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Tiffany
Savvy May 2022

Staying apart on for the night before the wedding?

Tiffany, on July 24, 2021 at 3:55 PM

Posted in Planning 215

Hi everyone! Wondering what everyone is doing the night before the wedding? My fiancé and I have been together 9 years (it will be 10 years before the wedding) and we’re trying to figure out what we should do the night before the wedding! Our wedding is semi-destination. It’s about an hour from our...
Hi everyone! Wondering what everyone is doing the night before the wedding? My fiancé and I have been together 9 years (it will be 10 years before the wedding) and we’re trying to figure out what we should do the night before the wedding! Our wedding is semi-destination. It’s about an hour from our house and the rehearsal is taking place within the hotel, the night before, so we will already be there. We want to stay together the night before however I worry that we will regret it and wish we stuck to “tradition.” If we stay apart, this will also double our hotel expense which isn’t a huge deal, but worth noting...


What’s everyone else doing?! Also, if we stay together, he will be leaving the room bright and early and we won’t be seeing each other until our first looks later in the day.
Thanks!

215 Comments

  • Brianne
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Brianne ·
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    I’m spending the night before my wedding away from my fiancé. I am not doing many “traditional” things. But this is something we are doing 😊
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  • Kyra
    Beginner October 2021
    Kyra ·
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    We are staying together with our children in the suite the night before then having breakfast together and going our separate ways to get ready 😁
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  • Lauren
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Lauren ·
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    My fiance and I are staying separately, but only because my Mom is renting a house nearby. I'm going to stay with my Mom and sisters the night before, and my fiance is staying in the house we're renting (that I'll stay in after the wedding). If this wasn't the case and we were all staying in hotels we'd probably stay together. I think it can be a fun tradition if you want to spend the night before with your family/friends, but there's nothing wrong with staying with your fiance. You'll spend a large majority of the next day apart while you're both getting ready, so you'll still have time by yourself/with your friends & family. I say save some money by staying together and spend what you save on something fun on your honeymoon!

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  • Rebecca
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Rebecca ·
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    We have been together forever about 10 years and living together for 4, getting married in about month. We plan to spend the night a part! One of the main reasons I wanted a wedding (vs an elopement or courthouse wedding) was for some of the traditions that go with a wedding! Building up the anticipation for me to walk to walk down the aisle and him see me for the first time that day is one of the things I’m looking forward to most. Plus I want that time to myself the night before to do whatever prepping I need and want. He is able to stay at his sisters house though so we do not have to factor in costa for 2 rooms. That’s our plan!
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  • Cristina
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Cristina ·
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    We booked a bnb for the wedding night so I’ll be staying there Friday with my sister and he’s staying at a hotel with his parents (so no extra cost for us). I know it might be antiquated but there is something exciting about not seeing them until the ceremony! I’m not doing a first look either.
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  • Samantha
    Beginner September 2022
    Samantha ·
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    My fiancé and I will be staying in the same house until the morning of when him, my dad and brothers will go to a hotel room or what not and get changed there and won’t see each other until the wedding
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  • W
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Wendy ·
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    My fiancé and I are spending the night together because we will be setting up our venue in the morning, BUT he will not see me in any wedding attire until I walk down the aisle!
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  • Chelle
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Chelle ·
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    We are in the exact same boat and have been wondering the same thing! We have had friends that have done it both ways! I’d love to know the outcome of everyone’s opinions!!!!!
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  • L
    Just Said Yes April 2022
    Lindsey ·
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    That’s going to be our plan to! I think we will get up together that morning then part ways for appts and everything
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  • Samantha
    Beginner September 2022
    Samantha ·
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    My moms first marriage they didn’t kiss until they said I do or saw each other the night before and they got divorced but my moms now husband they stayed in the same house until the morning of and kissed each other goodbye and they’re 11 years strong
    • Reply
  • Makenzie
    Beginner October 2022
    Makenzie ·
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    My fiance and I have been together for four (it'll be five by the wedding) years and will have lived together for three years. We decided to stay apart! I was a little sad at first but I'm taking it as opportunity to have a massive slumber party with all of my girls!

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  • Ena Tessy
    Just Said Yes June 2022
    Ena Tessy ·
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    The night before we will be in separate room and won’t see each other til I walk down
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  • Joanelle
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Joanelle ·
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    I'm thinking separate hotels one for bridal party one for groom and groomsmen. Arrive at separate times at the venue and see one each other at our 1st look photos... how exciting...!😍
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  • Cindy
    Just Said Yes November 2021
    Cindy ·
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    We’re spending a few days apart! Not for traditional reasons but I figured it would give us an “I’ve missed you” feel before seeing each other at the ceremony (no first look/first touch for us.) I’ve booked an Airbnb a few minutes from our venue and will be staying there a few nights before our wedding getting last minute details in. He will spend it at his sisters the night before, since her home is close to the venue as well. I’ll be with my mom for those days since she’s helping me with a lot of wedding things.
    • Reply
  • T
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Terrika ·
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    We will be staying apart
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  • Stephpem
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Stephpem ·
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    My fiancé and I haven’t decided yet. However when our friends got married a few years ago I stayed in her room and he stayed in ours (somehow we had 2 beds in our room).
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  • Jason
    Just Said Yes November 2021
    Jason ·
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    I imagine we'll be together - we have been for about 6 years to this point, don't really see much point in separating for a night, but if this ends up being something she has her heart set on and for whatever reason hasn't told me yet, I'll do what she wants on this one. Generally I've actually been the more weddingy of the two of us *gasp a groom that's weddingy* so I doubt it, but she has insisted on a first look later in the day even though I stated a preference not to, so who knows. We've generally both been pretty flexible about stuff through the whole process - after all, the point is less to have one special day, and more to have dozens of special years.

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  • Tiffany
    Savvy May 2022
    Tiffany ·
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    This is fantastic! Thank you for your input! My fiancé is very much a wedding-y groom as well but more with big decisions rather than these small details (even though that's where I need the help the most! haha)

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  • Tiffany
    Savvy May 2022
    Tiffany ·
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    This is the only way I would consider it as well. Crappy jammies and no make up only until its time for the first look.

    I am also hoping the venue lets me come and help set a few things up the morning of, that'll help me feel better about the whole day for sure!

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  • Tiffany
    Savvy May 2022
    Tiffany ·
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    I love the idea of the "i miss you" feeling being built up, this is definitely part of why I'm having such a hard time deciding! we've lived together for 8 years at this point so it just seems normal to stay together but having that longing to see eachother all day would be so nice i think.

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