To Change Your Last Name Or Not To Change Your Last Name...that Is The Question

I did not change my last name. When I was younger I decided that no matter who I married I would not change my last name. My last name is a part of me and my identity. Plus my last name is very unique, uncommon, and fits my personality. I know it's the norm to change your last name, but at the same time I tend not to follow what is normal. I've always been more pro to the path less taken.

I decided at a young age, if a Man was willing to say he loved me enough to spend the rest of our lives together, why does it matter if we have the same last name or not? He should fall in love with me, not my name. I did consider hyphenating my name, but after I tried saying out loud in front of the mirror it just didn't seem to fit.

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I completely relate to the whole cringing when the pastor announced us as Mr. and Mrs. his last name....in fact, after our wedding one of my best friends left me a voicemail Hey Mrs. "his last name". Immediately I thought of his mother, and not myself. Perhaps on my wedding day I cringed and blocked out when the pastor announced us that way, Mr. and Mrs. Later after my dad found out I didn't change my last name from my sister, (BTW, He wasn't happy about it, then proceeded to tell me that if he had been the pastor of our wedding he wouldn't have signed our marriage certificate because I wasn't changing my last name) , he asked if I remembered being announced as Mr. and Mrs. "husband last name" and I said no. He couldn't believe it, but I honestly don't remember being announced that way.

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Right! Falling through the cracks is easy, emergencies happen. The last thing you want to go wrong is to be standing at the DMV explaining that it says right on your child's birth certificate that your maiden name is ____ and them not accepting it because it's not the "right" paperwork.

Getting married for the first time at almost 48. I am not changing to his, nor hyphenating it. I am just adding his on to mine and can use them interchangeably.

View Quoted Comment That is an interesting twist. Congrats on your future marriage!

I plan to change my last name to my FH's last name. This is the tradition that is normally kept. I feel like this would be the sacrifice from being two to becoming one.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you. Congrats on your future marriage!

Thank you!! And another Jersey girl here...love the AC boardwalk. 😊

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Your welcome!

I am changing my last name. But I want to, I like tradition. My only concern for anyone not changing their name is then they would have to figure out who's last name their future children would get.

View Quoted Comment That is valid concern that my husband and I discussed around this topic.

I’m changing my name to his but every time I think about it it does make me sad. Personally, I didn’t like the idea of just abandoning my last name. It felt like I was gonna lose a whole generation. My FH doesn’t like the idea of combining names and neither do I because it’s just a mess especially in school for future kids cause our last names don’t flow nicely combined. I love my FH and growing up I was always excited about taking my FH’s last name. Though there are days, I feel guilty of just letting go of my last name. However, when we have kids I hope to somehow honor it in their names, whether it be middle or some sort of variation.

View Quoted Comment I feel your pain. This is not always an easy decision.

View Quoted Comment This is my thought! I’m pretty sure I want to take his name, but I’ve had my own for 32 years and it makes me a little sad to let it go. It’s 100% my choice and FH is happy with any decision I make, but I think I want to take his to complete our family unit and so I have the same last name as our children. But, I really like the idea of giving one of our kids my maiden name as a middle name to help carry it on in some way. 😊

View Quoted Comment I think that's a great compromise 😀

I was going to hyphenate mine last name and he said no! Lol 😂 I will change my last name no arguments.

View Quoted Comment Your first marital compromise 😉

I am! I don’t like my last name! I’ll be so glad to become a Barrett!

I’m still on the fence. I’m overly attached to my maiden name as both of my parents had the same last name when they met. So everything I’m related to has my last name. I could move it to my middle name but I’m attached to my middle name as it represents my grampa. FH thinks it’s “weird” for a husband and wife to have different names. He wants me to change it but doesn’t think I will. I still have months to decide. We get married in November and I won’t do anything until after tax time anyway, too confusing.

I have always been very traditional and wanted to change my last name. My fiancé is also very traditional and really cares. He’s said his feelings would be hurt if I didn’t want to share his name. I love the idea of us all being under one name and intend on taking his name but... recently I have been feeling this sense of impending loss. I think I still will change it but I didn’t realize how attached to my last name I was until now. I’m struggling.