Wedding "Shade"...

Not having kids at the wedding got me some "shade"... Who wants to watch their kids around a bunch of drunk adults at night?!

I haven't told my mother we're having a completely non-religious ceremony. I'm sure when it's all said and done I'll be hearing about it. And pretty much everything I discuss with my girlfriend she has something negative to say about the wedding... So I'm doing what FH and I want and letting everyone else's opinions go in one ear and out the other!

1. Having a sunrise ceremony on the beach

2. no bridal party

@Minerva strut down the aisle by yourself if you want to! I got some shade for my wedding colors being purple, black, and white. In my head I told my dads gf bish shut the fuck up! Lol I could careless what people don't want me to have at my wedding.

Having a Friday wedding. My mom keeps saying people have to work. Ok but people work on Saturdays too!

1. As happy as everyone is for us, family wasn't exactly thrilled about our decision to have a destination wedding in TN (we're from South Fl.) mostly because they know probably only half of our guest list will be able to make it.

2. I also get side eyed for not allow my parents and grandparents to invite every single person they know. I only want guests who I feel will be there to genuinely celebrate our union and who are happy for us- not there to criticize our decisions. Plus, FH and I are paying for everything ourselves. "It's my party and I'll invite who I want to." As is, we already have 115 on the guest list and I only wanted 50 there. They could easily crank it up to 200 if I let them.

ETA: I get shade for not having a human flower girl (my dogs will be my flower girls.) As cute as flower girls are, there aren't any little girls in the family that either of us are close to. My mom just want to ask a friend of hers, or a distant cousin, but that feels fake to me. No flower girls, my furbabies are more important (and cuter, if you ask me.)

I got the most shade from my SIL and her husband. Every time someone asked about how wedding planning was coming one of the two would always comment that they had a small wedding because they "paid" for the wedding themselves. Two things here # 1 DH and I paid for our wedding ourselves as well, we just had better jobs so more money and #2 My FIL gave them $5000, they chose to spend the money on other things and just do a ceremony with cake and punch (of course they got the money after the fact because no one in the family was aware they were getting married until about an hour before the ceremony when they finally called everyone to invite them).

Aside from that, the shade came after the wedding and from one specific bridesmaid. First she didn't like the date we chose (it was picked because it was closest to the anniversary of the day we met) and later I found out she was complaining to my MOH/sister that she didn't think it was right that we had a "do not play" list for the DJ. The funny thing is that if she was going to complain my sister was the worst person to say something to. My sister told her that considering the amount of money we were spending, if there were artists/songs we didn't want played that was our choice and that I wasn't to be given a hard time over any decisions before the wedding, if something must be said it should wait until after the wedding. Yep, I didn't hear much complaining and only heard about the 2 items about 6 months after the wedding.

Yup! Got some shade for not having kids at the wedding, it being destination, my ring, and the list goes on. When you shine brighter than the sun the shade shouldn't bother you much. Keep you head up, and do what you feel best. That's all!

1) I'm wearing a white dress sprinkled with golden fabric glitter and a golden sash. Big disappointment to my FMIL.

2) I'm not changing my last name and my FILs are SO soso sososossooo offended I don't want their last name. Um.. get over it? I like my last name fine as it is. Thank you.

3) I am a chubby bride. I have been chubby most of my life and I had zero intentions of changing that for the wedding. My mother called me a whale in a dress. She said my pictures will look awful. Okay, thanks. Bye.

4) Fiancee and I will spend the day before and during getting dressed together and with our court. I don't wan to be separated and neither does fiancee. Mother is super disappointing.

5) My finacee and I will adorn matching titanium gold plated wedding rings. We are young and we are growing, I do not want a $1,000 diamond wedding ring. We do not have that money and that is okay.

tldr: im basically the worst most not bride bride ever, according to some.

FMIL has a problem with:

-my lack of religion

-our child-free wedding

-the wedding being in MD, even though most guests/family live there

Let's not mention that I dyed my hair an ultra bright purple today, and plan on adding pink tomorrow. She just might lose it.

