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Tiffany
Savvy May 2022

Staying apart on for the night before the wedding?

Tiffany, on July 24, 2021 at 3:55 PM

Posted in Planning 215

Hi everyone! Wondering what everyone is doing the night before the wedding? My fiancé and I have been together 9 years (it will be 10 years before the wedding) and we’re trying to figure out what we should do the night before the wedding! Our wedding is semi-destination. It’s about an hour from our...
Hi everyone! Wondering what everyone is doing the night before the wedding? My fiancé and I have been together 9 years (it will be 10 years before the wedding) and we’re trying to figure out what we should do the night before the wedding! Our wedding is semi-destination. It’s about an hour from our house and the rehearsal is taking place within the hotel, the night before, so we will already be there. We want to stay together the night before however I worry that we will regret it and wish we stuck to “tradition.” If we stay apart, this will also double our hotel expense which isn’t a huge deal, but worth noting...


What’s everyone else doing?! Also, if we stay together, he will be leaving the room bright and early and we won’t be seeing each other until our first looks later in the day.
Thanks!

215 Comments

  • Jamie
    Just Said Yes January 2022
    Jamie ·
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    Im staying with my bridesmaids the night before, that way we can all have a fun night together without it being stressful! My fiance and I have been together for 2 years and live together now, (january wedding) I cant image a night without him but having your girls around you makes it easier!

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  • T
    Dedicated October 2021
    Tammy ·
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    We like the idea of being seperate the night before.
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  • C
    Beginner August 2021
    Christie ·
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    We are stay apart.
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  • Jaleesha
    Savvy April 2022
    Jaleesha ·
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    I told my fiancé since we are having a wedding we will be sticking with traditions. We are staying apart the night before. And we aren’t song each other until I walk down the aisle.
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  • N
    Expert June 2021
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    We stayed together the night before. I already knew we would be apart until we saw each other for our ceremony which was 6pm the next day and I didn’t want that much time to go and not see him the night before the wedding. So we stayed together. I stayed up with him as long as I could and we talked about the wedding and then I woke up really early before he woke up and left to go to the house where hair/makeup and getting ready would be. I’m very big on tradition but not the staying apart piece of it. We still had 12 hours of not seeing each other 6am - 6pm that was enough for us.
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  • O
    Savvy August 2021
    o1234 ·
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    I was SO torn on this for a long time. My fiance and I have been together for a similar amount of time, so we didn't really want to stay apart but felt the pressure to from family & friends. I had a talk with one of my bridesmaids who did a destination wedding, and she shared how much she loved her wedding morning getting to eat breakfast with her soon to be hubby & getting a couples massage.

    This really just made me rethink the whole think - we have never really been the traditional type, and I think we will both enjoy our weekend much more if we get to stay together. SO we are staying together, going to get breakfast & coffee together the morning of (hiding in our room so it's just us 2), then going our separate ways to get ready until the first look Smiley smile

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  • Shaunte
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Shaunte ·
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    Apart I want total surprise at the altar
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  • C
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Carolyn ·
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    My fiancé and I are also fairly traditional. We didn’t shack up before the engagement and ring. We’ve been dating for 7 years. We are NOT doing a first look, but we ARE staying together in the hotel the night before. Never thought twice about it. Now that we are living together finally, we sleep together every night so why separate before our big night? I can see how it might appeal to some folks though, but that’s us. I feel like for me it’s a bigger deal to have him not see me before the wedding. I’m wearing a veil that will be down until he lifts it. Wedding is a month from now!! These are the meaningful traditions on my mind. Good luck!
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  • Angela
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Angela ·
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    Hi! My FH and I are believers and recognize that God designed sex to only be between a husband and wife. We've been together about a year and a half now and have never stayed the night or slept with each other. It may seem a little old fashioned to most people and I'm not judging anyone but I encourage you to consider spending the night apart and it will be so worth it!

    Congratulations to you both!

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  • Danielle
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Danielle ·
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    We are trying to be "traditional" with some facets of our wedding, so we are spending the night before our wedding separately.
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  • Allison
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Allison ·
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    We have a hard time sleeping without each other so we are spending the night before at our own Airbnb. I’m also excited to have a quiet moment together in the morning before the whirlwind of the day.
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  • T
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Tanya ·
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    We have been together for 10 years. We are spending the night before the wedding together. Then in the morning he'll leave and get ready and I'll get ready and he'll meet me at the ceremony.
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  • Stephanie
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Stephanie ·
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    My fiance and I haven't spent a night a part since the day we met so it would be too hard to be apart 💕 he'll be leaving early to get ready that day though so the first look will still be a surprise 🥰
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  • R
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Ryan ·
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    Bad luck to see each other on day of wedding . Even leaving early he still invokes the bad luck. Because he'll have to see you as he gets out of bed.


    Apart!!!
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  • D
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Dame ·
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    We're staying togeather, getting ready with our bridal party togeather, and walking down the aisle togeather. The way I see it, a wedding is a symbol of our togeatherness, so I don't much see the point of us being apart. That said, there are literally 0 social expectaions in our traditions and culture yet for lesbian weddings, so we've just been making up what feels best as we go.
    • Reply
  • Oliviaolivv0101
    Just Said Yes February 2016
    Oliviaolivv0101 ·
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    It's never even crossed my mind to spend the night apart.

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  • G
    Beginner September 2021
    Gabrielle ·
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    We have a destination wedding and my FH will be staying in another room the night before. My MOH is staying with me in our suite so we can get ready together. We knew it would be tough for us to wake up and get the day started if we were together.
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  • Ariana
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Ariana ·
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    I thought this was an interesting question! Lol
    Me and my fiancé are actually LEGALLY married (through the court) so we pretty much partially live together.

    I say partially, because I still live with my mom, but we both agreed that I’d move in with him until after the wedding ceremony.
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  • J
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Jocelyn ·
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    That's exactly what we plan to do! I'll take it as a sign that I'm on the right track! 😊
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  • Kayla
    Savvy September 2022
    Kayla ·
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    We're staying apart, but I don't want to stay home because I don't have to lol so we are both going to get a room and then probably give his room to my bridemaid if she wants to stay with her husband and he will move into my room for the night.
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