Which is more rude, cash bar or dry wedding?

Dry wedding for sure. I would at least buy a drink or 2 if there was a cash bar.

A dry wedding. At least at a cash bar you have that option

Every wedding I've ever been to here in Wisconsin has been cash bar. I don't see a problem with it. Most people up here expect that. We're having a cash bar because people tend to abuse open bar in my opinion, and we don't have the budget for it. They should be there to celebrate you, not drink on your dime...but at least give them an option to buy drinks versus a dry wedding.

We’re having a cash bar at our wedding. And no, it’s not because we’re “tacky” or “cheap.” We plan to put on our invites ‘No Host Bar’ to give everyone a heads up. Being completely honest, if anyone were to not come because of the bar, then that’s not a loss for us- we’d prefer that those types of people don’t come. No need to spend $40-50 on a plate of food that obviously can’t be appreciated enough without an open bar too. The most rude thing is not a dry bar OR a cash bar- it’s those people that sling nasty, distasteful remarks at those who choose to have a wedding the way they want to have it.

Cash bar..Ugh. I'd be so embarrassed if my guests had to open their wallets during my own wedding. Dry wedding I am more conflicted. I understand their purpose, especially in church settings. On the other hand, all of my most pious of friends have had open bar weddings. The only dry wedding I attended was just a mess. Some people actually grabbed their gifts while leaving the wedding early, but that is another story.

I keep whisky in my bar at home. Truth be told, I hate whisky. I dislike the smell, the taste, just gross. However, I host guests that enjoy whisky. So I keep it stocked. Because when you throw a party you are hosting your guests. It's not about you.

A dry wedding is definitely worse. A cash bar would give people who drink an option to get one if they choose. I don’t see an issue with a cash bar at all. When people go out to party at the club they usually buy their own drinks. What’s the difference? The couple has already spent so much money on the wedding in order to entertain the guests, so who cares if they have to buy a drink or two? If you are someone who goes to a wedding and gets offended because there is no alcohol, you clearly don’t belong there. Instead of worrying about drinks, the main priority should be celebrating the newlyweds. Not judging them based on what they were or weren’t able to provide.

View Quoted Comment Well said.👍🏾

View Quoted Comment My wedding isn’t about me...? That’s conflicting.

View Quoted Comment Agreed .. my wedding is about the people are there to celebrate me .: but the day isn’t about me ?

View Quoted Comment No it's not. The ceremony is about you and your FI. The reception is for the guests.

View Quoted Comment That may be how your wedding is; but unfortunately, you don’t speak for every bride or couple.

View Quoted Comment I’m going to have to disagree there; my wedding day is about ME AND MY FIANCÉ .. the only reason there’s a Reception is because I got married ..

View Quoted Comment It's not up for discussion. Manners are non negotiable. Writing Thank You notes is tedious, time consuming, and with postage...can be costly. Why do we do it? Because it's good manners.

You aren't exempt from the laws of etiquette just because it's your wedding. A reception is the first time you are showing how gracious of a host you are as a married couple. Too many disappont these days, and it doesn't go unnoticed.

I haven't said anything unkind about anyone. I simply stated facts and my own opinion on the subjects.

I am only warning brides that this behaviour will have consequences. Other guests are publicly complaining about how inhospitable weddings have become. You can't hide behind the "this is my day" chant for forgiveness.

My FH and I are excited to spoil our guests with a lavish reception. They deserve all our gratitude for taking the time from their busy lives to celebrate our wedding.

Dry wedding. At least at a cash bar wedding you could have a drink even though you would have to pay.

Dry weddings usually end early

but if you don't want alcohol and it offends some....don't offer it

I've been to open and cash bars and I understand both pros/cons to both

For me, Cash Bar is much more rude. You took the initiative to have alcohol but you didn't feel like paying for it. Instead, you had your guests pay for it.

All these replies make me sad, were having an open bar because its expected in NJ, but what if someone was a former addict/alcoholic and wanted to have a dry wedding? People saying they'd leave and such? Thats sad. Amazing how much people need alcohol to enjoy themselves.

View Quoted Comment

Allyssa, as someone in recovery, I can address this somewhat: I had an open bar at both my weddings. I keep alcohol in my home (our home) as we serve it to guests. Our wedding was hosting our guests, and that included alcohol if they chose. When I attend a wedding, I am responsible for me and only me. Too many brides couch the "what about the AA folks? Better keep it dry!" as excuse to save money. Now, if two people were fresh out of treatment/beginning their new "normal" and have half their guests in recovery, I get it the feeling towards dry, same for LDS and Muslim celebrations.

The funny thing, I never drank at open bars at weddings - that is another "thing": "People with a problem will take advantage of it!" No, I preferred to get hammered at home in the privacy of my home, lol!

Sorry for addressing this thread and reviving it, I just wanted to throw in my two cents. Thanks!

Dry wedding... DON'T DO IT!

Please Lord never make me go to a wedding where I cannot drink.