Sweet 16

My sweet 16 my mom rented a little hall and catered Italian food and a DJ . But one of my friends from school had a bday 3 days apart so we put them together since we have mostly the same friends.

Pre online apps and she did fine and we all had a lot of fun

Well this is a wedding forum so I'd google sweet 16 planning app. Google or App Store. My family doesn't waste money on stuff like that so if that's your cup of tea try google...

I wouldn't bother planning a sweet 16 already that is 4 years away! Alot can change in 4 years, expectations can change, and what your kid likes can change. I would wait a few more years just an opinion.

@meeseeks but i dont think people should judge people because they have the means. i worked for everything i have but i dont judge those with money. she asked about an app and people went crazy. she came back with comments about the car only after people stadted critisizing her choice for a lavish sweet 16. if she has the means great but to judge her for it and becausr sbe has the means says more about the person doing the judging then the one being judged.

good luck op and i hope your daughter apprieciates it.

Lol, I knew girls who had parents like this in high school. They were straight A students alright, but they were snorting coke, sleeping with boys, and guzzling booze like it was going out of style. Just make sure you keep a tracker on your "Princess" during the party, and your booze!

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@Alyssachu Completely agree. All the judgement in here def left a bad taste in my mouth. My bat mitzvah was almost 200 people and was easily planned three years in advance.

@Nas, Nice. How kind to make fun of someone. Sorry if you don't know anyone of different cultures/religions but in many Jewish American "circles", what @Alyssachu described is the norm.

Just Google 'Sweet 16 party' & lurk on WW, if you want. If you continue to comment/post about it on a wedding forum, you are bound to get some side-eyes....just sayin'; hope it helps...

Ooook... I think I need to say something here... as @Miss.M.to.Mrs.K said, a 15th birthday party is an important tradition for Hispanic families and I had one too, it had about 100 guests and as she said, it rivals a wedding (actually the only ones who went to mine that are not coming to my wedding are my deceased grandparents). And since I saw some have pointed out that OP said "sweet 16" and not "15th" or "quinceañera" I wanted to point out as well that I often referred to it as "sweet 16" when talking to some acquaintances from USA just because it has a somewhat similar importance

@Nas, you're right I know nothing about you.

Except you like to laugh at people who do things that you deem "over the top and unnecessary".

The only reason I am saying wait to plan the party is vendors will only book out a year MAYBE two in advance. You can spend time researching what vendors you want but a simple google search will do that.

I will have been engaged for 2 years when I get married and that is pushing too long to plan a party. It is soooo hard to just accept what I have chosen for some things and not change when the latest and greatest comes out. Wait till a year out for any type of party planning.

Oh... and yes... my parents spent a year planning a good night for me (my birthday is in October) because I didn't want that many guests then. And it didn't take a dent of my college fund. They work their a$ses off and wanted to do it for me, and tbh they can do whatever they want with their money... be it a party for one of us or use it to take a 2nd or 3rd honeymoon themselves

Quinceaneras are very important to hispanics. My sisters quince was in march 2017 with 360 guest and they planned it for a year. Usually we start planning when the girls turn 11 or 12.

And they bougjt her a car.

My quince was several years ago and my parents started planning it when I turned 12.

My mom kept a binder to plan the party since there was no app.

I literally do not understand all the *actual* hate from people on here. I don't normally "white knight" or so to say, but OP literally has done NOTHING but ask for planning advice. For some users to insinuate that OP's daughter might turn into a "troublemaker" is so hurtful. In this trying time for our country (those in USA), there's an awful lot of hate in this thread.

Ok y'all are right she didn't say 15 or quince but I think that's just nit picking at a number. I had to explain a 15's several times as a sweet 16 as some celebrate a 16 and others a 15. It's the same concept. As for MTV I hate how They portrayed it and sure some was all about status. I actually know one of the girls on that show lol and yes she had money but she didn't actually get the car and what not it's all show. In my personal experience it was not about status but a celebration of coming of age.

I catered a bar mitzvah once that was nicer than my 30k (first) wedding.

My daughter is 12. On her 12th birthday, I told her she could pick a hand full of friends and we would invite family and throw her a party. I planned it for like 2 weeks. We went to Dave and Busters and had the kids play games, and then we went home and had pizza (MUCH cheaper). I came armed with coupons for game tokens. I told her we could have a few people and have a nicer bash or we could have a ton of people and only do cake. She opted for the cooler part.

She then had a few friends and her cousin spend the night.

For her 16th I might (havent thought that far ahead, I am still coping with her becoming an asshole) throw her a bash, but it isnt going to be insanely expensive. She *might* get a car, who knows. So much can happen before then. They are predicting another economic down turn, so I wouldnt be holding my breath on anything happening in 4 years because change is constant. 18 months to a year? maybe.

If this not a Quinceanera, then how about we just get through her 12th birthday first, okay? All ridiculousness aside, why are you speeding up her aging? And how can you predict that she will keep up good grades in 4 years? Middle school is a lot easier than high school. She hasn't even hit puberty yet.

What a gross thread all around

@Mrs Coakley -I'd have to reread but I'm pretty sure nobody implied her daughter will turn into a troublemaker? People are pointing out that, developmentally, kids turning into teenagers often do a 180 in behavior and attitude, and an 11 year old's behavior is not a good predictor of their behavior at 16.

To plan a huge celebratory party in what OP implied is essentially a reward for her daughter's good grades is VERY short-sighted given that she's only 11 right now! I don't see it as hate so much as people *remembering* what *they* themselves were like at that age and how OP doesn't realize this could end badly in terms of her feeling crushed and hurt if/when after, planning this lavish, expensive party over the next 4 years, her daughter does not, in fact, continue to excel in school and/or show her mom the same respect, courtesy, and gratitude she's presumably demonstrating now.

I think most of us realize that *some* members' on here come from ACTUAL MONEY, but ya'll are certainly in the minority. Like the top 2 percenters minority. Important to remember that some of us grew up in homes with parents living paycheck to paycheck and how some birthdays it was a matter of *IF* (not when) our parents could afford to get us even 1 gift. My fiance's parents were in and out of work over the years with the construction business so there were years where his birthday was literally skipped along with his siblings. Furthermore, the last time he saw a dentist as a minor was at 15, because they often couldn't even afford to get basic dental coverage and take him and his siblings in for cleanings. He was finally able to get a bunch of root canals and fillings done after he got health insurance in his mid 20s through work, though it still cost him a pretty penny of out of pocket expenses. When you come from poverty and you read shit like this it just sounds pretty damn obscene by comparison. It's like when Peeta & Katniss arrive in the Capitol and are in shock at the levels of excess and comforts its citizens enjoy, while their own District is literally full of folks starving.

This post highlights the ultimate class differences in the exorbitant privilege and wealth some kids get to grow up with and that's bound to make some waves.

Lovrofthearts, very true. Except that anyone has a right to post here. So sometimes there may be clashes of lifestyle/monetary norms. Everyone's different. I'm not sure that it gives anyone the right to shame anyone else based on those factors.