Stay Classy, Not Trashy

Alrighty then! Do anything you want, rude or not, if it works for you!

I love it.

I say blame it on the church. Tell people that the church doesn't allow alcohol or skank wear and anyone trying to do otherwise will be escorted out.

I love how some of you are calling me rude, yet you've been just as rude towards me in your responses. I asked for thoughts on how to either edit what I had come up with, or stick with it because it was tactful enough. I didn't ask to be given the proverbial "40 lashes." I try my best to be nice and encourage everyone whose threads I post on, even if I don't agree with their stance. Last I checked, that's what the forum rules state. If you can't be tactful yourself in how you respond to questions from total strangers, how in the world do you expect them to be open to your advice? I think some of you need to look in the mirror before passing judgment, because being rude to a stranger is just as frowned upon as being rude to those you know. Just some food for thought...

I agree. WW gets down right nasty at times. sorry for you World of Whimsical.

WoW -- You specifically asked for opinions and now you are super defensive because some people disagree with you.

Just some food for thought

You asked for thoughts. You got them. You don't like them. You call those posters rude because you knew what you were going to do before you asked.

Sounds really familiar.

What you're planning on saying isn't tactful, isn't actually accurate (as someone pointed out, you're not having a black tie affair) and isn't polite.

So why did you ask?

Disagreeing with someone is not the same thing as being rude.

Every single wedding I have ever been to has at least one person who didn't or couldn't accede to the dress code. It's the way it is.

Use the wording that you've selected, it's clear and helpful for anyone who is confused. But turning away guests for not adhering to that dress code is not appropriate, and people will naturally feel it's mean-spirited.

Simply put, don't invite anyone you don't want. If you want them, then accept them, "warts and all," including fashion faux pas and all.

I think if you have to do that than you put it as nicely as you could. Thankfully I don't know anyone who could show up looking as a slob so I don't have to worry about it but if you do I think you're doing the right thing.

I planned a really formal "black&white only" new years party this past new years. It was huge and we had people from different states show up. And these 2 guys in jeans and baggy hoodies were trying to get in. I took one look at them and and asked if they were going to change and they just calmly turned around and left. I felt bad, but I worked hard to make the event happen and when it clearly states black&white, you better follow the rules.

WW hates the thought of security at weddings, I once posted something about wanting security, electronic blockers, and wristbands at our wedding and WW went ape shit. LOL

only you know how to handle your family, do what you gotta do girl and I will say that some of these comments were helpful even for us so you gotta take the good with the bad on here!

Do people really have that little respect for a church that they'd open a beer in the middle of a ceremony...wedding or otherwise?

Celia, please do me a favor and remove yourself from this conversation. You have no clue what I thought when I posted this thread, and to suggest otherwise would make you psychic, which you're not. You also don't have a clue about the formality level of my wedding, so you don't know how accurate or inaccurate my requests are. I've really had enough of your comments, so please refrain from any further thoughts on this or any of my other threads. You will be the reason I restrict vendors from posting on my threads from here on out. Take your mean girl mentality elsewhere.

ALmostMrs.King: I agree that some of the comments were helpful, but like Christina said, there's a difference between disagreeing and being down-right rude. It is what it is, though. I'm a big believer that what goes around comes around, so I will continue to be as nice as I can be to the other brides, and let the rest be sorted out on its own.

Whimsical - I think you have gotten some great (and not so great) advice on the attire situation. I did notice you had mentioned figuring out a nice way about kids. The best way is to spread it by word of mouth about the no kids situation. FH and I did our best to do that but we still decided there would be people who would not hear or understand so we threw etiquette out the window and decided to write it on the extra insert on the invitation. We were prepared to have people not show up because they could not bring kids and thankfully only 2 couples decided not to attend for this reason. Here is the example of what my insert looked like

Laudie, I love the insert. I did something similar on our wedding website. It's not just a venue issue, but also a personal issue. If I'm going to have an open bar, I really don't think it would be an appropriate setting for anyone under 18. Even FH's kids are saying "goodnight" after they eat and have their dance with us. If my future stepchildren aren't going to stay, I'm not making exceptions for someone else.

It really isn't my venue either but I just blamed it on them so that it didn't make me seem like the bad guy lol

You know Amy, I can be pleasant or I can be realistic.

I guess putting your family (albeit distant) on blast on an open forum for being trashy, slobby, or slutty dressing may have rubbed some posters the wrong way. While you don't want people to judge you, you may also take your own advice and try not to judge your family members for their interpretation of etiquette. It will make for a smoother reception/ceremony if they in fact do show up :-)

However I do think you can tell them what to wear in an insert..I for one would want to know if a certain church was super conservative (no shoulders showing etc) so that I wouldn't be embarrassed or have a shawl thrown at me. I think it's being polite to give them a heads up, not dictating their wardrobe. If they aren't permitted in the church due to clothing, that's the church's rules and they would have had fair warning..I really don't see the problem with that.

For once I wasn't getting called out for being rude, yay me!

I already gave my opinion which was in no way mean and should be helpful (seriouly blame it on the church, who the F would disrespect a church-i hope noone).

Wow, you're getting pissy with Celia, who is one of the most helpful, and tactful, posters on this site. If you can't take her responses, you should def stay off The Knot, because those gals would eat you alive.

Celia..the Simon Cowell of Wedding Wire