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Tiffany
Savvy May 2022

Staying apart on for the night before the wedding?

Tiffany, on July 24, 2021 at 3:55 PM

Posted in Planning 215

Hi everyone! Wondering what everyone is doing the night before the wedding? My fiancé and I have been together 9 years (it will be 10 years before the wedding) and we’re trying to figure out what we should do the night before the wedding! Our wedding is semi-destination. It’s about an hour from our...
Hi everyone! Wondering what everyone is doing the night before the wedding? My fiancé and I have been together 9 years (it will be 10 years before the wedding) and we’re trying to figure out what we should do the night before the wedding! Our wedding is semi-destination. It’s about an hour from our house and the rehearsal is taking place within the hotel, the night before, so we will already be there. We want to stay together the night before however I worry that we will regret it and wish we stuck to “tradition.” If we stay apart, this will also double our hotel expense which isn’t a huge deal, but worth noting...


What’s everyone else doing?! Also, if we stay together, he will be leaving the room bright and early and we won’t be seeing each other until our first looks later in the day.
Thanks!
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215 Comments

  • C
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Cal'Vina ·
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    Hello
    We are spending it separate.
    • Reply
  • M
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Marcel ·
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    We are staying in a farm house on the property where we are getting married with some of our friends!

    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Ashley ·
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    Staying apart for the night I’ll sleep at my dads house or my in laws since my mom passed away last May
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Beginner October 2021
    Sarah ·
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    My fiancé and I live together, but I am staying at our place the night of with some of my bridesmaids and our son and flower girl which is one of my bridesmaids daughters. My fiancé is staying at the hotel with his groomsmen. I don’t plan to see him until I walk down the aisle at 3pm 😊 I just like the old school tradition, I also did all of the something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue tradition. Just our preference
    • Reply
  • D
    Donnaly ·
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    That's lovely!

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  • Elizabeth
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    It's too much hassle to try to have everything you need if your not in your own home so we're staying together that night.
    • Reply
  • Jaleesha
    Savvy April 2022
    Jaleesha ·
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    We plan on staying apart the night before. I plan on inviting my girls to my room and having a fun night in. 🥰
    • Reply
  • Kennamer
    Just Said Yes December 2021
    Kennamer ·
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    The origin of this tradition dates back to when arranged marriages were custom. The reasoning behind this was so that if the groom found the bride unattractive, he would not have the opportunity to change his mind.
    I hope this information helps you make a decision.
    • Reply
  • Jill
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Jill ·
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    We will spend our night before the wedding separately. It’s the perfect time to relax and take it all in that tomorrow is your dream come true!!
    • Reply
  • K
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Katie ·
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    I've been with my husband for 9 years at the end of October, and we have a 3 year old/house together, but HE was surprisingly old school about everything. He didn't even want to see my shoes when I got them, which I thought was both adorable and annoying because I was excited about them lol.

    We live in Chicago, but are from New Jersey, so we flew home and had the wedding there. We got married on a Sunday, and I wound up staying at my mom's with my son while he stayed in the hotel we had gotten for the wedding night. I also stayed at my parent's house the Friday beforehand as my friends through me a bachelorette party and it was more convenient to drop me over there...plus they were babysitting my little guy. We also had the rehearsal dinner the night before and afterwards, he came over my parent's house until about midnight anyway. I had to get up for my hair and makeup at 9am, the ceremony started at 330, and I knew we were going to be on different timelines leading up to our walk down the aisle, so I didn't have a problem with it.

    This is what worked for us, but don't forget it's YOUR day and you're the only one who matters. Do what feels right for you. Congratulations!! I hope it's the best day ever!

    • Reply
  • Crowder
    Beginner October 2021
    Crowder ·
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    We will spend the evening before with each other and our wedding party, but my fiancé will stay at home and I will stay in our suite at our venue the night before. We will see each other for our first look at 4:30 the next day. This is honestly just so I could already be checked in the day of our wedding so hair and makeup could be done and MOH and BM had somewhere to get ready as well.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Super August 2022
    Samantha ·
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    My fiancé and I are getting married on our 5 year anniversary and will have lived together for 3 years by our wedding. We're staying in separate rooms the night before, but mostly because the wedding party will be at the same hotel as us and the bridesmaids are all sharing a suite. We're not keeping very many traditions, but this is one I thought would be cute. I don't know how strict we'll be about not seeing each other the entire day of, but we'll see!

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  • PermaGrin
    Devoted June 2022
    PermaGrin ·
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    We are spending the night before the wedding apart - but more for me than traditional reasons.

    FH and I have lived in our home together for 1.5 year and lived together before that as well. We live with my 11 year old son.

    The reason I am doing the night before in the bridal suite with just my girls and me and some movies and girl time is that I've never had one of these nights since becoming a single mom over a decade ago. I want the girlie sleepover experience!

    Also, trying to find a way to say this that doesn't sound bad is tough - but at 11 my son can get his breakfast in the morning ready- he has a great relationship with FH - and will love the quality time with him, our dogs and the groomsmen. I want to feel like a bride that morning and not mom. Really that looks so awful I want to erase it - but I know some people will understand what I mean.

    Now for the ceremony my son will be participating in a sand ceremony and will also be joining us (and our dogs!) on a family vacation versus honeymoon post event.

    Like i said - I am 100% selfishly just wanting the morning to be all about me

    • Reply
  • Shaunte
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Shaunte ·
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    That's not selfish you deserve it I was gone the entire week I had a room and the kids where home with my mom me and my wife needed time to un wind and we got a separate room the night before so we could be with our wedding parties separately the morning of the wedding so don't feel bad moms need time too its not selfish
    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes November 2021
    Casey ·
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    Me and my girls are staying at a bed and breakfast the night before.
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