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Candice
Dedicated October 2015

wedding with no reception?

Candice, on September 2, 2010 at 7:40 AM Posted in Planning 2 33
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My fiance and I do not have the money to have a reception and my mom suggested having no reception and just inviting all the people we planned on in the first place. I would also have no registries. What do you guys think? Is that rude?

33 Comments

Latest activity by Charlotte, on January 27, 2022 at 3:02 PM
  • *~* Soon to be Mrs. Murphey *~*
    VIP February 2013
    *~* Soon to be Mrs. Murphey *~* ·
    • Flag

    I wouldnt say rude but it is different. Could you possibly afford like a backyard reception? BBQ and just a good relaxed time? To be honest Id rather skip the ceremony and party! haha

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  • C2ShiningC
    Master April 2011
    C2ShiningC ·
    • Flag

    We debated the same thing but decided against it because ours is a dw and we felt like we owe whomever is able to make it. Maybe you could do your ceremony early enough to have a brunch or a lunch to save money. You could also have a cocktail reception where you only have to serve light appetizers (ie in-between lunch & dinner). I def agree though if you don't have a reception, don't do a registry.

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  • Lauren
    VIP October 2011
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    By doing ours in the morning reception from 11:30 to 4:30 on a sunday, it dropped our cost significantly. more than 2 grand compared to a saturday. if you still can't afford that, i'd say a relaxed backyard bbq or taking everyone to brunch at a local breakfast joint would be fine if that would be more do-able. maybe they'll even let you rent the place for a few hours to have mini morning reception IF you're getting married earlier in the day. It'd still cost but maybe not as much as a normal reception.

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  • Debbie
    Dedicated September 2011
    Debbie ·
    • Flag

    In the olden days they used to have cake and coffee in the church basement after the ceremony. Maybe a variation of this. Good luck.

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  • Lauren
    VIP October 2011
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    But if you really can't afford it, just do the ceremony and hand out some favors as a thank you Smiley smile people will understand. or invite a small number of people and just spend time with them afterwards at someones house or go out with them.

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  • R
    Devoted April 2010
    rubyjem ·
    • Flag

    Really, the reception is a thank you for the guests that take the time to come to your wedding so it's certainly preferable to do something. That being said, it doesn't have to be a huge blowout - a cake and punch reception would be perfectly acceptable (unless you are having a DW wedding and then you really need to have a meal). I have heard a lot of ladies say that they were able to get a nice cake from Walmart or Costco and saved a lot of money that way. You definitely have quite a few options. Good luck!

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  • Kali [Mrs. Able]
    Super September 2010
    Kali [Mrs. Able] ·
    • Flag

    I don't know where you stand along the lines of religion and ceremony, but if you feel more comfortable in a church this may not be for you. But, what me & my FS have decided on from the get-go was a ceremony/reception in one location. The ceremony is being performed by a Justice of the Peace. He says his normal fee is between $75 and $100 & the newlywed's can give anything in those amounts. The ceremony will last about 15 minutes, vows, unity sand and all. And the reception will take place immediately after he pronounces us hubby/wife. I am doing my wedding under $2K to be honest. I did my own flowers, centerpieces, found a cheap site with awesome invites, etc. I even helped my MOH buy things for my shower and am still ringing in under $2,000. My parents are doing food under $200 for approx. 100-130 guests. A friend is giving me my cake as my gift (but you can opt for cupcakes & do it yourself.) A wedding can be really inexpensive & we have paid for ours paycheck by paycheck since

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  • Kali [Mrs. Able]
    Super September 2010
    Kali [Mrs. Able] ·
    • Flag

    July when I started working at Subway. I don't know if you'd really want to miss the reception as you'll miss out on your first official dance as husband and wife, you'll miss out on the cake cutting experience and toasts. Etc. Also other important dances like father/daughter and mother/son. It's completely up to you but I think that if you re-worked your budget and started any DIY projects now, it would come together nicely. TBH, if I had all of the money in the bank when we got engaged, I would have been done with planning and DIY projects within the first 30 days. You can do it. Just don't deprive yourself of something you may regret later. I know some people say have a reception later, but that's not really going to feel the same as if you were to do the reception on your actual wedding day.

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  • Amanda Zulkosky
    Amanda Zulkosky ·
    • Flag

    Like someone said before on this post, back in the day everyone headed down to the church basement and had coffee and cake! The reception is meant to be a thank you to all of the people who shared your day. No where does it say that you have to put yourself in the poor house to celebrate with your loved ones. No matter what you decide just be sure to put in your invite what the "post" ceremony festivities are or are not. At the end of the day, you will be married to your best friend. Congratulations!

