Pros and Cons : Kids at a wedding .....

My granddaughter was tired and cried through the first part. But it didnt bother me. It was a small wedding just a few family and a couple of friends. If it was going to be a big formal wedding I wouldn't take kids.

I think there is a pro - kids are so darn cute (and you can get some super cute pictures.) With that being said, there are WAY more cons. We will be having some kids at our wedding (2 flower girls, 1 ring bearer,as well as a few kids of our wedding party members who are from OOT .)

Nope no kids, for many reasons stated above. That's usually how it is in my family--18 and up and the youngins go somewhere else. I'm from a huge family though, so never any shortage of babysitters.

For those asking about OOT guests, here's what I'm doing. All of FI's fam is coming from OOT and many have kids. We're creating a network of babysitters--trusted people my family has vetted. Then we'll help connect groups at the same hotels or whatever is easiest and cheapest and most comfortable for all involved. Parents get to party and relax, and likely the kids have more fun too!

We're allowing only kids in the family (though my FH called his family and told them not to bring their kids....smh..he's so blunt) and there's not that many of them that are small children so that worked out.

We had children at our wedding, but only 10 of them and 4 of those 10 kids were under 2 years old. We made the decision to include kids since most of our guests had to travel minimum 2 hours to come to our wedding and some had to travel cross-country. These people would not have been able to join us if we had the No Children rule.

But for a lot of the kids, grandparents or family friends took the kids away after dinner and our kids meals only cost around $11-12, compared to the $30-35 for adult meals.

We didn't have any issues with the kids.

But on the other hand, I was at friend's wedding last year and during their first dance, not only was the couple on the dance floor, but about 5-10 little kids were also there dancing. Made it hard for the photographer to get pictures and it's not really a private moment with your new spouse.

@Wendy - That's usually the issue. the parents. They all think their children are super adorbs (of course, not other people's kids, just theirs), so they either don't watch them (thinking their kids won't do anything bad) or encourage whatever the child is doing.

I see no pros to having kids at a wedding.

I'm surprised that it's such an overwhelming majority who think that kids shouldn't belong at weddings. I thought my event had an elegant, but relaxed atmosphere. And kids didn't mess it up at all. Maybe that's because there were less than 5 of them, our of nearly 100 adults. They entertained each other but didn't overwhelm the adults. Plus we were outside and had lawn games that kids and grown-ups enjoyed. Perhaps that won't work if you're going for a specifically formal event.

Kids bring a higher risk for chaos or trouble... but don't immediately write off the sweet moments and adorable aspect also.

Plus little girls will make you feel like an absolute princess!! Perhaps even moreso than your hubby will! During the reception, when I walked out of the lodge this little girl asked me if she could help me by carrying my train down the stairs. How could I say no?!!

I could come up with plenty of cons, but no real pros.

I think of it this way: have you ever been to a little kid's birthday party? The kids love it..lots of junk food, action, childish entertainment, and acitivity. The parents? They're working at keeping the insanity at a reasonable level. If they're not working, they're certainly not entertained by what's going on. I think that's the way children see adult weddings. Boring. Guess what most kids do when they're bored? They make things exciting. Enough said.

My throat tightened when I saw this post because I know the day is fast approaching when I have to make a decisions about kids at our wedding. I am terrified by the things that I am reading because I know it is totally possible to happen at my wedding. My fiance wants kids there because they are family, too. I am afraid some of our close family and friends won't come because they cannot bring their kids. I am afraid of pissing off people because I know they tend to get personal when it comes to their kids.

I am grateful for this post! Thank you!

@ Wendy C. If that first dance issue had happened at my wedding, I would have stopped dancing and told people to come grab their kids off the dance floor or I would remove them myself. I couldn't believe it when I saw it and that no parents stepped in to do anything.

We don't have enough money to feed the kids so the only kids there are those in the BP and those closest to us like nieces and nephews, that's it.

I think this is something very regionally and culturally dependent. My family would disown me if I didn't invite the kids. We also do not usually have alcohol and dancing. I might be one of the first to do so. We also won't have many kids, it's not increasing my costs really, 90% of my guests are coming from out of town and we will have a sitter and separate room with toys on site. I think it's one of those things that can be planned for and is dependent on your traditions and situation. Most kids can't/won't behave for the length of a reception so having a room/sitter on site can help immensely.

Do none of these parents that MUST bring their kids ever have a date night? Do they ever go to the show? Do they have Holiday Parties at work? Do they go to work? I guess I don't understand people who can't come if their children don't come. I do understand the OOT might have a problem, but don't any of these little adorable loving children have grandparents that can watch them for a couple of nights? I think that it's an excuse for parents to say they can't come if they can't bring their kids. They really must not want to attend very badly.

No kids! not at my wedding at least. I guess it depends on the type of event you are having.

@Annie- I'm one of those moms that can't attend if my children can't attend. I have no family to just drop them off whenever I feel like it. We don't have date nights. I get no free time.

I think kids are cute at weddings. My kids are awesome though.

We had 15 kids ranging from 9 months to 12. They were all very well behaved and I wanted them there. However, they were all from my family and my family is one where if a kid is acting up, anyone in the family will step in. But they were all amazing and I loved being with them.

We will have kids at ours because FH and I have alot of family with kids. We also have two kids of our own so i don't mind having others there. We will just talk to the parents and let them know they are more than welcome to bring their kids but they have to keep a good eye on them. Also, we are doing our own food. So cost for food isn't an issue.

FH & I are only inviting 5 children, 2 of which are in the wedding, the other 3 our nieces and nephews & are rather mature for 11, 13 & 14 so we have no worries that they will not behave. We want an adult only reception because our wedding starts at 7 p.m., is open bar, ends after midnight and on FH's side, some of the guests have kids and they have NO HOME TRAINING. Kids are wonderful but I went to an evening wedding before and saw one lift up the brides dress. It was awful. That scared me from wanting them at mine

PRO: We picked a venue that can only hold 140 people. We’ve had the opportunity to invite more people because we are just inviting couples opposed to an entire family of four, five, six, seven, etc.

CON: It pisses people off when they can’t bring their kids.