Thoughts on wishing well or monetary gifts

Good Morning,

We are also homeowners and already had our housewarming so we are asking for monetary gifts also. We didn't put a registry in our invites but we did put a link for our website and there is where we put the poem asking for monetary gifts only. We figured that was the best way to do it.

You are right and he is wrong. It’s a good time for him to start learning this principle (just kidding J). Your idea to not register is exactly what you should be doing. People are smart and will figure you would like money as a gift and will give accordingly. You are 100% on the right track. Guests do not need to be reminded by a poem or a wishing well. They will give what they give and that should be more than enough.

I wouldn't include it. People that give gifts will give you money regardless of the poem!

I would not be putting anything into a wishing well at a wedding I attended.

I have had people ask how they can contribute to our honeymoon and I have answered them with a smile and a "I really appreciate the gesture but your presence at our celebration is enough!" If they ask again, I tell them that we are honeymooning in Disney World and that Disney gift cards are how we are saving for a lot of the trip.

My FMIL asked me the other day if I would be doing a money dance at the wedding. I told her point blank that it is tacky to expect a guest to bring out their wallet at our wedding unless it is to hand their drivers license to the bartender.

Just show him this thread.

I recently received an invite (a week before the RSVP date) that had a note paperclipped with the registry info and a request for money. The list of other etiquette violations would be too long to list here, but lets just say the whole thing left me with a definite bad taste in my mouth. I got a small gift card for the store they were registered at, just to make a point. (I otherwise might have given money.)

I have two weddings to attend this summer and both weddings did not sign up for a registry,

One has a honeymoon fund and the other- a kitchen renovation fund. Not sure what to bring to the shower either. It really makes guests confused, A registry is an idea of what you guys like. I am having a card box it might be similar to a wising well, even if your guest do not buy the items to the registry they will give a gift card or cash. I am doing a registry and a card box because I would get asked as well and we also own our home and are fully furnished but upgrades will be nice to silverware and kitchen appliances, can never have too much bedding and towels. At the end of the day you both can decide whats best!

I'm not sure why they would have a shower if they aren't registering for actual gifts. The purpose of the shower is to help set up the marital home. Honestly if all they are asking for is money, I wouldn't go to the shower since I always give cash (in the form of a check) at the wedding. I think having a shower for cash distasteful.

The best way to do it would to be leaving this information off.

If you did not do a registry, guests will get the hint and give you money. A cutesy poem on a wedding website is cringe-worthy, and I know it will turn a lot of guests off.

Don't mention anything about gifts on your website if you are not registering. It sounds grabby!