Wedding "Shade"...

My wedding ended up fine, but I did get some "shade" prior to the day from older guests who thought we HAD to have certain things. Cake, bridal party, plated dinner, or a bigger guest list.

ETA: definitely wedding "colors" too! I had almost every single woman at the wedding want to match themselves to my "colors" and I didn't really have any.

We didn't get serious shade for it, but a lot of people think we are crazy for going to Disney World on our honeymoon. But its what we like, we will have a good mixture of relaxation and fun. We could honestly not even step foot into one of the actual theme parks and still have so much to do.

The size of my guest list, and the fact I'm inviting very little of my family. But I decided that if I don't talk to you on a regular basis I am not going to ask you to sit through my wedding when I'm only going to talk to you for maybe five-ten minutes throughout the night when they presumably spent money traveling and getting a gift (although not expected but most likely a given)

Walking myself down the aisle. Having a small DW instead of a huge wedding at home - FMIL still isn't over that. Not inviting people that I've never even heard of until we started talking guest list.

Like Jo said, people will throw shade just to throw shade.

I get shade for a number of reasons, but the top three are:

1. My e-ring is a London blue topaz, that I absolutely LOVE!!! Everyone else doesn't understand why he didn't get me a diamond, despite my constant reiteration that I personally hate diamonds (no shade to anyone here, just not for me)

2. My wedding is a DW on a Wednesday. Our date is very special to us and we refuse to change it to a weekend for convenience, this is why we are giving over a year and a half notice (save the dates go out next month)

3. I don't like my cousin. She won't be in the bridal party. Everyone's panties are in a bunch.

At this point I have an early onset of the IDGAFs, so this should be a fun year and a half...Lol

I danced with both my dad and stepdad. My dad was not happy about that and threw "shade" throughout his side of the family. And, I had a small guest list. Some old friends got offended that they weren't invited, regardless of the fact that we haven't spoken or seen one another in several years.

All in all, none of it effected our day. We got rid of a few toxic people and our friends lists on FB got smaller, but that needed to happen anyway. My dad got over his pity party and all is well on that front too. You can't please everyone.

1) For having a blue diamond. People throw shade when they think it's a sapphire.

2) 21+ reception (with the exception of my 4 nieces and nephews who are in the BP)

3) Not inviting all of my cousins (most of whom I haven't seen in years and I'm not close with because they're older and they live on the opposite coast)

Bailey- same, my catholic family was not too happy about us having a non religious ceremony.

Haha definitely the Sunday wedding thing. The only thing people are saying to me is what if people want to get drunk? And my response is well they will be smart and use the 2 plus months I gave them with the invitation to take that Monday off.

My mom was like why aren't you having r wedding in a church? I said for 1 i dont want to and because my wedding is on a Sunday.

Then people was complaining about a Sunday wedding...welp don't come (i said that in my head tho)

People kill me u have so much to say but yet don't put a $1 into it...

@STB Mrs H totally missed your sunrise wedding, it's gonna be beautiful!

@MrsG2B Glad to hear you stood your ground about your cousin! In one ear and out the other will be your new motto =)

The only shade we have gotten has been from my mother. Highlights being-

You're not getting married in a church?

You're spending HOW much on (insert anything non traditional here)?

What do you mean you don't want flowers?

You aren't putting your father and my name on your invitations (they aren't paying)?

I can't walk you down the aisle with your dad?

You want a huge inflatable waterslide and beer pong at your rehearsal dinner?

Don't get me wrong, I love my mama, but she is crazy traditional. So this is all a bit much for her.

I'm feeling way better about our non religious ceremony now. I was feeling like the worst daughter in the world bc it's crushing my very Catholic parents. Just good to know others are in the same boat. As far as shade, the religion thing comes up every. single. time. wedding talk comes up with my parents. Oh and then fact that my guest list is 30 and not 350 like my brothers

We have gotten shade and side eye for so many things.

My ring for one because it wasn't one single diamond. It's a infinity with diamonds in the infinity. Apparently, people didn't know we were engaged when we announced on social media because it's not a real engagement ring

My aunt bashes the first look idea every single time it's brought up. I no longer mention any wedding details. My dad wasn't thrilled at first but once I educated him, he was perfectly okay.

My choice of flowers got shade, but my parents paid for them and I had a budget I needed to stick to while including everyone and everything. I made it work with my florist so whatever.

FH taking my last name has been a point of tension for some as well. It's our family. It's the name we want our children to have. It's the family we are connected too.

I come from a religious family, and I am a pretty religious person myself. In fact, I have been going to the same church since I was 5 and I work there watching the children during services. So Both my family and all our church friends are shocked that we are going to have a "destination" wedding (Only an hour away, but people are treating it as if its on the moon.) But all the venues by my house are just too expensive for my budget, and the ceremony location is in this beautiful rose garden. I knew it was for my when I first walked in and the smell took me back to my Grandparents garden who passed away a few years ago. And our church is awkwardly set up for a wedding, there is not a clear path to walk down. I just felt this is the best option for me. We are still having our pastor do the ceremony and we are doing a unity cross. Rant over....

I've gotten a lot of shade from my sis about the price tag on different things/vendors we've decided on. She got married 10 years ago on a much smaller budget...her choice. And this is mine. I take it with a grain of salt though. Different strokes for different folks.

I'm surprised at how many of us are getting flack for having an adults only wedding!

I'm sure people have given shade behind my back over my ring (onyx with the tiniest 2 diamonds so it's 99% black.) My mom is giving me shade cause we're not getting married in a church. Not because she's overly religious, but because it would "be free'. -_-

Having a DW, having it on a Friday, and not inviting everyone I know to our small DW

We're only in beginning stages but I'm already getting "shade" for 1- no church wedding (FH and I are the furthest thing from religious) and 2- that we are considering a DW (mind you itd be driving distance say 4 hours from home and they'd get literally 2 years notice) bc *gasp* what are they going to do with their dogs!?!?!?

I am literally floored people are actually saying that to me. And by people I mean my closest family....

ETA: some of the people worrying about it don't have friendly dogs - not.my.problem.