Wedding "Shade"...

The only thing I can think of was that when my MOH/BMs were scheduling my bridal shower, I had requested that it be on a Saturday because I have to travel for it (I live in DC, my shower is in Boston). My SIL thought I was AWFUL because my shower wouldn't be held on a Sunday... So silly.

Other than that, the rest of my wedding is probably pretty traditional! My family was surprised that I'm only doing a ceremony, and not a full Catholic mass. We're still getting married in the church, but I didn't want to have my 200 guests sit through an hour long mass = )

My parents are very religious (my future in laws too), so we decided to get a DJ (because duhh, no DJ = no music = boring = guest leaving way to early) anyway we getting a bit of "shade" from my parents and inlaws. Other than that, they have agreed and love all out ideas.!

From some older relatives because I'm wearing white...

Because I'm not inviting all 1000+ relatives

I have to question who the hell you are around that thinks that is scandalous.

I was 100% against it too. I know some women really want that moment with their fathers but my father and I don't have that kind of relationship and the feminist in me takes issue with it.

I got some slight shade for not changing my name. And I think we will def get some shade when his Catholic fam figures out we are doing a secular ceremony. So, that should be fun.

I am getting hell because I am having a tiny ceremony and a big reception - sorry I cant have all you people starring at me for 20 min - I will die.

My mom nearly had a heart attack when I told her our ceremony was not going to be religious. She went "Okay, but throw a little God in there for me?" Nope. Sorry, mom. I'm getting married. Not you.

Originally we discussed doing a small DW then a big family reception back home. We quickly nixed the reception back home because neither of us really wanted it. We'd rather spend our money on a really nice wedding and reception for our close family and friends that we care about instead of a bunch of extended family we hardly know. When FMIL got wind of this it didn't go over well. She started planning her own reception for us so she could invite her friends and have her moment. Uhhh no.

For a Sunday wedding! People called my mom to make sure it wasn't a typo on the invite. An uncle of mine said "no Mexican would have a Sunday wedding ". It was a lovely Sunday wedding!

Preach @LoveInDC! Same with my mom. I said, "the word God will not be uttered during my ceremony." She's coming to terms with it but Aunt Faye still hasn't gotten over my cousins wedding with no mention of God over a year ago: "how do you make a marriage work without Jesus?" Lmaooooo

Oh and how could I forget! FFIL's SIL was "taken aback" by our adult only wedding. In her words: "I thought a wedding was supposed to be about family." My bad. Didn't realize that your 4 middle-school-aged boys who FH doesn't even know the names of make or break the "family" aspect of our wedding. My own nephew isn't coming and I haven't even met you, so deal or don't come. /rant

Oh, I know I'm gonna get some shade from my not-at-all-religious father for having a not-at-all-religious ceremony. At my little brother's wedding, he spent the entire 20 minute drive to the reception complaining about how there's no point of having a wedding if God isn't going to be there.

Dude, you haven't been to a church in 20 years and never talk about God unless it's in reference to the constitution. Calm your junk.

I get shade because my engagement ring is a yellow diamond. You wouldn't believe how offended people are that it isn't a "traditional" diamond.

People shouldn't voice their opinions about things that don't impact them. Do you on the walking down the aisle thing. That is 100% your decision and yours alone.

People will throw shade for any reason. If you're convinced it's right for you. Stick to your guns.... Although.im the girl with the black dress. So. Take my opinion with a hefty dose of sodium.

Oh I got "shade" for a few things.

The first was that I refuse to do a dollar dance. Apparently that has been done at every single wedding on FH's side. No thank you!

The second was from my grandmother when she found out that our ceremony will be outdoors in a garden/ranch. Apparently that is horrendously against God and we can only get married in a church. We are not religious ourselves, so we really don't care so long as we get married.

The last one I got was for my decision to not do the bouquet toss or garter toss.

No dollar dance, not inviting every person we may possibly be related to "even though they probably won't come anyway," not letting my sister have her way on shoes, having it in January, and not being married and pregnant fresh out of high school. You take your bad self down that aisle, OP, and Jo, your black dress is going to look awesome!

Not getting married in church of all things. We aren't Catholic so it's not because of that. No bouquet or garter toss... there's only on couple not married what is the point? Not having either father walk me down the aisle. Im just trying to ignore it all. People will always find something they disagree with.

So far all the details are slowly seeping out to certain family members because I know I'm going to get "shade" for quite a few things and have already.

1) FH and I getting AT ALL. For some reason whenever a certain FGMIL asks about it it's always with the tone of it being bad we're getting married...like, she sits down at the table and in front of both our parents and other family members just blurts "I've got a bone to pick with you! I heard by this Christmas ya'll will be married!" I tell her she's mistaken and she literally wipes her forehead with relief....like, wtf? Why would it matter? Ugh.

2) Not wearing a white dress. It's also more body hugging, which is side eyed a bit in my family.

3) Not getting married in the Catholic church, or any church. And not being married by a religious leader. It'll still be a non-denominational Christian ceremony, but not conducted by an actual church leader.

4) We're anticipating a larger BP. I know there are some people in my family would might care enough to comment.

There are other things I'm sure but I can't remember them off the top of my head lol. ETA: Oh, we're having adult only 21+ with the exception of the WP and not inviting every single cousin in existence. Those are the other things lol, I'm already having talk back and side eye about those.

I am not having a bridal party or having my dad walk me down either. We are close but me and FH have decided it is our day and truly want to focus on us! So far it has been wonderful not having a BP reading all the drama everyone else is having with theirs! Ijs

We got shade for my engagement ring (a certain toxic person I've mentioned on here before said it was nice but when she gets engaged, she wants to be sure the guy invests in her.... Gag. She obviously doesn't understand what an engagement ring means). We also got shade for having a private ceremony, which we did for my mom. Some people were offended they weren't invited to a family-only ceremony. Well, family only with the exception of my closest girlfriend and my mom's closest girlfriends. The person who was offended: my best friend's MIL.