Wedding or House? (Venting)

There is no contest. House is *far* more important than any wedding.

We've had our house for 2.5 years now. And yes, our wedding will be significantly smaller because of it. But guess what? That's the adult, mature thing to do. A wedding is ultimately a 1 day party.

If getting married before moving in is so important, then go to city hall or the courthouse.

My fiance and I have done everything backwards lol. I have two kids from a previous relationship, we've been together just over 9 yrs, and bought a house 3 yrs ago. We were kind of pushed into the house thing. I'm glad we did it, but only buy a house if your ready, for sure. Unfortunately a lot of these pre-marriage commitments take up most of our money. So we really have to budget to save anything. Good luck hun!

House! You can do a small intimate wedding and have a reception outside or at a restaurant. Save the money for the down payment.

Im sorry but i dont understand how thats an issue. Your wedding, while awesome, is really just one day. A home to build your live together in is far more important in the larger scoop of things.

In our particular situation it makes more sense to get hitched first. Paying rent makes us gag, but we recently (a little over a year ago) relocated to a new city and wouldn't want to rush the home buying process before we get to know our new city. You can change the house, but you can't change the location!

I think it's just whatever works for you.

But I'm honestly not ready for a house!!!! Plus I don't want to settle for a house that I know for a fact I don't like just to say we own a house. That's just stupid to me. I rather find a rental & spend time finding a house I REALLY LIKE when I have time. Hell it took me 3 months & almost 30 venues tours to find the perfect place for my wedding. So I know I WILL NOT find a house in 2 or 3 months.

We chose both.

We just bought our house last month, and will be married in sept.

We didn't push either item back, but we have also been putting money into savings for years. If we hadn't, we would be at the courthouse in a heartbeat.

I wouldn't put off buying a house for a 1 day event.

To be honest I'm in the same boat it's a wedding or sign a new lease or move my fiance wants a house I'm happy in our townhouse for another year I never thought I'll be able to plan a wedding and stuff after things didn't work out with my kids father. N i dnt wanna postpone my wedding Ugh

You should do what is best for you and Your FHs future. That being said I lean towards house buying but only if your ready to settle in that area for the next few years. If your not ready to settle in one spot I would wait on the house buying

You see, everyone always says house. FH and I obviously wanted both - wedding and house- and yes, renting is "throwing money away", but we figured if we spent all our savings (minus emergency fund) on a house down payment first, well, owning a home has a tendency to be a money suck. We figured if we bought a house and then started saving for the wedding we wanted, houses have a tendency to need new roofs, then the septic goes, then a pipe bursts in the basement, then you have to resurface the driveway and then the windows are kind of drafty and you hate the kitchen floor and then your savings are gone again. We figured we'd get married with the big wedding we wanted first and "get it out of the way" so to speak.

Oh & did I mention we would have to stay at FH grandmother's house for 2 months until this house that I don't really like is ready.

Omg @PushingButtons I love you!!! You so get it!!!!

I've debated that with my FH for years! He and I have been together for 10 years and he convinced me that if we don't have a wedding, I will constantly be thinking about it. So we started saving even before we got engaged.

Yes.. she really jus type all my thoughts. @pushingButtons

Yes, a wedding is a one day party, but after it's over it's done. Yes you maintain your marriage, but that's different from maintaining a house. IMO a house is a big, different kind of commitment, a commitment that a wedding (not a marriage) doesn't carry with it. Sometimes, even if you have the money, buying a house may not be the best decision for you and your SO.

I'm seriously confused about these "money suck" houses.

Did you not do basic repairs after moving in? Houses settle, shit breaks etc. but that doesn't make it a money suck. Not in our case anyway.

A house is far more important. That's your future for days. A wedding is one day for a few hours.

If you have hesitations about the house, don't do it! You need to have hand money to make an offer, the cost of inspections, down payment and closing costs. I was really surprised by the cost of closing costs. If something were to occur shortly after moving in, you might have to dig into the wedding fund or have to borrow. Doing both sounds super stressful. I'm fortunate to have done both separately.

I think that you should enjoy your wedding day and have it be exactly the way you imagined without having to cut more costs.

All I'm saying is that a lot of people will urge you to spend money on a house instead of a wedding and that a house is obviously the smarter choice, but I disagree that that's always the case. Of course, this isn't the case for everyone! If a few months ago FH and I (who are just getting started in our careers) had instead decided to buy a house and then say tomorrow one of us were offered a dream job across the country, if we had just bought a house that would certainly affect whether he or I should take that position, being tied down by the mortgage and having to resell the house, possibly at a loss. A wedding doesn't have that commitment. We could move across the country and then come back for our wedding for a few days, or just cancel and be out a few deposits. That and the aforementioned potential repairs is why, in our case, having the wedding we wanted came first for us. Everyone's situation is different of course.

Don't rush into buying a house. That's all I have to say.