To Change Your Last Name Or Not To Change Your Last Name...that Is The Question

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I know a lot of women who have done that and they are very happy with their decision.

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Agreed! The name change is about the union.

I love my FH’s surname but I am keeping my name for a few reasons. First off, I love my own name too. I never really planned to give up my own name. I considered a hyphenated last name but, my maiden name is 4 letters long and super easy for me to deal with. I have professional licenses under my maiden name and my career has been being built under this name. I have two kids from a previous relationship and they have double last names, their second surname is mine. FH and I have one child together and he has FH’s surname followed by mine. So my surname links me to all 3 of my boys. In FH’s culture women don’t change their last name upon marriage so me adding his last name before mine (like ours sons name) would make it look like his last name was my paternal surname. And if I add his name to the end of mine it’s backwards from our sons name. Its just too complicated to mess with but I would love to be publicly addressed as his MRS. I’ll likely add his name on my social media

I’m hyphenating. After my divorce I chose to keep my ex-husband’s name because of our two mutual children. Discussing this with FH I told him I’d either hyphenate or he could adopt our name. Needless to say the thought of him changing his name wasn’t acceptable to him 😂 I used his reaction as an example of why I don’t want to change my name again and he understood that. So hyphenating it is.

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I totally agree! And I understood that you didn't use sacrifice in a negative way, I was just meaning that there are other people that don't see it in a positive light, but think it is (usually) a very positive thing. I just wanted to encourage you as you've made this decision to love your FH.

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Lol, I've never heard of the "type" of person to keep her last name. Maybe its a compliment?

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I love the idea of turning over a new leaf.

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Girl Power!

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I came to the same conclusion, no judgment here.

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I'm learning to understand all sides of this situation.

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This is very interesting! I did not know that and I was curious what various cultures have to say in regards to this situation.

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I agree with feeling more like a unit. I have been a Walter for 2 months now and I have this incredible bond with my husband and his mother that I feel like strengthed once we married and I took on his name.

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I think name changes are very traditional and the relationship I have with my husband is very nontraditional. However, in this case, I decided to go with the name change.

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I think using your maiden name as your pen name is a great idea!

I am definitely changing my last name! I never thought any other way. I see why others may choose not to or to hyphenate but that was never an option for me. I think having my FH last name is the coolest thing in the world and I cannot wait to legally have the same last name as him!

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This can be a complex decision to make so I'm happy you made one that works for you.

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I think its very cool that you both changed your name.

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I don't feel like I lost my identify when I changed my last name. I actually feel like I took on a new identity as a life partner and future mother.

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Or that i'm too lazy to deal with the hassle? haha! but honestly, my name is alliterative and just flows nicely so maybe he thought I'd want to keep that, but i don't have my parents' last name and i'm the only person in my family with it, so I'm not overly attached to it except that it's my dad's first name, per Cambodian tradition, so i'm fine with it as a middle name.

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I'm so glad you shared that with us. I never consider how this decision might be different for homosexual copies. Long Live Love!