I don't think anything's a waste of money if you actually want it and you spend a proportional amount on guest comfort. I watch Say Yes to the Dress and I see brides spend $30000 on Pnina's fairy-princess-stripper gowns with the nipple tassles or whatever, but if they can afford it and they're serving a nice meal with an open bar in a comfortable setting then whatevs.
That said I've seen couples bleed to death from a thousand small, unnecessary expenses. If you pay for BM proposal boxes, StD's, favors, programs, etc and find yourself with no money for the larger things, then financial counseling before getting married is probably a good idea.
Personalized ANYTHINGS (cups, napkins, whatever), favors (unless they are edible and very yummy), programs (unless your ceremony is in a foreign language, and even then, folks will be able to figure out what's going on), buying anything except a dress at a bridal shop (sorry folks, but I do a hell of a lot of internet/amazon shopping and I can damn well guarantee there are identical items to almost everything at any bridal store available online for about half the price, including but not limited to shoes, veils, hairpieces, etc etc etc)
ETA: This is just my opinion, based on experience in my life. If you (or anyone) wants these things, and your/their guests are properly hosted, go for it, it's your money.
I think ornate BM proposals are a waste of money. I totally get wanting to do something fun, but do they really need a necklace, the Bridesmaids movie, a card, and a bottle of wine in a box filled with confetti?
I think planners are sometimes a waste of money. They've become some kind of a status symbol, to have them. Weddings have gone on for centuries without them.
If you have money in your budgets for the odds and ends, fine, but I've been to more than a few weddings that have personalized favors, photo booths, etc., but the food is poor in quality and quantity.