Tacky or not tacky??

Three years? No. If you want guests to attend what promises to be an expensive affair, you should wait until at least 10 years (I know some will say five years, but honestly, I probably wouldn't attend a five year vow renewal). Of course, you're free to do exactly as you choose, but if you are trying to replicate the big white wedding with honor attendants, flower girls, ring bearers, emotional processional music, wedding vows, the huge white gown, veil, and flowers...you're probably making a mistake.

A lovely vow renewal typically takes place at a milestone anniversary -- and the tenth anniversary is something many of your invited guests will see as more than just your desire to have the wedding you decided not to have, for whatever reason, in 2013. A beautiful vow renewal can absolutely include a white gown, although the whole wedding thing -- like a chapel length veil and a bunch of attendants does look a little contrived. Sorry.

Wear something beautiful, make it just the two at the ceremony, and host your guests with good food, good drink, and good entertainment.

Do what you want!

You had a wedding it was with the justice of the peace.

Do a five year vow renewal. Gave your cake and dress and call it a day.

I say do it! I don't think it's tacky at all.

I say it again, you do you!

You asked for opinions. You got them.

"You do you"..possibly the most meaningless anthem ever invented.

You do you. She did that at the justice of the peace. Do you get more than one opportunity to you do you?

You HAVE had a wedding. You're married, aren't you?! A wedding is, as I said before, the point in time when you actually get married. The day you do the vows and sign the license, you're married. THAT'S WHAT A WEDDING ACTUALLY IS.

You're not a bride anymore. That's why no bridesmaids. You're not a bride. Showers are for brides. You're not a bride. Parties are for brides. You are not a bride. Tosses are for...say it with me now, BRIDES. YOU ARE NOT A BRIDE ANYMORE!!!

That ship has sailed. It's rude to have a gift grab party. That's obviously what you REALLY want. Vow renewals are not like weddings, they're not gift-giving occasions.

If you want to re-do an ACTUAL wedding, you'll have to get divorced first.

Etiquette dictates the rules. It's rude to behave like a bride when you very obviously aren't one. You chose to get married the way you did. Nobody forced you to. Grow up, accept your choices, and behave like an adult.

I don't see a problem with it. Just no bouquet tosses and stuff. But cake, food, music, flowers, a dress. That's fine. I've been to a couple of vowel renewals and my parents have one every 10 years. It's fun and wedding like. Do what makes y'all happy.

DO WHATEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES. Anyone who truly loves and cares about you will not read into it.

Thanks to those of you who actually debated without getting mad and yelling (all caps is most certainly classified as yelling). Just to clarify: I do NOT want any parties nor do I want showers. I never said that I did. What I do want is my husband and I dressed up nice wether it's a wedding dress or not, and to renew our vows to each other and I want photos. Lots of them. I don't have photos of my parents' wedding nor does he. I simply asked what you guys thought about the dress, cake, flowers, etc. I never said I wanted anyone to give me anything at all. And yes, I have an opinion just like everyone here. Sorry you don't like a bit of debate. I wasn't being nasty but boy, some of you sure we're and shame on you for that. I thought this was a friendly forum. Guess I was very wrong. Again, thank you to those of you that gave me your opinions without being rude. Best of luck to you ALL.

This is what I always think of whenever anyone on here says "shame on you"

Oh brotha. Gag me with a spoon.

Hork.

Nobody was rude until you got self-righteous and snotty. You asked if it was tacky. You were told what parts were and what parts were not tacky. You proceeded to throw a fit because what wasn't tacky didn't match up with what you waaaaaanteeeeed and proceeded to essentially virtually stomp your foot and pout like a 3-year-old.

You are now taking the hurt martyr approach after getting responses that were STILL less snarky than your (actual) rudeness. Then you have the nerve to declare "shame on you!" to us for telling you that your plans do, in fact, contain very rude/tacky aspects, and the reason they are viewed as such is because you are no longer a bride. You seem to have trouble with that concept. Similarly, you seem to have trouble with the concept that you HAVE had a wedding, when you got married, and your insistence that you didn't demeans the thousands of other couples who choose to have a courthouse wedding.

Again, you chose the path you took. You could have waited and gotten married in a big white wedding like the rest of us have chosen to do, but you didn't for whatever reason. I reiterate. It's time to grow up, own your choices, and stop behaving like a spoiled child.

Ya know what, be honest with the guest to some extent, and call it what it is. But do you. If you want the dress and the cake and flowers then, by God do it

Why do new people always pull out the "I thought this was a friendly place but I was wrong" when they ask for advice that they have clearly made their mind up about, get told the opposite of what they want to hear, and tell everyone their opinion is wrong. Are we adults that are planning weddings, or are pre-teens that just got told no for the first time?

You can do what you want, I feel.

I'm in a similar situation. I was married 26 years. I got divorced in February. A year later I am remarrying my ex! I'm just going to have a small family remarriage. I am going to wear a wedding dress, but not have but a 15 minute ceremony. No unity candle, no tearful vows, just fun party at the reception with full meal, drinks, and dancing.

Awww poor Heather. Careful.....your anger is showing.

Stacy didn't say she wanted a wedding. She has been calling it a vow renewal. She didn't mention anywhere about having a bridal shower, bridesmaids, or a bouquet and garter toss. She said she wanted a white dress, a cake, and pictures. Where are you all getting that from? I'm sorry to side with her, but you all should read her posts better. She mentioned a wedding in her OP, but then she said "or vow renewal," which I think she understands that it's a vow renewal.