sorry to ask again...many guests who didn't bring a gift/card?

If they got one for the bridal shower, they don't always bring one to the wedding. That's how it's worked at ones I've been to anyway.

That does seem low. Did you have a shower? Sometimes people consider the shower gift as an early wedding gift.

We always take a gift to weddings. So I think your experience might be out of the norm.

For us, I think we only had like 2 guests that didn't bring anything.

We have not had any showers...

Have you received any I'm the mail? Some mail them. I mean it does seem a little odd. Is there more to this? Some will also kind of go in on a gift together too. But still.

I've only heard of people not bringing gifts if they have already given one at a shower.

I tend to give at the shower and the wedding both, but I realize not everyone does this.

What kind of registry did you have?

Almost all guests were in town guests. Some guests I even gave them gifts at their weddings too, haha. We aren't mad, just surprised

We did not have many at all at the actual wedding...However lots of our guests gave gifts at showers, mailed gifts or cards pre wedding..and we are still getting some every few days post wedding...but maybe 20 guests/families that haven't done anything yet. I too, certainly do not expect it-as traveling to our wedding to celebrate us is gift enough...but I found that some of our most generous gifts happened to also be from guests who traveled the farthest which surprised me.

And is that just gifts brought to your wedding? Or does that include things shipped to your home?

Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, and Amazon. Thought those would cover most age groups and variety

I did receive a few gifts after the wedding, from friends who are in their 20s that didn't give a card but they bought small things off the registry and had it shipped to my house. I definitely think that is a decent chunk to not bring gifts though...was your wedding very casual? Not that it would matter but maybe your friends got the impression no gifts based on the formality of the event.

Including ALL gifts that were mailed to my home before the wedding and all the cards and gifts we got at the wedding

Did you have families with adult kids invited? A lot of times the parents will give one gift from the whole family and the adult kids may not give anything.

It's pretty unusual for people just to give a gift and I don't think your experience is the norm

Since brieliz asked, it was actually a pretty formal wedding and the venue was a well known high end venue also in the area (if that matters)

Hmm very strange. Can you give us some more information on the wedding? Who paid...was it formal...did you have a cash bar or break any major etiquette rules that offended people?

We actually had a ton of guests not give gifts and were really surprised by it. I've always sent a gift even if I don't attend a wedding, but apparently not everyone does that! Only 50% of our total guests gave us gifts. A lot of the non-gifters are friends, but also a bunch of adult children of family friends who probably thought their parents would send a gift from everyone.

We recently did an informal internal WW survey on this though and I was a huge outlier! Internally the average was 88% of guests gave gifts. I still think there might have been a bunch of cards that got thrown out in the craziness!

ETA: One of my bridesmaids got married in Nov and awkwardly asked me about this as well. She said about 30% of their guests didn't give a gift

CaboRide2018, right! I counted the couple/family as 1 unit so we had roughly 70 units from 150 ish guests

I would be surprised by that too, honestly. Of course gifts are always, always optional, but I was raised with the rule that you never show up empty handed, particularly to an event where gifts are typically given. Even if it is just a heartfelt card, it is *something* to show that you care and you are recognizing an important moment in these people's lives.

I would never not bring a gift to a wedding and I actually believe it's rude not to at least give a card congratulating the couple if you really are strapped for cash.

That seems very low so if you properly hosted, that's really unusual and a shame your guests did that. Do you or fh give gifts yourself when appropriate? I say that only because if you didn't give gifts for birthdays, weddings etc they might have felt like they didn't need to do anything in return