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C
Savvy August 2016

UPDATED: Should I track down estranged family members and family friends who have not bothered to RSVP?

Coo-coo bananas, on June 25, 2016 at 8:39 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 126

So there's 41 days until my wedding, and our final RSVP due date is in about 3 weeks! Our first RSVP due date we had for the first round of guests just passed and so many people from my extended family did not bother to RSVP even with gentle reminders of the date. I didn't bother calling them. I...

So there's 41 days until my wedding, and our final RSVP due date is in about 3 weeks! Our first RSVP due date we had for the first round of guests just passed and so many people from my extended family did not bother to RSVP even with gentle reminders of the date. I didn't bother calling them. I have an online RSVP system, gave an option of calling, texting or e-mailing and quite frankly I feel that's enough? I don't understand the expectation that the bride and groom have to track down adults to find out if they want to come to a party we're throwing essentially. I know it may be considered rude to not follow up, but if you live so far away and I haven't spoken to you in years, why would I assume you're coming if you don't contact me to arrange anything with me? I understand following up with people who live close, or people that you know well, but if you're forced to invite people you don't have a good relationship with b/c your mom said to, should you be expected to still follow up?

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126 Comments

  • Laura
    Champion June 2010
    Laura ·
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    @Rachel - Enough with the name-calling. You can disagree with other posters, but name calling is against our Community Guidelines.

    https://www.weddingwire.com/corp/legal/community-guidelines

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  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    Didn't read all the comments so forgive me if something has surfaced:

    Come on, ladies

    1) no stars

    2) no avatar

    3) user name is "coo coo bananas"

    Don't feed the troll.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    @OGJaci oh I totally never saw that!!! Oh well haha yes sad indeed!

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  • Alaina
    Devoted August 2017
    Alaina ·
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    Was there a purpose to this post other than shutting down everyone's respectful & truthful advice or did you just want them all to agree with you? Nobody is attacking you...they are just trying to help you not make a bad decision.

    Yes it is rude when people don't RSVP however It's more rude to not follow-up and assume their not coming then on the wedding day turn them away because you assumed. Note the key word "assumed." Assumptions do not usually go well and you will be very disappointed when all these people who did not RSVP show up.

    Good luck dealing with that unneeded drama.

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  • K
    Super July 2016
    Katherine ·
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    You should just call everyone who hasnt rsvp'd, you say you dont understand why they wouldn't, but you aren't them, so its not a matter of understanding why they haven't contacted you. Even a text message is better than leaving it to chance.

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  • Nonna T
    Master April 2014
    Nonna T ·
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    @Coco: YAY! Good for you!

    @Brittany: Oy.

    @Rachel: Hush, child.

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