When do "cold feet" become something serious?

I think this is more than cold feet. Seeing him after being separated and not having the desire to be close to him, kiss him, etc.? That is definitely not good.

Just wanted to update everyone who has so kindly offered their advice and time on this thread, and anyone who is keeping up with it. We have decided that it's in the best interest of both of us to call off our wedding because of my reservations about it. He is pretty heartbroken, and it's truly the hardest thing I've ever done, but I have peace about this decision deep down. I think I have known this would be the outcome for awhile, but it's another thing completely to open up to it and actually accept breaking an engagement as a possibility. My plans to see a counselor haven't changed, and we haven't decided yet if we will remain together long-distance over the next two years. For now, though, I am at peace with where things are, even though it hurts. Thanks again to all of you for your advice and support.

Hugs. It's for the best. Good luck with everything.

Big hugs to you! I can't imagine how it must feel, but I hope you continue to have peace from your decision and this puts you on the path to the right future for both of you.

Good luck with everything, maybe once counseling is done you will be able to work things out. If not, don't be afraid to let go. (hugs)

You are so strong Courtnee. Hope you get through this and to the other side knowing it was the right thing to do!

I think maybe he's not the right one for you as hard as that may sound. I actually went to counseling with an old boyfriend (yes, seriously) we weren't engaged we just decided to try to go and work out our issues. Our issues were that I really just wasn't in love with him and that was that. It was a hard decision, but he's now married and I will be too. It will all work out the way the universe/god/whatever intends. I would start with counseling, but overall go with your gut. Weddings and divorce are expensive.

edit: Sorry didn't see your update post! Best of luck to you. The right person will surely come along even if it's 10 years from now--the right person will come along!

Wishing you all the best. My heart goes out to both of you. Just know you are strong and brave and may have saved both of you from many years of heartbreak now, rather than later.

That was very brave of you. It's going to be rough for a while but it sounds like it was the best thing for you to do. {{{HUGS}}}

Good luck - I think you did the right thing for BOTH of you.