sorry to ask again...many guests who didn't bring a gift/card?

LOL @Keisha & @TS - I have a cousin who showed up at my brother's birthday party WITH TUPPERWARE. Gifts weren't expected, because this was his 40th birthday party, but really dude? How presumptuous lol.

@Gymrat the same cousin got $100 Trinidad and Tobago dollars. I was like you should have just given nothing. And they also took food home!

I have heard about thefts of cards at some venues by staff or guests at the venue if it is a hotel wedding. At a wedding I was in, they provided a locked box for the cards. I might be concerned that this might have occurred in your case.

I think it also depends on the relationship where friends are concerned. My friends are like family and will call me and say "do you want to come over for dinner? You bring dinner I'll make cocktails" LOL! That kind of stuff doesn't bother me. Especially since I see these people 2-3 times a week. It's not like a formal dinner party.

We got married last weekend and still have packages and cards arriving through the mail. Some people forget to bring it to the wedding, or it's too large/cumbersome to travel with.

@Vanessa We are not planning to send a thank-you note to the one couple and one single person who didn't give a gift, but I think DH is planning to send thank-you notes to the people who sang in the choir during the ceremony but didn't give a gift -- singing was their gift, I guess. OP -- Now that I'm re-reading your posting, 40/70 sounds really low! If I leave the singers out of my count, only two guests/couples out of 90-ish didn't give anything. I'm sorry that this happened to you!

@soontobeRTR, thank you! I'm glad it wasn't just me that felt that way

@Ellsy62, I didn't initially think that it could've gotten stolen... but since everyone is saying that it's pretty weird, I may look into that

Maybe you will still receive some in the mail. They may still be in the shipping process. Double check your registries and see what has been fulfilled but not received yet.

We bought a floor steam cleaner thing off a registry last year for FH's friend. We never received a thank you card so we are wondering if it was stolen or didn't say who it's from when they received it but FH doesn't want to ask.

I just wanted to edit my comment and I hide it by mistake. I questioned maybe they got stolen? Then I saw other people asked the same question.

Idk how you can look into because you can't really ask people if they gave a gift but Mayne some gave a check and will reach out to you when it's not cashed.

Wow that seems low so I understand your curiosity. I've never imagined not bringing a gift to a wedding...it's a celebration and it's a nice way to congratulate the couple and wish them luck!

Wow Im sorry to hear this no one expects a gift nor wants to be "gift grabby" but after throwing a thousands of dollar party with free booze, food, and entertainment, the least a guest can do is show up with a card regardless of the monetary value. This is where the term "its the thought that counts" comes into play. My good friend was very hurt by this last year and I still think she holds it against them. But it is what it is. At least she is married, and they just became home owners too. Next a baby! Yay for happy friends.

But Honestly, I think you got such few gifts bc your guest list was predominately ppl. in their 20's. Generally, Ppl. In their 20's are usually not financially stable probably still in college, work part-time, living with mommy & daddy, and/or paying student loans. Further, they literally just became adults a few years ago which means its either their 1st wedding or one of the 1st. They are still use to mommy & daddy buying the gift. So they probably dont even realize the blood, sweat, tears, and money that go into planning a wedding. They will learn once they plan their own. For those that are already married perhaps they didn't have a "big" wedding and therefore lack wedding etiquette. And yes etiquette states a guest can send a gift within a year. But its really like "First 48" hours of a person missing if you don't get it soon thereafter the wedding don't expect it. It ain't coming. I would say be happy you issue wasn't "no shows" those are the worst.

I could not believe that some of my guests came to our wedding without even a card! I was shocked. Especially because we paid for their hotel room for the night of the wedding and they even requested their son have the adult buffet meal and he was 8.

So basically 8 out of 41 guests did not bring a gift or a congratulatory card. Appalling to me. At least a card wishing the couple well.

I think that is a very low number as I've always known to give a gift. But I do know that my FH had never been to a wedding before he met me and it never crossed his mind to get a gift when we started going to them together. The same goes for some of my male friends that are single. So many times I've ridden with a friend to a wedding and they get the "oops... I messed up" look when they see me carrying a gift and they have none.

Maybe your guests are like the men in my life? Lol

My stats are very similar to yours, majority of the guests were local and I also did not have a shower. Gift/card table was monitored by the coordinator's assistant. We've run into a few guests since the wedding who've apologized for not gifting and promise to give us something soon. I tell them not to worry and that we were grateful for their presence.

I thought it was low but didn't dwell on it. Haven't been to a lot of weddings so not sure what the norm is for this area. I've always given a gift for the few I've gone to though.

ETA: corrected grammar

We have more than half of our guests traveling from out of town for our wedding so we're not expecting gifts from any of them. We're not expecting alot from the other in town guests also but we will still have a gift card box on a gift table in case any one does bring something. Even if it's just a card with no money, that's fine. Would we prefer a gift and/or cash, yes. Because throwing a wedding and reception isn't cheap but if we don't get anything afterwards, I married my best friend and will be on a kick ass honeymoon afterwards. Life is too short to focus on the gifts but I would be a little perturbed if tgat many people didn't send at least a congrats card.

I was raised to give a gift at the shower and the wedding... FH was like whatttttt? we give that much for a wedding? My mom always says "pay what your plate would cost" but I can't ever afford that so I usually throw in $100 from FH and myself and call it a day. We are both in our 20's and struggling a little (parents are paying for our wedding), and we always give gifts! I suppose it is just how you are raised or if you never went to a wedding without your parents! I am so sorry this happened to you and H.... I would definitely side eye them for the rest of my life lol

TBH - If I'm not invited to the shower then I'll bring cash to the wedding. I know, it's likely against WW etiquette, but I give at one event and not both if I am invited to both. Also, I'm not conducting a google search for a couple's registry. Cash is much easier.

I went to a wedding this summer and they had no registry. I thought that might mean they didn't want gifts. I did give cash though bc i couldn't imagine not giving a gift. But yes, it was confusing.

This really surprises me! I always give a gift! Even if I give a bridal shower gift. Hmm.