Thoughts on this - underage drinking at a wedding

It's totally up to the parents (in my opinion, not necessarily legally). When I was underage, I was routinely served alcohol at family weddings. As long as I was responsible (i.e. didn't get rip roaring drunk), my parents were fine with it. In Ohio, parents can allow their child to be served, provided it's not a negligence issue (like letting a 10 year old take shots).

I think it should not be allowed by parents at all. It is against the law and they can get into trouble. But like you said, they don't usually card at these events, even though they should. If I were working the event and thought they were underage, I wouldn't serve them without at least trying to verify their age.

I think the host is ultimately responsible for policing that sort of thing. Who knows if she was even served? Someone else could have given it to her.

Well I think it should be up to parents and venue..not sure about legally though; but if it is questionable the person should be carded. I was served alcohol when I was 20, but was turning 21 at midnight..still illegal; my dad was okay with that given the circumstances..If I was a venue coordinator I would make sure the bartenders card..Me personally, as a bride I don't want any drama or potential legal issues of minors drinking..I won't have many there anyways, but I may plan on giving my coordinator names of those that are like almost 21, to see if they try to or anything and prevent that.

edited to add: I don't think parents should lead underagers drink at weddings.

Was this child a toddler? do you work at an Applebee's or Olive Garden? sorry, had to throw that out there

umm... it's probably easy for underage kids to drink at weddings. they don't have to go to the bar, but can pick stuff up off of tables. we are having a few kids in the 9-15 years old range at our wedding, and I'm not too worried about them drinking. everyone else will be 21+ and free to do as they wish...

It's up to the bar tenders as well as the parents. Most parents are not following their 19 yr olds around at a wedding. And saying that "obviously at a wedding the staff does not card due to the nature of the event" is no excuse at all. I went to 7 weddings last summer, and was carded at every single one (and at 27 I look my age). There is no reason that you can't card because it's a wedding- it just keeps the hosts safe from lawsuits (IL has a law that can hold the bartender and hosts responsible for the drunken stupidities of a person if they were served more than they should have drank). I was not bothered at all to be carded. Parents should certainly be watching their children, but the reality is that most don't, so the bartenders should be carding.

I agree with the special events director, it's a private event so I see it the same as a private residence. If parents allow their 18 year old to have a drink with them at dinner that's their business. I can see how the line gets blurred though with mature looking 14 and 15 year olds running up to the bar when they think their parents aren't watching. I don't think the venue should have the added burden of carding people though and obviously no bartender should be serving children.

I think parents bear the brunt on this but since it is the venue not the parents that get in trouble the venue is ultimately responsible. I do not condone underage drinking but know it happens and cannot always be prevented. This does make me think that I will empower our bartenders to card anyone they think may be questionable! But that still doesn't deal with the issue Analy presents. That's a tough one.

Im all against underage drinking ... even when i was underage. i never understood the big deal about it..

but on topic, the venue should not be held responsible. most minors are there with their parents which technically would be consent.. its not like its some house party with minors everywhere.

We had a foreign exchange student at my wedding and even though it's legal for her to drink in Italy I did ask her to refrain from getting drinks at the bar for any potential ramifications, although I was fine with her sipping off her exchange host's drinks.

The thing is - it's ultimately the venue's liquor license and there's no caveat in the law for weddings. This meeting next door has been going on for over an hour and our SE director is making some good solid points so I don't think we'll lose our license but the law is the law. It sounds like we're walking away with a hefty fine :-(

The venue ABSOLUTELY should have the burden of carding people. They are the ones that have everything to lose if something goes bad. We live in a sue happy world and everyone with an ounce of common sense should cover their ass.

Also the facility should be up to date with laws on such events. For example in Texas it is required to card anyone who appears to be 27 years of age or younger..i really dont think that it would be a huge deal to card..

Thats too bad fins, who's the moron who even brought the issue to anyones attention?

At our venue, I had to sign something saying if there was someone underage drinking that I would be held responsible. I have made it VERY clear to our little cousins that they are not allowed to drink because I'm not getting a ticket for their drinking on my wedding day.

But Brittany, parents don't get to consent. It doesn't matter if parents say it's ok. It's against the law and technically considered child abuse to allow minors to consume alcohol.

So what you're saying EDubbsGirl is that the venue is held liable for the parents/guardians failing to police the minors drinking? So it's like, blaming McDonalds for kids being fat.

Our venue has a strict carding policy. IMO they are no different then a restaurant. A wedding may be a private event but when it is hosted at a venue that is providing the service then they are responsible for who they serve.

I think a parent might bear some responsibility for their 14 or 15 year old but plenty of 19 and 20 year olds get invited to weddings by themselves.

I think it should be a joint effort. It is against the law first thing and the parents and venue may get in trouble. I am against under age drinking with a passion haha and we are only having a cash bar and my venue says they do card and if they find someone drinking that is underage they may "throw" them out. So unless a parent or someone else of age actually buys the drink, it will be difficult for the underage ones to have alcohol.

@mellojean, legally of course but as a 24 year old bride I would really prefer that my friends don't have to whip out their ID's every time they want a drink or have issues if they want to order more than one drink at a time like they're in a night club or something, its a private event that I'm paying for, @raptor has a good point, I wonder if your venue could use contracts like that fins to avoid this issue.

I don't know about your state, but in mine- the venue would be held legally responsible for a criminal actions, and the bartender would be criminally charged.

I don't care what the reasons are, you cannot serve alcohol to minors. Why shouldn't the venue card people? If I'm going somewhere that alcohol will be served, I always take my ID with me.

Now in my state- a minor can drink in a public place. If the parent orders alcohol, I can give it to the parent- who can give it to their "child" who is over the age of 16. As long as the aprent is at the table, the child can drink. If the parent gets up, the staff is supposed to remove the alcoholic beverage.