When does it become acceptable to fire a bridesmaid?

FIRE HER ASS!!!!! she needs to go! her behavior is completely unacceptable. After everything you said it seems to me that she is honestly just jealous of you and trying to make everything about her. She needs to go no questions asked, and you shouldn't want someone like that in your wedding or as a friend.

That's just hurtful. True friends know that being in a wedding isn't always convenient but they love you and support you. Above all they want you to be happy. Try having another serious heart to hear with her and explain how she's hurt you. If she laughs it off again, I'd say sorry, seeya!

I don't necessarily think that has to be a friendship ender. I think it depends on how it's done. Sometimes, I just think people don't want to be BMs and for whatever reason, they still agree. She doesn't sound like a very good friend right now so maybe if you talk about and how she's making you feel, you might learn what's going on for her. Perhaps she is really just a crappy friend and so no loss there, perhaps she's just bad at being a BM (I've seen it and I can't figure out why people just don't say no if they don't want to do it), or maybe you can resolve the problem and she'll still be a BM

I agree with @alice r and @susan m.

If I were you, I'd call her on it. Sit her down and point blank say "you've been behaving strangely. Do you want to participate in the wedding?" Let her know it's okay if she doesn't. You *might* be able to salvage the friendship by giving her an out and telling her you understand if she doesn't want to/can't be in the wedding for whatever reason. If you want to keep her as a friend I mean. Which, honestly I wouldn't blame you if you didn't.

She will threaten to step down again. And when she does, you can say ok. And move on. She'll probably tell you she was joking or tell you to lighten up and you can stay strong. You don't need this stress. I'm always a fan of peaceful parting instead of a dramatic firing.

If you have already spoken to her I wouldn't put up with it any longer.

She doesn't sound like much of a friend. A good friend would support you and keep her opinions to herself. I'd let her off the hook.

Yeah. She's gone. I politely confronted her again about talking down to me, and she got all posts with me, and I said if she didn't want to be a BM, it was fine and I would be okay with that. I didn't say it in a tone that could be taken in any way but understanding, and she responded with "So I help you gravel over a dead baby, and you just kick me out of your wedding? After I bought a very expensive dress? That's how you're going to treat me? Whatever" I then sent her this video, with no further words.

https://m.youtube.com/?reload=7&rdm=25yzop1jo#/watch?v=0doSWS0Fj24

Wow. What a nasty bitch. Yeah you did the right thing confronting her and letting go of that "friendship." Just because someone was a decent person in the past, doesn't mean they are a decent person now. You were under no obligation to have her in your bridal party just because of that time but what is done is done, and perhaps this is for the better. That is one person, who seems like a horrible human being, that you absolutely do not need in your life.

You did the right thing. A toxic friend isn't a friend at all.

I'm super curious about what that video is...it wouldn't load for me for some reason...But hopefully you find peace now since she really made it obvious that you made the right choice. What she said was so horrible (I'm very sorry for your loss) and it sounds as if she almost feels like friendship is quid pro quo and she somehow paid her part to be able to treat you like that.

Jenni, it's a really cheerful video that basically is like "You Are A Cunt cunt cunt cunt" lol