Thoughts on wishing well or monetary gifts

Not familiar with a wishing well, but I got an invite my cousins bride-to-be's bridal shower and it says bride requests money or gift cards.
Made me and my mom both mad, especially since I've only met her once. I was going to get them a gift card since i couldn't find a registry. Now they will be getting the dumbest gift I can find.
Just my input.

I’ve only encountered someone directly saying they only wanted money once and it was not appreciated. The couple shouldn’t even be MENTIONING gifts to anyone, let alone saying “don’t bring us gifts, we only want your money”. Even in a poem, it’s still inappropriate. If someone asks if you are registered, then you can tell them you didn’t have things to register for. IF they choose to give you a gift, they can choose money if they want to.

You absolutely don't have to consider it just because your FI thinks it's a great idea. Look up the etiquette and show him.

It is rude to mention gifts of any sort and that includes money. A cringe worthy poem only makes it worse. When I receive an invitation like that it tells me the person was never taught good etiquette, has forgotten everything they were taught, or has chosen to be deliberately rude, and they have no taste for including the poem.

There are precious few wedding guests who don't know that a gift of money is always welcome.

Every time I have been to a wedding with a wishing well or a “honeymoon fund” jar, it has remained empty through the entire night. If people want to give cash or a check, it’s going to be in a card when they arrive. They aren’t going to bring cash in their wallet in hopes that you’ll have a box or a jar somewhere to stick it in. You also don’t need to advise your guests that monetary “donations” are appreciated. This is a gift, not a donation, your wedding isn’t a charity. They already know that money is a good gift and will be appreciated.

Every time I have been to a wedding with a wishing well or a “honeymoon fund” jar, it has remained empty through the entire night. If people want to give cash or a check, it’s going to be in a card when they arrive. They aren’t going to bring cash in their wallet in hopes that you’ll have a box or a jar somewhere to stick it in. You also don’t need to advise your guests that monetary “donations” are appreciated. This is a gift, not a donation, your wedding isn’t a charity. They already know that money is a good gift and will be appreciated.

I have the same issue as to not needing items for our home and we also have no money for a honeymoon. My FH suggested that we open a bank acct. For guests to deposit if they wish to , but honestly, although it would be awesome, we have chosen to not mention anything in writing or open any accounts. It should and would be perfectly fine if our guests cannot give us any money or gift cards, we r inviting people we care about and want to see in our special celebration, and most of them will be spending their $ on their attire for the celebration. We will let them know about our honeymoon plan if they want to give us anything cash or gift card wise but we r definitely not mentioning any "gift" or money hopes unless they ask, remember this day is about showing up and having a blast, money and gift giving is just another way to create tense situations.

I think u should follow your heart. I'm not doing a registry and letting my guests know that a wishing well will be present for cards and in leue of gifts a wishing well will be present. Why ask for gifts that u dont really want or need. It's not begging. Its saving u time and ur guests time spent to find the item or u having to take it back 2 the store.

I think there are different versions of a wishing well. One is just a card holder at the reception. The other is for the couple to ask for people to fill it with money on top of the gifts or cards they already brought.

Yeah, you know the right answer on this one; now you just need to help your beloved see the light! There just isn't an upside to asking for money. You said you're mid-30's, for me, a Wishing Well is something a really young couple would do because they were naive and no one told them it was a bad idea. It's cringe-y any time, but especially with a couple who knows better. There are literally dozens of past threads documenting negative opinions about Wishing Wells -- make your FH read them.... Good luck!

We don’t want gifts because we are moving to another country for a year and then have no idea where we’ll end up! The last thing we want is a lot of stuff. When they ask though, they ask my parents who definitely don’t want five toasters in the basement. Some people are giving us money, so far we are also getting a few gifts. Not sure what we’ll end up with, guess we’ll find out in a month!

At the end of the day it's your wedding. Do what you please!

If you don’t want to register for anything, don’t. Just have a card box at your wedding. You get what you get. If someone gets you a gift you don’t like or can’t use, return it to the store. You just don’t prompt people to give you money because that’s what you want.

Also, back in my day, a wishing well was at a bridal shower and in addition to the main gift, people would put a small, inexpensive kitchen item in the wishing well such as measuring spoons, a melon baller, bottle opener, chip clips, etc. I’ve never heard of a wishing well for cash at a wedding. It’s very distasteful.

Thank you all for taking the time to respond! I don’t know about anyone else but I have been asked by several people where we registered or have we registered yet. My usual answer is that we are not going to register and that we will just accept whatever gifts people choose to give us. In the end I’m sure our friend meant well when suggesting the whole poem/wishing well scenario. She used it for her wedding and she felt that it was well received. I definitely want to be hospitable to my wedding guest. I also know that my fiancé’s input/desires are very important. So I will remain open to compromise on it! At this point it’s more about us responding to people who ask about the registry with a tactful answer.

We didn’t register for anything. Everyone knows that money is a great gift. And we ended up with mostly gift cards and cash. The gifts we got were all picture frames and Mr/Mrs decorations. And honestly even if you specifically say you want cash and gift cards you will still end up with some gifts. It has happened at every wedding I’ve ever been to where they ask for cash.

Wishing well/honeyfunds are distasteful and even though guests will never say it to your face, they are not appreciated. Even less so if they come with stupid little poems or rhymes begging for cash. Because that’s what they’re doing. Begging for cash.

View Quoted Comment This! If I heard that a couple was having a wishing well at their wedding, I'd bring a pack of scrubby sponges, maybe some Mr Clean magic erasers if I'm feeling particularly generous.

People know that money is a good gift. They don't have to be told as such. Anyone who doesn't think money is a good gift will give a physical gift, registry or not, money request or not. Asking for money will run the real risk of people being put out. Put out people will give less, if at all.

Every time I see one of these jars I think 'So I paid to come...put a nice gift in your card...and now you want MORE money?' It really comes off that the only reason you invited people in the first place was to get as much out of them as possible.

We didnt register. We live together and his mom recently passed away so we relplaced all our old stuff with her stuff. We figured people can pick stuff out or give cash or giftcards. I did mention to alot of people who asked i would love Lowes giftcards to get new porch furniture and update some things in the house.

My friend didnt register last year. She said she got mostly cash and giftcards. The gifts she did get were all awesome really unique thoughtful gifts.

View Quoted Comment The answer is: we are not registering.