Wedding or House? (Venting)

Honestly - I am in the rent forever camp. I bought a house and with the market. I lost a ton of cash - more than 10k. There is no way i would buy right now not knowing what is going to happen in November - honestly everyone acts like it has to be the next step - but it is not always the best one.

I think more importantly is knowing what you're ready to commit to. For example, if you aren't sure you want to stay in the area you're in for a while, in the house you can afford right now, etc, then maybe you shouldn't buy a house. But if you know you'll be staying put for a while, then it's certainly worth considering. Also, consider the housing market where you are. It is prime for buying a house, would it be worth to get into homeownership now...or is it not really the best time to buy? On a personal note, while you don't need as much down as many people think, it's important to me to put a large amount down, I don't really want to have to take out a 30-year mortgage if I can avoid it. FH and I are quite excited to start prepping for a home purchase as our first "married" project/accomplishment.

@Erin makes an excellent point. If you're in the U.S. it's probably wisest to wait until well after the election to buy a house. I actually have gotten that advice: "don't buy a house in an election year" unless you absolutely have to.

If you're on the fence about home ownership right now, I'd continue to rent. I always felt that renting was "throwing away $", until I bought my first home... yeah, mortgage payments were cheaper but then my property tax jumped to 5k/yr... and things broke and needed repair. My son threw a toy in the toilet and it turned into a $500 repair. My washing machine broke and I didn't have a landlord to put the responsibility on...

FH and I bought a house together last year. Home inspection showed a few things but the people we bought from were very good at covering things up and there's things a home inspector just can't see... we have been here for 9 months and have needed 2 new windows (4k), have had to put over 3k into the pool and hottub, and since the spring we have discovered 2 leaks in the roof... the day after we moved in our septic tank overflowed (thanks to the old owners that literally didn't clean their shit up for $100) It turned into a $1600 repair.... Home ownership is great, but it's something you need to KNOW you want.

FH and I know that this is where we want to live. We love our little acreage and wouldn't change it for the world (don't ask me to say that when I'm doing hours worth of yard work and lawn cutting a week, but it's morning and I'm not salty yet) We know this is the home for us, even with all the hiccups, but had I been on the fence when we bought it, I would be a miserable bitch with everything that has gone wrong with it so far...

@OP I totally get what you're saying. FH and I are in an apartment (which is pretty nice for what we pay) and our lease is up just 6 months before our wedding. FH is very interested at the prospect of looking at houses again (we did before we settled) and moving. I am dragging my feet. That is a ton of work, financial liability and risk of packing up and losing or breaking some of the wedding stuff I've gotten ready. With our wedding being so close to our lease, my vote was to resign or our lease for 1 more year and THEN look at houses. That way, we can use the money we get from our wedding to put toward a down payment. We are lucky enough to pay for our wedding as we go, so there shouldn't be any outstanding bills from the wedding to pay with our gifts.

I would maybe look for a cheaper apartment and then address a house after the wedding. It might help you to feel more comfortable and less "house poor".

House!!!! House!!!!! House!!! You can always do a small wedding reception.

Same situation. Trying to have a house by November and wedding is in March. Saving for that Down payment. It's not easy at all

Future Mrs. DW-are you counting on getting money from your wedding? Counting on hypothetical gifts as a home down payment isn't fiscally responsible, not to mention banks look at your whole financial picture before giving you a mortgage. If you don't have at least 6-9 months income saved in a emergency fund, you shouldn't be having a wedding in the first place.

Do what is best for both of you. I am of the opinion that spending a lot on a wedding isn't wise even if you don't need to save for a house and have all of the money in the world. It is just ONE day and not a true investment in the marriage. That doesn't mean it does not matter, but that is just my personal take. You can have a beautiful and meaningful wedding within your means. Just do what is best for you both in the long run.

@Kaitlyn We have already gone through the mortgage process and been approved as we are both very fiscally responsible. I'm not "counting" on money for the down payment for our home. We have some saved. But the more we can put toward it the better off we'll be. It's a boost. But thank you Kaitlyn for educating me on being an adult.

I could have gotten married 2 years ago. We decided to buy our house instead. I wouldn't change it for anything.

I would 100% say buy a home. We've been renting for a while and it's flushing away money. We added up how much we've spent in rent where we are now and it's over 40k. That makes me want to vomit. We are in the process of buying a home and will move in 3 weeks after the wedding and I'm so glad we finally made the leap. Honestly buying a house was scarier to me then the thought of marriage. Our mortgage though will be less then what we are paying in rent and we get more space. It doesn't need to be your "forever home". We love the house we are moving into but we both know we won't be there forever. Maybe 7-10 years. We are doing a conventional loan (only 5%) and then we got 4K sellers assist. It makes the closing costs and everything much more manageable. Good luck !

We are also purchasing a house before we have the wedding!

We are doing a wedding first. I had just signed a new lease to my townhome before getting engaged to FH. So Im locked in for another year. We had been looking prior locking in new lease but we were out bidded! So we decided to take a break from househunting to focus on our wedding and in a year try again. I personally refused to give up the wedding of my dreams so thats what we chose. My suggestion is talk w FH and determine which is your top priority. Nobody knows your pockets better than you! Good luck w wedding plans and househunting!

Just an FYI. Renting isnt always throwing money away. Your mortgage could easily be 60% interest payment and the rest is principle.

Also you have to properly compare properties. Did u buy in a different area from renting? Did u rent "downtown" and bought outside etc?

More factors than just "I am paying less now in mortgage over renting" when there are bigger bills (bigger home = higher utility and maintenance cost) and property taxes, insurance and potential commute costs etc.

I bought a house last year and although I wouldn't call it a money suck, it definitely is more expensive than renting. Not only the cost but time I think is what's the harder adjustment for FH and I. We have wayyy more space to clean and then the yard work is a whole other story. I wouldn't spend all of your money on a wedding, but I wouldn't buy a house either. It sounds like you are good with renting but start saving so when you are ready to make the financial and time commitment needed to have a house you can.

@VC aren't those all things people put into consideration before buying a home? I don't think anyone just wakes up in the morning and decides "hey I'm gonna buy a house today".

@Becoming - Id like to think that but when people say renting is throwing money away, they should know that buying is also throwing money away on interest, taxes and potential time etc.

My friend refused to rent and bought/sold within 2 years and claimed to make $100k (sold price minus purchase price). No she did not, it cost her $10k tax to buy, $20k to sell plus the renos she put in etc.

A house is important, but I also feel that a wedding is important too (to some people), FH wanted a house and I wanted a wedding - we opted to have a longer engagement to save separately for our wedding and buy a house (we were both already saving towards a house). Is it insane - yes! No matter what, when you buy a house, or when you have a wedding you're going to be financially put out for a period of time, but it'll normalize after time.

We are in a similar situation. When FH and I got engaged last year everyone was giving us hell for not putting all our wedding money into buying a home. We knew we wanted to move closer to our families within the next five years and I am finishing up my bachelor's so we had no idea where we would be living. We moved into a cheaper rental and put more savings aside for house downpayment then what we put aside for the wedding. For us this has worked. We have a nice chunk of change in our savings and we are able to have the wedding we want. Now that FH is going back to school we will have more time to save up our downpayment and have the choice of a nicer house since we took the time to save. I am also like you and have the mindset that when I do buy a home it better be a home I actually want. Not one that I am settling for.

Ultimately it is up to you and your FH what you do and how you do it since it is your money.