Thinking about eloping but want to share the day with friends and family- thoughts?

My first thought was to invite our parents and siblings to a BBQ and have it done there. But then I realized I wanted a church wedding with my best friends standing by my side.

I had a friend who ran away to Bermuda and got married. She did have her immediate family with her, but no one else. Afterward, they had a casual (translation jeans) BBQ in her Aunt's back yard. I have to confess, I was bummed I missed the wedding, but I had fun at the party. Also the cost is a lot less than 1/10th percent. You're looking at $3000 (for a fancy elopement) vs. $20,000 for a halfway decent wedding reception.

I'm thinking the same thing- it's a hard decision! I do think it would be really romantic to elope and have something for just the two of us though!

After I got engaged and started going over budgets, thinking about the stress of having a reception, we decided on eloping, but having our parents and our sons join us . We are going to have a intimate, beach ceremony in Traverse City, then a few weeks later we will have an afternoon reception for immediate family and friends . Amazingly I have been able to keep to the budget and nooooo stress. A few have made comments that they wish they could join, but I just ask them to respect our wishes...so far they have.

In most states, I think you need 2 witnesses anyway... I have planned 3 weddings in a short space of time...lol... long story.

You can skip the bridal party. Depending on where you want to get married, there are chapels that include up to 20 guests for the same price, and they coordinate everything for you.

I'm at that point in my planning process where I'm asking myself "why didn't you just elope?"

But I couldnt let go of the wedding fantasy of the pretty dress and all of your family and friends together. If I could go back, I don't think I would choose to elope. BUT in hindsight I would do many things different.

My FH and I have decided on eloping. We found this really cute resort, about an hour away from us that has an all inclusive elopement package. It includes flowers, cake, champagne, photography and accommodations. They can even provide the witnesses. We are planning on making it a long weekend and have a backyard reception the following summer.

Elope.

I am right there with you. It would be wonderful to have our family and friends together, but I really just wanna go on a cruise and get married on a beach somewhere warm. It will cost less money and I will still have great memories of the ceremony. We will throw a big party for everyone after we feel we can afford it. Maybe the big celebration can be on our anniversary. Good luck with this!

I'm not sure how this plan will save you any money or stress if you're still planning to have a reception for friends and family. The reception is the expensive and stressful part. You are still planning to do that. The ceremony is not much money. If you're having the party anyway, why not get married at the same time and have a small wedding? That way your friends and family actually get to witness your marriage.

I think eloping can sound more romantic than it is. In reality, it can be a bit of a let down to say your vows and get married, but have no one there to celebrate with.

I can see both sides. I'm trying to be smart but also not settle, but I would really like to begin my marriage with no debt and still have some happy memories from my day.

I even thought of getting married at an 'engagement party'. FH told me he thought it was a fun idea but I can't imagine ever actually going through with it. I think people would be shocked! Lol

We were going to elope, but we decided the same thing - we wanted our close friends and family there too, and really the cost of the ceremony/marriage commissioner isn't the bank breaker, anyways.

So, we picked a venue where our family and bridal party could spend the whole weekend with us, where we could only have 40 people, where the ceremony could be done on site (inside or outside), and where it would just be FUN and laid back for everyone.

I don't need to do decor, no flowers, no linens or seating plans or any of that stuff. I'm 2 weeks into planning and we've nailed down everything but groomsmen gifts. Now we can focus on the little stuff and not stress over the next 3 months.

It's really up to you. The more I thought about eloping the more it made me feel sad that we wouldn't have anyone (or many) people to share with us and that we'd miss out on that. But we didn't want a big wedding. Or one with a lot of nit picky details to figure out. It's kind of best of both worlds for us this way!

You could do a very small wedding with 30 guests at a nice restaurant ! Way less stressful. You could also just have a MOH and best man instead of a huge bridal party.

These are all really good ideas! I'm definitely going to give it a couple of months and see how we feel about it then!

I have officiated 2 surprise weddings.

The first was a Christmas morning brunch. The close family & friends who were invited suspected there might be an engagement announcement, but were really surprised when I announced they were there to witness a wedding!

The second was a college graduation party for the young woman who arrived in a white wedding gown -- surprising everyone but the groom and me!