Wedding Party paying for Rehearsal Dinner?

I'm almost speechless. I think my response would have been, "This is a joke, right?.....right?"

I understand that she is your friend and that you want to be there for her, but I still don’t think you should meet the “demands”. I had a friend who completely changed while she was planning her wedding and considered ending the friendship because of it. In the end I went to the ceremony (I wasn’t in the BP), but skipped the reception. She eventually reached out to me asked if there was something going on, and I gave her an honest answer. We hashed it out, and since then she’s back to the way she was before the wedding. I think your friend is in La La Land planning her dream wedding, and if no one says anything there will be resentment that may or may not permanently alter her friendships.

I've never heard of the wedding party paying for the rehearsal dinner! I would tell them that isn't in your budget.

Lol it my BM hosted my rehearsal dinner we would be eating the $5 chicken nugget box at McDonalds.

I agree with PP. don't pay for all that nonsense!

You can absolutely say no to helping pay for all of these events! You should always be asked and consulted to see if you are ok with these additional hosting duties, it shouldn't be assumed or demanded.

I'd respond to just the MOH and tell her what you are happy to help host, or what you are willing to contribute. Whether that's saying "I'm happy to pay my share of the bridal shower and bachelorette expenses, but do not feel comfortable contributing to the additional spa day or hosting costs for the rehearsal dinner", or letting the MOH know the total dollar amount you can contribute and letting her prioritize it how she wants. I'd definitely address this right away!

Damn if only i knew i could have made my bridesmaids pay for the rehearsal dinner... come on now bridesmaids spend enough money. i would ask the bride what she wants and talk to her about the situation

Hell fucking no to any of this

Hahaha @Kate read my mind. I bet that's exactly what she's going to do! Probably won't even read them.

Fuck social media. Really. Treating your friends like shit so you can look good to people you don't even know?

That is ridiculous.

OMG this letter business?

THIS IS SO EXTRA!!!!

I'm sorry, but based on that update, it seems like she views the people in her life more as props than actual friends. It seems like she cares more about having the picture-perfect life to online strangers than how she treats the real people in her real life.

Wooooow how rude. No it isn't a thing

Definitely not for the rehearsal or spa night before

I saw the title of this post and thought WTF? No friggin WAY. Tell her you will only participate in what you can afford.

It seem like there trying to pocket there money and the bridal party money i think not.

I've read all of the comments and your updates. Hell no to all of this.

Tell the MOH that you are on your HONEYMOON FFS and you will not do this "assignment." And set boundaries with your budget. "I will contribute X to X, but I cannot commit to more than that."

I hope your friend is just being possessed by temporary newly engaged/wedding insanity (as we all were, on some level, even if not to this extent!) and that she calms down.

Hopefully she will take it alright, but I'm going to decline to contribute to the RD and the night of spa/hotel stay.

I'll do the stupid letter, but it will be WELL after my wedding, as I don't have time to worry about hers until mine is over (crunch time!)/

Thank you all for the help. I thought I was right to feel icky about this!

@SageTree, I think that's a good compromise. Now just wait and see how she responds. Focus on YOUR wedding and enjoying this experience.

Just, eww

That seems like an awful lot. Not okay! Bridal shower at most...