sorry to ask again...many guests who didn't bring a gift/card?

I have never gone to a wedding without a gift, regardless of how well off I think the couple is. I give at the shower, if invited, and the wedding

Lyla, actually my mother in law got remarried a few years ago and she got a lot of her cards stolen from her at her wedding! so she was keeping on eye on the gifts like a hawk for our wedding haha!

I agree that it is odd. I would say that we had over 90% give gifts/cards, and the ones who didn't were older children who probably included them selves in their parent's gift. We even had a lot of people who had shipped a gift prior to the wedding bring a card and put it in the box at the wedding itself. All of these people also came to my shower and brought gifts to that. I will say that we are a very large Italian family and I am the 9th wedding in four years, so everyone knows the rules by now lol.

I do know that a lot of my husband's friend's wives/girlfriends did the gift buying because they messaged me asking for the registry info. If it was left up to the boys I'm not sure something would have been sent. So maybe it was the age?

Maybe some cards were stolen?

That's odd, I would never even go to someone's home without bringing a gift. Did you have a DW? Some people (not me) believe that if guests have to pay for flight/hotel for a wedding, a gift is not required.

I don't think any were stolen since my MIL was watching the gift table like a hawk haha. It was an in town wedding where we both grew up and lived in and most guests are from the area as well

Are you and FH "well off"? Maybe some guests think like @Kathy that since you followed etiquette by saying you didn't need or expect gifts, and you and FH are successful, that it was truly OK not to bring anything?

@Kathy, most of my friends fit into that category as well. But weddings are expensive, and it is an honor to be invited to share that special time with a couple you know. I wouldn't dream of showing up empty handed. Even if they said they expect nothing.

If they bought you a gift for the shower they might have just assumed that was enough. Don't worry about it. You got what you got.

I have never brought a gift to a wedding. I always send a gift to their home before the wedding. I don't want the couples' family to be in charge of dealing with my gift at the end of the night.

I could not even tell you how many people did or did not bring gifts to our wedding. We sent thank you notes as we received gifts so I did not track every single gift on a master list. We were happy that those who could make it were there to celebrate with us. That was gift enough.

Wow I think that's rude af. It's not gift grabby on your part but lack of etiquette on their part. Unbelievable!!

I've never heard of anyone not bringing a gift either =/ I would never go to a wedding empty handed. When I went to my FH's brother's wedding my FH said we could just give them money so I said okay I'll get $50 and he said we could just split that and say it was from both of us and I was like um no...I'm going to give them what I'd give them if I'd been invited as just one instead of my FH's plus one. I know how expensive a wedding is and I wanted to give them a good amount.

@CuteNickname, I don't think our friends necessarily view us as super well off... but maybe because the wedding was at a nicer venue they may have thought that? But I totally agree with exactly the way you put it! I couldn't show up empty handed at someone else's wedding

@Erin Wood, We didn't have any showers. We are happy with what we got. Just wondering if this was normal is all.

@Mrs. Knolle, I am the exact opposite, I keep track of everything so I can make sure I sent the thank you note to everyone who gave us something. Otherwise I would forget or lose the cards

I thought the etiquette was that you have up to a year after a wedding to give the couple a gift? I always take care of sending a gift before the wedding, because I'm forgetful and I'm afraid I won't remember to do it after. But I wonder how many guests might be thinking, "oh, we have a whole year to give a gift?"

@Runawaybride, hahah i'm thinking about how confused my husband and I will be when random gifts show up at our door six months from now.."when did we order a new toaster...?" hahaha

I would never think of attending a wedding without a gift. Even if I attend the bridal shower, I still take a card with cash or gift card to the actual wedding.

This does not seem like the norm at all. I would be surprised too. We had a couple of people who didn't bring gifts, but 95% did.

We too were surprised by the number of people who didn't bring gifts, almost all of whom were my husband's friends. Only one couple on my side didn't give anything, but a pretty decent number of his did not bring or send anything. One possible reason was that some of his friends sang in a small choir during the ceremony so some of them probably thought that was their gift. For those who came alone, that is fine, but that shouldn't cover their spouse too, in my opinion. For the two or three non singers who didn't bring gifts, I have no idea. You are not alone. It is very surprising, though.

@sweetapples17

I literally sat down and wrote the thank you notes immediately after opening the box so I would not forget. We wrote the thank you notes for the gifts we received on our wedding day on our honeymoon layover.

I haven't counted who gave us something and who didn't, but I think we did have a few guests who didn't give anything. I think most guests who actually came to the wedding either gave us a card with cash at the wedding, a few gave us a boxed gift at the wedding, and we just opened all the boxes that were shipped to us from our registry last night. I think a couple guests who didn't bring a card or send a separate wedding gift did give me a shower gift. It's really just a couple guests I think may not have even given us a card with their well wishes, and I think they are all young, single men.

I will say this...when my daughter was married in 2008, there were quite a few guests who left nothing, and it just so happens that 99% of them were in the early to mid-twenties. Make of that what you will.