Some don't agree with my ADULT ONLY wedding/reception! Oh well MY DAY. ...MY WAY! (Smile)

I would love to walk myself down the aisle. My dad walked out when I was a kid. My mom wasn't much of a mom, she worked overseas from the time I was 15 until I was 21 and I saw her maybe 3 times a year for a week visit, and even today she works in the states but is gone weeks at a time. I lived with my step dad during high school but he stayed out partying a lot and was not home a lot of the time. And he and my mom got divorced also a few years ago.

I feel like I raised myself sometimes. I'm my own person and I want to give myself to my FH. But I don't have a backbone... And my ex-step dad would throw a dramatic hissy fit if I didn't let him. So I will push through it, but me and my FH both know my situation.

We didn't get married in a church, which was a huge issue with MIL. We also didn't invite either of my parents which earned us a few looks from the families.

Details of our wedding aren't out just yet but I know we're going to catch some major shade from his family for having an adult wedding. He's Mexican so that's going to be a HUGE problem but we don't want to be tripping over a bunch of kids and running into them all over the place. Well, there will be some exceptions to this because sure his whole side is local so they can find sitters but my entire family will be flying in from outta state which means no one will be left to watch their kids. And Im not a parent but I know if I were a parent I would never leave my child to fly out of state for a wedding. And I know for sure we'll catch alotta grief for this but it was his idea and plus if we let everyone bring their kids, that would be an additional 25-30. Which means we would have to cut 25-30 friends from our guest list just so people can bring their kids! Sooo... Yea lol

Oh and I know his side is going to judge that were not going to do a lot of their traditional reception things (carrying the groom in the laying down position while the funeral procession song is playing & then tossing him in the air, bride/groom standing on chair thing or the sweeping dance) but Idc. I'm sooo not having those at my wedding. They can judge all they want. And my side will probably judge if we have the dollar dance and when we play the Spanish Spanish music or if we have a mariachi band.

1) I'm the first in my family to not have a Catholic wedding. My FH and I aren't religious, so we're having a non-denominational ceremony, short and sweet.

2) No big bridal party. Just my MOH and FH's BM.

3) No cake. Pies instead.

4) No dollar dance. Mom says my family will "expect it." I refuse. Instead, we'll find a way for the kids to line up and dance with each one of us if they want, but it won't cost anything to do so.

5) Our first look. This one surprised me, but so many people seem shocked that we want to see each other before our ceremony.

6) England/Ireland Honeymoon. Not really shade on this one, but people seem shocked we don't want to go a beach.

Bottom line: I'm a 30 year old bride, so I've had time to think about what I want, which is fun and laid back. If it's not worth the stress to me, it doesn't make the cut.

Being older with not much close family, I thought I would be able to plan my wedding the way I wanted. Silly, silly me!

I've been criticized for Friday wedding, late time, location, choice of bridal party and MOH, and of course, guest list. Just rsvp NO then! Sigh...

I'm getting some shade for not having my father walk me down the aisle. No disrespect to anyone who does that tradition, but I personally feel that it's just not for me - I don't like the idea of being given away as property. I'm entering this marriage as an older, independent woman, and my father has no bearing on my entering into it.

I've also gotten shade for changing my name because I'm an older bride. This has come from my coworker(s), who apparently think that I'm too old to justify changing my name (I'm 37).

Also getting a few questions (not really shade, just curiosity) about the fact that we're not doing a dance - just board games and mingling. A party, not a dance.

@Val you said it! I'm the oldest of my gen. and everyone is already aghast I've made it to my age without reproducing. (Eye roll as I'm only 27) I don't care what everyone else thinks, and have to say your wedding pie sounds delicious!

Not picking colors seems to be blowing everyones mind, not in a good way. Not picking bridesmaids dresses and letting them wear whatever they want. FMIL "isn't sure" about our cake topper, whatever that means, lol.