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  • *~WiiFeY~*
    Master June 2011
    *~WiiFeY~* ·
    • Flag

    I didn't read any of the other posts, so sorry if I'm repeating..

    FS and I planned on having no reception until his family gave him grief about it. We were going to have the ceremony at the church, and then go to the little greeting entrance area of the church and have cake and punch.. That was it. We were going to have a small table with the cake and have the plates, forks, napkins, etc set up. And then have a table with punch. We planned for everyone to just stand around and mingle, and that way we could talk to and thank our guests for coming. It was perfect for us, and to this day I'm sad we aren't keeping it that simple.. Stupid FIL Smiley sad

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  • wonderful moment
    Master March 2010
    wonderful moment ·
    • Flag

    Some people just have the ceromoney for everyone to come to. And for the recepition they invite only a few people. I also see some people just getting marry at the court house this year and will plan for next year to have a reception.

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  • Shannon S.
    Master March 2011
    Shannon S. ·
    • Flag

    Go old-school and have cake and coffee or punch in the basement of the church, or in your backyard, etc. If you do something in the afternoon (say, 2:00) you don't have to serve a meal. Just make sure the invites say something like "Cake and Punch Reception" so people don't show up hungry.

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  • Patricia
    VIP June 2011
    Patricia ·
    • Flag

    Please don't skip a reception completely!!! Your guest are traveling for your big day, and many will be bringing gifts. How about having a morning ceremony so you could have a tea reception? You'd of course note this on your invitation as "light tea & refreshments to follow" or maybe word it a little better. You could serve muffins, croissants, teas, coffee, etc- pick up cute disposable plates, napkins, tablecloths, etc at Walmart or a party store. That would be super affordable and your guests would appreciate it. You could probably do all that for $150 or less.

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  • Patricia
    VIP June 2011
    Patricia ·
    • Flag

    You could host it in your church's basement or your parents' place, a park, for super cheap.

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  • Amanda
    Expert December 2002
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    I've had friends who had weddings out of state and waited until they came home for a month or 2 to plan a reception or something. My aunt & uncle eloped in Vegas then the next weekend had a big backyard bbq and swim thing

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
    • Flag

    You really have to provide some food for everyone who is invited to the ceremony. However, it can be just cake and punch in the church basement, if you need to save on costs.

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  • Michele
    VIP July 2010
    Michele ·
    • Flag

    In today's world, wedding reception has come to equal big bash party. However, a reception is really simply a social gathering for the purpose of extending a formal welcome. (Webster) With this in mind, greeting your guests at something as simple as a cake and punch/coffee reception is a way to thank them for coming and to officially greet them as a newly married couple. If you do a mid-afternoon wedding/reception, and let people know via the invite, most guests will be fine with this.

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  • Lady Bell S-T-B!!!!
    Devoted October 2010
    Lady Bell S-T-B!!!! ·
    • Flag

    Really and truly you guys might could benefit from doing a registry. It could really help you get items you could need for starting together. If you feel awkward about this because you can't afford the reception, then get someone to make a nice sheet cake, and offer some punch or coffee. For that matter you can have a pot luck kind of thing and for go the whole registry too if you like. When money is tight it is hard for a bride to even think about registering for gifts because your mind set is , "hey they are probably struggling too" "Gifts is not what this is about". Go with your gut and do what feels comfortable to you. Don't let all the this is what you should do cloud what you really CAN do. Those who care about you guys will be happy for you. That is really all that matters!!!! Don't let the $$$'s stress you out or traditional expectations weigh you down!

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  • S
    Just Said Yes August 2012
    Susan ·
    • Flag

    If you cannot afford a reception, that is quite alright. You can get a few friends to prepare enough sandwhiches, baked chicken drummettes, a slice of cake and perhaps a slice of quiche with a glass of punch. You can pre-package these in resealable packages and distribute them to each guest after the ceremony is over. It is best to do your ceremony in the morning and serve your guests after all the events at the ceremony. You don't have to impress anyone. Witnessing the union between you and your husband is the most important thing and your guests shd recognize that.

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  • Kassandra
    Just Said Yes March 2015
    Kassandra ·
    • Flag

    I'm curious to know if you decided on the no reception? my partner and i are in the same situation i have 2 kids from a previous relationship and the eldest has autism so we'd rather put our money to his therapy. I would love to have a reception and have all the usual cake cutting and dances etc but money is a real struggle at the moment and i 'd rather we wer married and in a financial position to have children of our own aswell. only a few of our guests are really travelling any distance so i feel in no way obligated to do anything for them except a thank you gift the wedding is about us getting married and not a free feed for everyone else our guests are family and close friends i feel they really should understand our choice. We would probably have cake and coffee in the church and hand out thank you gifts but that's about it.

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