Wedding starts at five, should I tell guests it starts at 4:30?

I think you should be honest about what time it starts. In my family and circle, it is customary to get to the wedding 15 minutes early, so weddings that are running late are noticed (even if I didn't know it was late).

Also, check with your venue, will guests be able to be seated early? Mine asks guests only come 10-15 minutes early, if the came earlier they will still be setting up.

I agree, at least in my family we always try to get there 15 minutes early like Future mentioned..Also, if everyone thought the time was changing (but it wasn't) then they'd think you are starting late..so if you put it starts at 4:30 , the conscientious guests will get there at 4:15, then end up waiting 45 minutes and you'll have some unhappy guests on your hands..Brian is right, just warn them and hopefully they will be smart about it. Good luck! :-)

Brian - It's been a while since I've been on. Happy to see you're still here!

Future KH - My clan isn't too savy when it comes to staying on schedule. :o) You've got a great point with how far out the venue will allow people to be seated.

Ab Z. - Agreed! I wouldn't be happy if I had to wait 45 min. either! (Didn't even think of that!)

Thanks to all three of you for the feedback!

I would also state the true time. One of the things guests hate is a wedding that doesn't start on time (Andrene posted a link about top 5 guests complaints) So warn them about traffic but don't tell them it starts earlier than you intend. You will get unnecessary kick back.

I'm planning on stating a that the ceremony starts at 5 (it's really 5:30) most of my family doesn't bother looking at clocks so if they think their runnig late the will be on time lol

It sounds like no matter how you do it, somebody will be late. If you state an earlier time, then You will be the one who is late (from their perspective). If they arrive late, then they stand to miss the ceremony. There is nothing you can do about that.

I suggest you give multiple advisories about leaving early to be sure not to miss the event due to traffic. At that point, it becomes your guests' responsibility to be there on time.

I will be putting the correct time but I will be getting there 15 minutes late.....If they don't show up on time it is there fault.......I went to my cousins wedding and most of the guest showed up to the church late when it was almost over

Having been a guest at a wedding this summer that started late, as a guest it upset me that I took my time and got there 20 min early, to make sure I took traffic into account, then felt like we were just left there. I waited about 45 min for the service to start. Everyone was grumbling about it. Since then I have talked to the bride, and every thing she has planned people are arriving late and letting her know they figured she runs late so they didn't want to be too early. (her aunt actually scolded her in the receiving line on just how rude a young woman she was - I thought that was a bit harsh) I guess what I am saying is, though this day is about you marrying your lfe partner, you should treat your guests as adults and let them be responsible for thier own actions. Good Luck - I know how traffic can be much worse then people expect when they are out of town.

If your guests don't blame the bride for starting "late" they will blame your vendors which isn't fair to them.

I just read David Tutera's book The Big White Book of Weddings and he says you should always put a half hour before the ceremony will start to allow guest plenty of time to find seats and get settled as well as allow time for late comers. I plan on doing this because I am also having my wedding on a Friday night and need to think about rush hour traffic. Plus, every wedding I went to I never notice any long wait because you always are saying hi to other guest and talking before actually sitting down for the ceremony.

My wedding is a Friday night and over half over the guests are OOTers. I put on the invitation starts at 5:00 but on the wedding website I wrote, "Doors open at 5, ceremony commences at 5:30, followed by dinner and dancing." I also put underneath that. Please allow time for travel.

I agree with those that say to give the accurate start time. Also, travel advice is much appreciated!

I am NEVER late to anything. I missed an entire wedding once - I had traveled into town, my friend and I gave ourselves nearly 2 hours to travel less than 20 miles to the ceremony site. We thought we'd be set, but we didn't have good directions and traffic on some roads was awful! At the reception people kept saying "Oh, did you take X road? Yeah, that's the worst, you should have taken Y". It felt awful and was really sad to have traveled all that way to not only be the rude guests who show up late, but we missed the most important part!

I would go with the proper time, and just post the traffic issues on your website.

Re David Tutera's ideas....his plan would not work if the ceremony was in a Catholic Church. Often times, Nuptial Masses that are scheduled on Saturdays are run back to back and need to be finished before Saturday evening Mass. A Nuptial Mass, from entrance to exit, can go for 45-50 minutes or even more depending on the size of your wedding party and how long winded your priest is. I think David's wrong on this one!

I would put the correct time. Most people will build in some "extra" time for traffic, emergencies, etc. I like the idea of arriving a few minutes late (10-15) to allow for some settling in/slow traffic time also.

Honestly if they care about you they will make sure they are there on time. I would remind them/ put on the website notes about travel times. I would be beyond annoyed to make sure I got there on time only to find out nothing was happening for at least another 30 minutes.

I agree with Carole, I think David is definitely wrong on this one. I would be insulted as a guest if I found out a bride told me that her wedding started 30 minutes earlier than it was actually scheduled to because she thought I (and the other guests) would be late...then it just makes you, the bride, or your vendors look disrespectful.

Ianthe, welcome back! I wouldn't put a false start time on my invitations, but I *would* let my guests know they should anticipate heavy traffic.

EDubbs: Wow, can't believe you remembered that post. Posting again for those who didn't have a chance to read:

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/the-most-common-wedding-guest-complaints/59cc92040dba9630.html

For my own wedding I will advise the planner to bolt the door once the procession starts as I don't want anyone walking in and disrupting us during the ceremony. It's only about 15-20 minutes as is so would like every minute to be focused on the reason we are there (and not on the entry of late arrivals).

Andrene, I wish I could bolt the door, but most of my ceremonies are on the beach. And it does irritate me when guests stroll in as the ceremony is ending. I never know if the B&G notice the late arrivals, but I do.

Erica l. I with you on that one! I would put the correct time down on the invitation. Execpt I would tell my family members that I know like to show up late... especially my mom that it stars early. My wedding ceremony will onl,y be 30 minutes long, I cant have my mom show up 20 minutes late!! Also my ceremony is on 11/11/11 in Vegas and my venue is jam packed for that day, they are bolting the doors so people don't barge into the wrong wedding or disrupt the videography.

I would make sure to verbally warn people you are worried about. I had to sign a contract relating to time and under contract I am obligated to let evryone know they cannot be more that a few minutes late but also if they are too early they will be in the way of other services during that day.

I think it all depends on your guests. If they are usually on time or early i would put the correct time and warn them bout the traffic. If they are usually late to everything, like my family, I would put an earlier start time. I've been to about 20 weddings in my life but i cant remember one that actually started at the time stated on the invite. That being said, dont make your guests wait too long. A half hour is ok but longer than that would be annoying....