What?! My parents are not paying for the wedding

With thsi and the maid of honor situation I'm wondering if we should just elope.

That happened to my friend too. Turns out that her parents had lost a lot of money when the economy collapsed. Maybe just ask your parents what's up. I bet they feel as bad as you do.

They did lose some money in that ponzi scheme a few years ago but they do alright. I wasn't going to have some lavish wedding like my sister did. I'm the second to last sister so I feel like the middle child that gets nothing.

I think it's great that they will pay for the dress! If your parents are like most, they are probably struggling with this economy like everyone else. And of course, no one can or should ever expect to have their parents foot the bill for their wedding. Accept the gift of your dress graciously, and be thankful for the people in your life that ARE there for you, your parents included. Try to get refocused on the fact that the wedding is just one day, the main event is the marriage.

If you're adult enough to get married you're adult enough to pay for it.

Wow Nicci, that is a bit harsh. I never said we couldn't afford it I'm just surprised that they paid for my sisters but not mine.

Exactly what Analy said. Focus on being grateful for what they ARE giving you, instead of upset about what they aren't.

I'm just speaking truth. I didn't expect my mom to help with my wedding even though she did a majority of my brothers. Like Analy said, times are tough just be happy they are willing to help with something and be grateful for that.

Which is why I'm thinking of eloping because it IS just a day. But are you all telling me that if your parents paid for your sister's weddings and not yours you wouldnt be upset about it?

The only thing you can do is to ask why they did what they did for your sisters, and why they aren't doing it for you as well. Maybe they are concerned it will end in divorce like your sister's did. They may only have enough funds for a dress. I mean, dresses get pretty damn expensive! Some ladies have a dress that they will wear for one day only, and it's twice as much as what my budget is!

No, I wouldn't. Things change, people lose money, it's life. I'd be ecstatic if my parents would even buy my dress, but my dad is dead and obviously can't help me, and Mom has little money. So just be grateful you get SOME thing, some people don't get anything.

I agree with what Analy said.

I see many posts like this and it reminds me of high school kids competing with each other "my xxx cost more than urs" or "mom and dad did this for me and not you". I have experienced both of these scenes. It should never be about how much someone provided for the wedding but about the happiness and support given to the said bride and groom.

Considering your parents did pay for the other weddings, I understand you are shocked and disappointed. The economy sucks. Perhaps, they took a loss. THey don't owe you an explanation, but perhaps if you tell them how you feel, you may get one. I would focus on what they offered to do, pay for your dress. In today's economy even that is a huge offer. There are many young brides on this board, who don't even have that luxury.

Yes, this is a wedding planning forum. However, if I had to cancel my DW today, and marry at the courthouse, I would in a heartbeat. To me, the most important aspect is that I am marrying the man of my dreams, no matter where or how.

I dont' think you are being ungrateful, Jill. It just sounds to me like you needed to vent about being upset at feeling less than your sisters. I don't think that's the case, though. I know I would be upset as well but what can you do? Unfortunately, the economy sucks. If you are close with your parents and feel that you can tell them that you are upset about this then maybe you should talk to them. Just to get it off of your chest. Not to try to get them to pay for more or to make them feel badly. Thankfully, I was an only child until I got 2 stepbrothers later in life. I never had to deal with all of the sibling stuff. Sorry you have to deal with it. But it will be fine!

It sounds like your life really super sucks right now and it can only get worse... you might as well just elope as you suggested, or just break off the engagement until you're better mentally prepared for the inevitable tough circumstances that come along with planning a wedding.

Hi Jill! I see where you are coming from, it's not that you don't appreciate the help but that you are being treated differently to your siblings. Same thing if they all got invited round for christmas dinner but you didn't? I would just ask them really nicely saying that you understand if their financial situation has changed and that you are really appreciative of them offereing to buy your dress or whatever but you do feel like you're being treated differently.

I can tell you this- my parent's gave very little money to my sisters and my brother for their weddings, but they are helping with mine. My sisters and brother recognize that my parents are in a much better financial situation now then they were 8 years or more ago when the rest of them got married. Instead of being jealous they are happy for me that I found my husband and that they can help us.

Miss Me, you sound like you have some issues yourself. I love my family and if my parents cannot afford it that is fine. I have 5 sisters so yes there is and has always been competition but they are still my family. I'm coming here to vent instead of bratting out on them.

Contrary to how some of you have made me out I AM an adult.

I've read a lot of the posts on here and half of them from all of you are selfish in nature.

I'm astonished at your accusations!

I agree with Analy. You can't really expect your parents to pay for your wedding even though they paid for your sibling's weddings. Anything could have changed their financial situation and they may not be able to afford that now. I also agree with Nicci. Part of being an adult and embarking on a marriage is being able to be financially responsible enough to pay for it yourself, if need be.