To Change Your Last Name Or Not To Change Your Last Name...that Is The Question

I am not changing my last name. I am from Puerto Rico and in Latin culture women don't change their last name after married.

I'm changing my last name. I'm excited to join FH's family and personally feel like it makes us feel more like a unit with the same last name. We want kids so I want to have the same last name as them as well. I love my family and last name, but I'm dropping my last name completely and keeping my middle name as I'm more attached to it. FH has an easy last name to pronounce so that'll be nice since people mispronounce mine 95% of the time!

I changed my name. My husband doesn't own me, it doesn't take away from any of my accomplishments. I changed my name because it's a nice way to honor our union and our becoming a family. Could he have changed his name instead? Sure, but as much as I loved my maiden name, I'm also a sucker for tradition.

A couple people we know have combined their two last names into one by taking the first part of one name and the last part of the other, but ours sound weird together either way we do it (and it makes it really long). Since we both have long last names, I’m not even considering hyphenating because I don’t want to have to sign that. My FH just says it’s up to me if I want to change my name, and we’ve discuss both changing our names to something new, but have no idea how to go about just picking something. However, we have two kids together that have his name, so it would be easier for me to take his name rather than have all four of us change our names. I’m thinking I may still use my last name as my pen name.

I am not. Our last names are too similar for me to change it aha. For example it's like going from Lo to Ho. And so if I hyphenated it it would be Lo-Ho and it just didn't make any sense flow wise ahah. And then someone suggested moving my last name as my middle name but I already have a middle name I identify with. And overall it just became too complicated ahah so I kept mine.

View Quoted Comment Just an observation-no judgement.

Your screen name name is Future Mrs. K....

when you chose that as your identity on here did it make you smile or cringe?

I changed mine, we actually both did. He changed his from his mother maiden name to their family name, his parents married after he was born.

My husband and I are both very traditional. It was very important to him that I take his name. I never second guessed changing my name. I love sharing a name, and I feel that it makes us more of a unit. I love that he finally shares a name with his parents and once we have kids, our family will all share a name as well. Although, I think I teared up more at the SS office making it official than I did at the wedding, lol. I almost moved it my middle name, but my maiden name isn't fitting as a middle name.

I can see why some might say they see it as a husband owning a wife, but our culture has moved so far past that I don't think it applies any more. I know I am not owned and am free to make decisions for myself and that didn't change just because my name did.

I changed my last name, but for me it was never a question. My birth family was rather distant and most of them had changed their last name already. The only one who technically had the same last name was my brother! So for me, taking his last name was about joining a large, loving, united family. I started the process the Monday after the wedding.

However, I certainly understand the decision to keep your last name or hyphenate. From professional, to loss of identity/feeling of ownership, to connection to your family of origin. Kidding, if it wasn't for the attachment, I maybe would have thought otherwise... my last name is rather generic now...

For now, I plan on changing my last name. I want to move my current one as my middle name, though! I think it'll be a good way for me to maintain my identity

I am changing my last name, but I'm honestly not sure if I would have made the same decision if I was in a heterosexual relationship. It was only a few years ago that same sex couples couldn't get married, so it feels really powerful to us to be able to get married and share a family name. It's also important to us that we both share a name with our children so that we are seen more as a family unit, something that we anticipate struggling with. My current last name is Smith, so not super unique. I also don't have a relationship with my father, so I don't feel any real attachment to my generic name.

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I too decided to share a last name with my husband.

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I'm really happy that decision is working out for the two of you.

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I struggled with changing my last name but ultimately I thought it was the best decision for my future family.

View Quoted Comment Obviously it didn’t make me cringe... seriously... who even asks that? Why would I have chosen that as my screen name if I didn’t like it? I clearly stated I AM changing it in some way, either taking his last name completely or having two last names.

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I am currently working on perfecting my new signature.

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There is definitely a lot of paperwork to changing your last name

I'm changing mine. For me, it's about identifying as a family, as a unit. The first time I got married, I didn't change my name legally for years (though I used his name socially). I didn't want to let go of my own family, my own unique identity. But also, that marriage was doomed from the start. I'm with the right guy now, and I'm so stinking excited to have his name. Not that everyone should feel that way, it's just where I am with it.

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When I used the term sacrifice I did not mean it in a negative way. I've come to understand that in a marriage you have to give a little to get a little and that is a sacrifice. I am happy to have my husband's last name but I did not come to the decision easily.

We have both been married before. And I changed my name and my child have his name ( my ex husbands). But I can not have anymore children, so for them and the fact it was a pain in the ass to change back, I will not be taking his name.

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My maiden name is my mother's last name and because she passed away a few years ago I felt a connection to that name. I don't think that changing my last name erased her legacy though because I am apart of her and my husband helped me to come to that conclusion.