We just postponed the wedding indefinitely

Aww I'm sorry to hear about the change of plans, especially if you are feeling conflicted or let down. But I think you're doing the right thing. How are you supposed to plan a wedding without a clear budget? How does FH feel about the postponement? Could you have a low-key wedding at home, weekday wedding, etc. to cut down costs?

He's upset, but he's the one that brought it up.

He won't do anything small. So I said that we just don't get married at all. There's no NEED to be married (I'm not pregnant, without health insurance, etc). There's a WANT, but no NEED.

I feel like crying.

Tell him suck it up and do the courthouse thing if that is what you want. since money is a issue and you dont know when you would be able to do it. tell him you want to be married to him and dont need a huge ceremony to get married and then just plan the big day when you are able.

I agree with Anna. You can have the courthouse ceremony or have something in your home with immediate family, such as your parents, siblings, and in-laws. Then you can do a reception and share your vows in front of your friends and additional family once you are ready financially.

Personally, I did the same thing. We got ourselves too wrapped up in things and it was affecting the relationship. Both of you are what's important. Best wishes hon, it will all work out.

Ugh, it sounds like there's definitely a conflict in logic there. We didn't want to do anything small either, thus the 18 month long engagement and Ramen noodles in the pantry. I hope you guys are able to work something out.

Be encouraged. Everything will work out!

((hugs))

I am sorry for your postponment, but from all your posts I think this might be the best decision. I hope things work out for you, I really do, but you and your FH really need to get on the same page about a few things before you get married. It sounds like you are always stressed about finances and there are also issues with his ex and kids. I hope you and your FH can get past these issues, but running to the courthouse isn't going to fix anything. I think you know that and that is why you are relieved.

Take some time to just really enjoy being with your FH, like you did on you dinner date the other day. Make your happiness a priority and enjoy not getting stressed about a wedding. Good luck.

*hugs*

Maybe if you do the courthouse for now, and then do a larger vow renewal?

I'm sorry to hear that...sending big hugs your way!

I agree with Sara P. though, concentrate on your happiness and don't let the wedding fiasco get between the relationship - the party is not the point of a wedding, but the lifetime commitment to another person and it looks like you guys need to sort out a few things so you can be on the same page before you get into this lifetime commitment.

Thanks, guys. This is so hard. I wonder if we'll ever recover from this.

I just deleted my entire wedding board on pinterest. I needed to do it. I'll be packing up all my brides mags and vendor brochures and putting them away in a box in the back of my closet. I need there to be no evidence of any wedding planning in my sight.

@Lily C... I knew it was a marriage and not a wedding from the beginning. But FH was more hung up on the party. I was more concerned about the day after, and the day after that... I don't play around when it comes to major life decisions like this. I've been married before, and it was hell on earth to try to get divorced. It was 4 long years of separation, and he died 12 days before the divorce was final. I'll be god damned if I ever go through that again.

Aww I'm sorry @Future Mrs. O, I'm sure it's for the best though and you can plan without any financial stress burdening you.

My heart dropped when I seen this post. I am sorry you have to postpone your wedding. But I think the ladies here all have very good points, and I don't have much to add to their comments. I wish you the best of luck in working everything out. {{hug}}

Sorry to hear this...

Do what you gotta do...there may be a reason...we never know.

Good luck.

=(

so sorry to hear this!

I say, now that u know about prices for vendors, start saving money into a "wedding fund" and when u notice you are getting close to you're wedding goal or budget, THEN set a new date! Once FH gets his return, that will make u feel a lot better about setting a new date!

Keep your chin up, you're being very smart.... some people will go bankrupt because they are trying to "live beyond their means".

Vendors will understand and if u gave any deposits, I hope they will refund you, or maybe keep it for the future (if they do that, get a signed contract stating that they will hold your deposit for a future date, ex. 6 months from now).

good luck!!

I'm sorry. It's like a breakup with the wedding! It'll take some time, but you'll move past this. I'm really glad that you and your FH have been able to figure out SOMETHING. It seems like there may be more discussions in your future.

I am so sorry. *hugs* But it sounds like you guys know you are making the right decision.

That sucks but you also dont want to go into a marriage in debt, it will work out it always does! also i dont know the issue with the IRS refund but if its a status issue you can check the status of your refund online at

https://sa1.www4.irs.gov/irfof/lang/en/irfofgetstatus.jsp

Aww Im sorry We had to do this too. It sucked!

Awwww Soontobe, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this but know you have to do what is right for you. Praying thigns work out for you.