Wedding or House? (Venting)

I bought my house when I was 22. Although I was with my FH then, he had no part in buying it. I'm now 25 and we are now getting married. For me it was more important to get the house which we saw as an investment. However, I bought a house because it was the right situation for me. When you are ready, then you will know.

Yall are making me feel so much better. I do understand that a house is big investment for our future BUT we're in a situation where we either have to find a place to rent or buy a house. I know they are programs out there that will cover down payment & closing costs but I'm not tryna rush into it. A wedding however isn't a big commitment. Yea it's alot of money but we can always cancel, change or downgrade the wedding. You can't really change your mortgage payments.

Renting isn't always throwing money away. It depends on a lot of factors, and also on whether you're going to stay in one place for ~10+ years or not. In some cases, it's better to put what would've been a down payment into savings. Buying a house should be something you do because you want to own a house, not just as an investment strategy.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/upshot/buy-rent-calculator.html?_r=0

Yes, buying is a good investment but it's not always black and white for every couple. The main thing keeping us from buying right now is the fact that we're not sure where we're going to be in the next few years. If you know you're going to be in the area for a good deal of time, then I see no need to wait to buy. FH is in grad school and he's thinking about moving to pursue his Ph.D. I have zero intentions on staying with my company for another year and I'm willing to consider moving to find the right job with the right company. Those factors mean that buying would be a dumb decision for us right now...if we move in the next few years, we'd be tanked in negative equity. You have to keep those things in mind. If you're this nervous about buying, then rent for another year and take your sweet time searching for the right place. Don't feel pressured to buy if it doesn't sit well with you right now.

FH and I are looking into buying a house. And will also be paying for our wedding. We decided to have a significantly smaller wedding than what we originally planned! Guest cut is going to help a lot. We are having the closest friend and family, at a little old school house in town! You and FH will have to compromise, but I think y'all can make anything happen! Good luck, doll!

1. You don't need a big down payment. $3,000 is enough if you have a good broker. 2. A house is more important 3. You can push your wedding back until you can afford the wedding you want.

Think how will your monetary decision effect you in three months? Three years? Six years?...

Yeah your house will cost more I had 800 Sq apartment my bills totaled 900 for everything. House we are easily at 2000 a month granted we are splitting it. But it is totally worth it.

I wish I had a smaller wedding so that I could have used some of that money towards a down payment. Weddings are important, but a house is more important.

ETA: You can look into FHA loans which only require 3.5% down, but those comes with their own sets of risks too.

I understand where you are coming from. My FH and I HATE wasting money on rent, especially since our mortgage would be lower than what we pay for rent now. We really want a house. But we've decided to move into a smaller, cheaper apartment for the next year and save as much money as possible. And then buy a house after the wedding. But also a side note, we don't know where we want to live yet so we really shouldn't be buying a house, haha.

As a homeowner for the last 13 years, I would say wait on buying a house. Renting is not throwing money away, it can be more of a savings. Before owning my home, my utility bills were less (smaller place), I didn't have to pay to have my yard maintained or do it myself (buying lawnmower, trimmer, tools,etc), when the something major broke (fridge, hot water heater, etc) I did not have to deal with the cost to repair. If I could go back to renting, I would in a heartbeat. Even when you think you will not have to put more money into a house after the down payment, life has a way of proving you wrong. That being said, your wedding is, yes, one day, but you want it to be the most memorable day of your life! You don't want to look back years from now and regret not making it a magical day for yourself and your FH.

Let's put it this way, HOUSE is more important than WEDDING.

A wedding is one day and a formality of a party to celebrate the two of you. A house/home is the place you will be together forever and it your own space day in and day out.

Also, you want your wedding to be perfect then you should also increase your budget, reduce your guest count or save up more. Sometimes it is best to wait and save and have a great wedding. This may mean to have a home first and then have a wedding later. being married sooner really isn't a huge deal except you have a higher chance to celebrate your 50th anniversary haha

Oh and NEVER buy a house you are not in love with. Buying a house costs a ton of money so make sure it is done right. You can rent and save, nothing wrong with that but maybe your goal after renewing your lease is to find a home to buy instead of planning a wedding.

Do what you want. Your pockets are nobody else's business.

Coming not only from the perspective from someone who has been married and has owned two houses, I say house. As much as a marriage is an emotional commitment, a wedding is a one day party. And it breaks my heart when you all spend to much money, time, money, money, money, and emotion to make everything happen as perfectly as you dreamed of only to have so many people say in retrospect, "well, all these things went wrong" or "no one showed up" or "I'm chasing RSVP's around, but all that matters at the end of the day is that I'm married to the one I love". Maybe that's a mantra that more people should adopt before they spent thousands on a party for a group of people with varying degrees of enthusiasm for being as someone's wedding. I hear the stories from my own couples. I watch it from the side; latecomers, people on cell phones during and after the ceremony, leaving early; simply making their own parties while you thought they were the people you couldn't celebrate without. (Of course this is a blanket statement that does not apply to everyone, but it is very often the situation....) They could be anywhere, but you've picked up the tab. And at the end, yep, you're married to him or her and thousands of dollars lighter. (And lest anyone think they will 'make it back' on wedding gifts, forget about that. It's an irrational formula.....)

