parent? Or should it be a collective gift for each parent from the both of us?

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  • Soon2Bmrsp
    VIP May 2019
    Soon2Bmrsp ·
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    Even if you're paying for your own wedding, you're expected to provide your parents with a gift??

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  • Christy
    Dedicated May 2018
    Christy ·
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    We bought gifts for each other. I got gifts for my parents, he got gifts for his and then we bought two wine labels off etsy that him and I will gift to each others parents. We got gifts for all groomsmen, bridesmaids, best man, maid of honor, ushers, flower girls and ring boy. OUr bridal party has 22 people in it! It's a lot but when you step back and look at it people are investing in your day. From tuxes, dresses, makeup, hair to accommodations! A gift is a small token of your gratefulness Smiley smile

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  • Rachael
    Just Said Yes May 2018
    Rachael ·
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    My fiance and I are paying for our own wedding. We have two children already, and everyone knows money is tight. I paid for my girls' hair pieces as their "gift" and we're paying for the guys' ties as their "gift", as well as my father's tie. I also purchased my MIL to be a bracelet, but I'm not sure what to get for my mother & stepmother? Am I the one that decides that, or is it up to my fiance, since I bought his mother a gift? Any ideas or advice is welcome.

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  • T
    Just Said Yes August 2018
    Tina ·
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    I know this is a old post and was wondering that myself. My groom and I are paying for the wedding. My mom did buy my gown and shoes and his dad is giving us a very small 12 person rehearsal dinner. What do you give a 88 yr old father of the groom?
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