When does it become acceptable to fire a bridesmaid?

This person is not your friend.. Maybe you have been to her but she is not in your corner.. I'm with the others about kicking bridesmaids out but there doesn't seem to be much of a relationship to salvage anyways if you did. Totally up to you. Hopefully you will be at peace with whatever decision you make..

Not a very good friend

Why do you have such a hateful person as your bridesmaid?

@Erin Why tf did I ask her? I guess you missed my comment about her being there for me through the death of my son. I don't find this behavior acceptable, and when I tried to talk to her about it, she's laughed at me and told me to lighten up. Do I want her friendship now? No, not really when she makes me feel like complete shit all the time. Demeaning my ideas, and telling me my dream dress is hideous, but "my style" that's obviously an insult. So, do I change my colors because she got the wrong color dress?? Do I wait until she does something terrible the day of the wedding and I snap and scream at her, really looking like a bridezilla? At this point, I'd consider it bullying. The ONLY reason I haven't already snapped at her is because of the pain she helped me through. It's hard to let that go.

Of course, we here are against kicking bridesmaids out of the bridal party. But, this one sounds like a bridsmaidzilla, and from what you are saying, it's not your fault. Honestly, I wouldn't want that, either. If you do want to kick her out, you should first evaluate your relationship with her, and whether or not you even want to be friends with her from then on, because you could loose her friendship. Kicking her out should be last resort, though.

You could try to talk to her, and ask her if she really wants to be in your wedding (although it sounds like she does, given her lead in the situation). I know you said she just laughs, but maybe sitting her down and talking seriously to her about everything might help her take you seriously and understand that she needs to take it down a notch. Good luck with whatever you do.

She's gas lighting you- it's manipulative and mean.

You need to have a real conversation with her and tell her to cut the shit.

It's funny that you say that, JoRocka, because I've felt since this started that I was back in my previous emotionally abusive relationship. I'm walking on eggshells over MY wedding. I'm getting miserable and just hoping it speeds up and gets here so I can get it over with. That's not exactly how I want my wedding to be, you know?

I absolutely understand.

and she can say "i'm kidding, or lighten up" all she wants- it just change the fact she hurt your feelings- she is trying to deflect and make YOU feel bad for feeling bad.

Do some research on how to handle/deal with someone who is gaslighting you (when you can't just walk away) - it should help.

Tell Her she's been "promoted to a guest" lol

I would say BYE Felicia! There actually is more to BM-Ing than showing up sober and wearing a dress: Don't act like THIS bridesmaid. She needs to get gone.

She sounds like a horrible friends Perhaps she was great during a particularly difficulty time in your life. But it sounds like she can't be in a mature, supportive, adult friendship at this point. You already tried talking to her. It sounds like she heard it and ignored it. I'd say time to cut your loses from that "friendship".

If someone literally laughs in my face when I express concerns over how the way they're treating me makes me feel, I wouldn't have them I my life anymore in any capacity. She's not just being mean. That's downright hateful.

Sorry you are going thru this. Some people are in your life for a season and it sounds like her time was thru the death of your son. Just because she was there for you then doesn't mean she is still good for you now. That hardest part of dealing with people for me is knowing when to walk away. This sounds like your time to walk away...or have a serious convo with her standing up for yourself. It will piss her off and probably still ruin the friendship but at least you do your part to try to fix it but more importantly protect yourself.

As we say in Atlanta...."You have been let GO" !!!! She needs to go.

@Kat - I actually didn't read all the comments - and I am sorry for your loss love.

I think you have your answer. With the way she has been treating you - you are okay with loosing the friendship.

OP, some friends are great for a certain chapter in our life. Based on your comments, it sounds like she was there when you needed her, but you've both changed since. And that's OK. I've ended a 10-year friendship recently for similar reasons - we had college in common, but since then she had become toxic to be around, and I just didn't want her in my life anymore. It's a tough decision, but eliminating a toxic person from your life is so freeing. I wish you the best of luck.

I would say if your ready to end the friendship for good then "fire" her bc she sounds awful.

But if not than talk to her 1 on 1 and tell her cut the shit!!!

I made the mistake in choosing my bp too early and let a bm put herself in the wedding she then took herself out and I replaced her (don't do that!) and it was major drama she was mean cold and nasty to me bc she was hurt and we were both in the wrong but she took it waaaay too far and tried to ruin the wedding all together. (she called the venue pretending to be me and canceled!!!) I ended the friendship all together.

So tread lightly if this is someone who means a lot to you

@mna that's a great comment

try to address it, do what you can, and that's all you can do. Don't stress, this is your time. YOU GOT THIS!

I've read in comments about her supporting you through the loss of a child; I am so sorry for your loss, and understand why you'd hesitate to fire her.

But that being said, her shizz needs to stop.

If you suspect that she's not actually a terrible person, but that it's jealousy OR your wedding is bring up some of her own issues, I'd have a chat. Tell her you don't want her to be unhappy or feel put upon, so if she'd rather not be a bridesmaid, it's time for her to step down. I'd write this to her. If her response is anything but "I'm really sorry for my behavior," this is one friend you don't need and it's time to terminate the friendship. Sometimes friends are in your life for a season. Edit: be careful not to get caught with her trying to throw blame back on you for the way she acts. If she does, she's an abuser and you need to cut her out immediately.

Can you slap her for her rudeness before you fire her? Lol I have never had a friend, or best friend for that matter treat me that way. She doesn't sound like a nice person and you're probably better off without her.