Some of the most memorable weddings I've ever witnessed (and you know what I'm going to say next....) are small, sweet, intimate and less expensive. Many times this is truly compatible with the couple's style; many times it is simply because those couples have life goals that don't include bankrolling a giant party with dollars that really could be used more productively somewhere else, somewhere tangible. The wedding does not make the marriage. Only you can make the decision, but realism is a lovely gift of knowledge. You can have a lovely, small wedding for 2000.00 with people who actually want to be there with you.

Home ownership is never a walk in the park; I've done it twice. When I got divorced, I bought the smallest house in my area (it's 832 square feet including a greenhouse) because it was literally cheaper than renting a shit hole over a nail salon. Granted, it's a semi shithole, but it's my shithole. I've dumped money into it when I had to (I'll spare you the ugly story of the 15.00 Ikea bathroom light that turned into a 15,000 renovation including asbestos removal) and now, simply through inflation and luck, it's worth four times what it was to begin with. As probably a teardown, lol.....but it's equity and tax deductions and every day is a lesson in nails, spackle and grass seed. It's like a theme park without a water slide...(well, usually, lol)

Home ownership is never easy, but I can tell you it's a great test of a marriage and a great bonding agent. On the flip side, yes, you can buy a house with little down, but you'll pay PMI (private mortgage insurance) and you really do have to make sure you don't max out your budget and buy the biggest house you think you can afford, because it always costs more.

Moving is never without more bills either.......unless your stuff fits perfectly and you don't need to paint, buy rugs or anything else. And then there is moving, a despicable job that involves either pros or well bribed family members and rental trucks. Yeah, you do need them to move to a house too, but it's different....

I'd try on some different scenarios, financial and emotional, but be open to other possibilities with other outcomes.

Home or party.........Hmmm.......no contest there. Yes things break in your home, but now a days you can get home warranties. We have full home warranty which even covers the pool, and it is only $600 a year. I have even told my kids that when they move out they need to just buy a starter home and never rent. We rented for YEARS and when my first husband and I finally grew brains and bought a house out mortgage payment was actually $250 LESS than the rent we were paying and our home was 2 times the size of the rental. Yes a wedding is nice, but it is FAR from a necessity. My first marriage we went off to the courthouse, $35.00 and married. We were 18 & 19 years old, far from even smart enough to know better. The second time, DH and I had a small intimate wedding, only 40 people and spent nearly $25,000. Both weddings were equally fabulous. In my opinion, if you NEED the flashy party to have a "day you will remember", your kinda not focusing on the marriage, and focusing only on the party. Also-honestly if the choice of "party or down payment on a house" is even a question, you need to not even be planning a party, and putting serious cash into the emergency fund. Your emergency fund should be about 6-9 months of living expenses. DH and I have 1 year of each our salaries in our emergency fund. Going to the courthouse makes you just as married as spending thousands on a fancy party.

LMAO @Brittany $3k is not enough unless you are buying a studio condo in the middle of a corn field in Kansas. Location, location, location people.

We are doing the wedding first. We live in NYC and a DECENT home for us would cost over $600k, and I refuse to settle. Right now my half of the rent is ridiculously low - I'm not giving that up just to call myself a homeowner.

Right now our wedding is a priority FOR US. Quite honestly, I'm not sure if I ever want to own a home - at least not in NYC. I would prefer to buy a home in ATL or even close by in NJ. But I'm not interested in losing my salary.

I'm in the same boat. We have been saving for a house with not thoughts of ever getting married. We are paying for our wedding out of pocket and not using any savings. At the end of the day, a house is way more important to us than a $10,000 wedding would ever be. It's true that you only have to put 3% on an FHA loan but you will be paying a hefty mortgage insurance payment until you reach the 20%. ETA: it doesn't matter if you're ready to move still save the money for when you are. We aren't looking at houses until after the wedding which will give us time to save up even more money and not have to handle the stress of buying a house and planning a wedding.

We plan on buying a house about a year after our wedding (that is when our current lease is up). A house is definitely more important, which is why we're very strict with our budget for the wedding. A home for us is way more important than one night.

A house is a huge responsibility. Yes, it is probably better in the long run and a more responsible use of money. That being said, you are smart to not jump into homeownership just because your lease is up. Buying a house is stressful and a huge financial decision. You don't want to settle on a house and find out it's a money pit. Having been there myself, it's best to take your time and not settle! I can't answer for you, but I can see your point.

House was more important to us.