UPDATED: Should I track down estranged family members and family friends who have not bothered to RSVP?

@ Beuticant.. You made the comment of the day!!

I'm officially at this point confused on which list is which and who is on what list.. I think I need a flow chart lol!

We all on here have a LOT on our plates planning and I see where you're coming from when you don't want another thing on your to-do list.. HOWEVER.. Instead of trying to eliminate any unnecessary stress on your wedding day NOW, you are potentially creating it ON your wedding day.

If some people think you received the card.. Take he day off.. Show up and are told 'Too bad so sad' the natives may get a bit hostile.. And it will ultimately come to your ears ON YOUR wedding day.. You also don't want to put the people who are 'manning the door' in that position where they just came to enjoy and celebrate your wedding and may end up in a fight.

Honestly it seems like you posted because you wanted us to tell you how great an idea it is to have a bouncer at your wedding that will turn people away who didn't RSVP. It's a horrible idea. No one on here (except the one white knight that may post) is going to say that this is a good idea.

B lists are rude, but you already sent invites to your b list, so can't talk you out of that. Assuming people won't show is risky and not the right way to go about things. Follow up with your guests. It's as simple as that. Turning them away at the door is rude and people will side eye the hell out of you if you do that.

Just because I don't want the extra stress of tracking down adults to a party I am throwing them, I'm a "lovely person"? spare me the sarcasm, it was a legitimate question that I did not have enough room to word properly in the initial post. If you live hours and hours away and don't RSVP, why should I be happy that you didn't bother to RSVP or call me or anything, especially if I haven't seen you in years or something of the like...

It's too early for this post.

You're a "lovely person" because you are talking about throwing out or turning away family members to your wedding! I do not understand how you could possibly see that as OK. You could have spent the time you wasted on this post calling them! This goes way beyond tacky, it is rude and it is nasty.

If not someone is NOT worth following up on an RSVP, they were not worth inviting. Like seriously.

We all have a lot on our plates but following up on RSVP is BUILT into the schedule and timing, You only have to do one method of following up, then you did your job and then you can assume they will show up or not and you can decide how to handle it.

Why would you send invitations to people that live hours and hours away and you haven't had contact with in years in the first place? It's clear you don't actually want them at your wedding. It seems like you could've avoided the B-List to begin with by not inviting the people that you clearly don't want there.

JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU ACTUALLY READING WHAT WE'RE SAYING?!?!?!? What if their INVITE got lost in the mail? What if they typed in your phone number incorrectly? What if cell phone service is shitty and the text sent, but never got through to your phone? What if you didn't code your site as well as you thought you did? Stop being so damn difficult. We're trying to help you.

Special snowflake alert.

I had probably 50 people that I had to follow up with and 40 of them are coming. How hard is it for you to send a text?

Can't wait for your BAM!

I literally had like 6 people RSVP out of 60. People just don't RSVP like they should, but if I just assumed they weren't coming how sad would my wedding have been? Be the bigger person and follow up with your guests! Sorry that people suck and can't do a simple RSVP but don't block them from coming if they were invited and forgot to RSVP. That seems crazy to me.

I am having a destination wedding and four people who live in different states were coming to my wedding who DIDNT RSVP and I had to call them.. When I called, they already booked their flights and hotel rooms without even asking me if I had a hotel block.. They did the leg work all on their own because they wanted to be there.

We are just saying to check with your guests so YOU can enjoy your wedding day and not have potential fights break out.

Well it's tacky, rude and nasty to not rsvp in my opinion, or talk to me at all, especially if I give reminders that I KNOW they've gotten but chose not to respond to. I don't have the time to sit and explain the whole list situation, or my family situation. But the people who didn't RSVP are people I probably should not have invited in the first place but was advised to by my parents. It just doesn't make sense that people who have to travel more than like 2 hours would NOT RSVP and assume I know they are coming if I have not spoken to them. It's rude, tacky and nasty to me..

Or how about this...instead of spending your time here trying to defend your awful choices, why don't you use this time wisely (you know, this spare time that you claim you don't have) and actually call these people?

@A Lynn 17 I literally LAUGHED out loud!

Well actually almost everything you have said is wrong - but i mean go big or go home right?

It is beyond rude to have an A list and B list. OH I TOTALLY WANT YOU TO COME TO MY WEDDING AND BRING ME A GIFT. If the people I really want there cant come.

Also what if people didn't get their invite. At least 2 people who i sent STD to didn't get them. So your 'guests' think they weren't invited? Stop being lazy and follow up - it is the proper thing to do.

I cant even imagine what else you are doing to these poor guests... .

Instead of having someone turn people away from the doors (which is beyond rude) have that person call people. Honestly shit happens in life. People have other things going on and forget, they mess up phone numbers. Give people a break.

TMNT YES! that is EXACTLY my situation, I didn't want to invite them. My mother forced me even though we don't have a strong relationship with them. THOSE are the people I wouldn't bother contacting! That's what I'm getting at! I understand that things happen and get lost, But I contacted these people a few days ago to confirm that they knew of the date, that they got their invites all of that. So it's really likely that they chose to NOT RSVP, especially because my extended family is just rude like that to begin with...

I guess I'm the only one who agrees with this post. I have a b list as well...why is it considered rude? If I had an unlimited wedding budget, I'd invite everyone. It's not like my b list invites say "I'm only inviting you because an a lister declined". Most people have no idea lol. I also don't believe in tracking down people for an rsvp. Everyone confirmed they got their invite. I'll send 1 reminder, but after that, I will assume you're not able to come.

Plan your wedding the way you want girl.

Well I think it's tacky, rude, and nasty to have a B-List...