Pros and Cons : Kids at a wedding .....

I'm in the middle about it only because we have kids in our family so I would feel wrong to not have kids come but they already know that they need to be very respectful

Aside from our two children (who are attendants) and the FG and RB, there will be no children at my wedding.

For starters, I'm having an open bar, and both mine and FH's families are known for being able to throw down. Heck, for that matter, so are FH and myself (lol). We don't want our guests to be so concerned with keeping up with their kids that they can't have a good time. We also don't want the kids to be exposed to those having much of a good time out of respect for them and their parents.

My second issue is cost. I don't have the money to feed everybody's kids for the evening. I'm not the local Second Harvest.

My third (and biggest) issue is behavior. My kiddos walk a chalk line. Their daddy is an Army vet, and I was born and raised an Air Force brat. Our kids are disciplined and very well behaved. I can't say the same for some of my family and friends' children, and even if they are well behaved in normal situations, children are very unpredictable in...Cont.'d

@WorldofWhimsical: Those are some of my concerns as well. We were only going to invite wedding party kids, but my FBIL has a daughter not in the wedding. So would we allow her to attend even though she isn't in the wedding ?

I wasn't allowing kids at my wedding. Only my baby cousin..However she's 12 and knows better than to do anything bad. Other than her, no child was allowed. They cry, they throw up,they're loud, they throw tantrums.. And kids under a certain age, well there isn't really anything you can do to keep those things from happening. When we renew our vows, the only children allowed is my baby cousin who will be around 15 by then, and my son. Who will be around 3. But he's my son..which makes things different. Good luck!

Cont.'d... semi-formal and formal situations, and I wish to not have my night ruined because some little brat with no home training decides to throw a temper tantrum.

The bottom line is this--unless you can provide a kid-friendly atmosphere for kids from start to finish, they need to stay at home. Weddings are simply not suited for kids, and for that matter, not suited for some teens either in this day and age.

@FutureMrsStrahan: Is it an issue where he is throwing a fit because his child won't be able to be there, or is it you and FH wanting to make an exception because it's your niece? Either way, if you make a rule, you should really stick to it. If not, you're going to have guests (both family and non) that cry foul and it may cause some drama.

There will be at least 50 kids at my wedding. My FH and I are both from large families. We wouldn't do this without the kids. They are part of each family. More than 2 people are coming together on our wedding day - 2 families are coming together. We wouldn't have it any other way.

Any kid can be unpredictable. We have a lot of people who see these kids all the time. We are the "It takes a village to raise a child" type of people. Everyone expects that if their kid is out of line, having trouble etc, someone is watching. Actually, a lot of someones.

IMO... there aren't any pros.

I have been to several wedding with children as guests. Here are my experiences:

Cake table was knocked over at 2 of the weddings

Dessert table was collapsed when a child decided to stand on it

2 waiters lost their balance and spilled wine all over the bride's dress

DJ's equipment was ruined when a child spilled his punch on the speaker

Children were screaming (for no reason) throughout the reception and ceremony

4 young boys (about 9 - 11) decided to try to start a food fight

Handle on ice cream dispenser broken (child climbed on chair and used his weight)

Agree with Diane. There are no pros, and for these reasons, and many more, we are having an Adult Only Reception

I've never been to a wedding that didn't allow children; and most people I know wouldn't have one - but there's always been child care available, too. I've also never seen anything such as what ForeverMyLove described...that's terrible! If I'd had those experiences, though, you can guaran-damn-tee there would be no kids anywhere!

But, pros? The atmosphere, IMO. Maybe we're just big family people, but kids are always the life of the party, yeah there's dancing, etc. but mostly bonding, chit chatting and playing with the kiddos outside.

@WorldofWhimsical: It's not a issue, but my FH said that wouldn't be fair.Maybe we could find something for the other niece to do, so it's no hurt feelings.

Well, there's no rule that you can't have a Junior Bridesmaid or an extra flower girl.

Good idea I didn't even think about that , she is 13 .

NO kids at my wedding!!!! We don't have any but all of our friends do. Right now I have no patience to have little kids running around the reception. No way.

We have about 800 bagillion kids in both of our families. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but there are too many for our venue to hold and catering costs would skyrocket. Most of the kids in my family eat like linebackers.

As far as their behavior, children vary (adults do too for this matter). I hardly moved or made a sound as a child. FH on the other hand was a complete spaz. If there are children you'd like present, maybe consider giving them responsibilities to keep them somewhat occupied. Three of my little cousins (all under the age of 13) will be hostesses, with their mothers supervising. They will pass out programs, make sure guests sign the book (well, tree in our case), etc. For really young children, you can tell them their job is to sit in a special seat and wave at everyone. Not very glamorous, but I'm sure it'll make them feel important. Providing activity books or games during the reception may also help prevent outbursts.

I would hope that parents know whether or not their children can handle a wedding and would make other arrangements if needed.

This was a no-brainer to me. We decided on no kids.

Our wedding was awesome and having no kids was part of the reason.

a) no worrying about crying babies during the celebration

b) our friends with babies let loose like they havent since before the kids- and all thanked us for letting this happen

c) less money if you have to pay per kid

d) less decisions on how to entertain a kid if you are having a lot

e) just so much easier lol

I'm sorry, as long as the wedding isn't destination, there is no reason a person shouldnt be able to find a sitter. I mean there are professional companies that specialize in babysitting. And it is for a few hours. Those who say they won't go without their kids need to cut the cord for a night. Just my honest opinion.

Talk to your guests. We discussed it with all of our guests with kids and they were all fine except one who was traveling across country. They couldnt leave their kid for a long weekend, so they brought him and got a sitter here.

Without reading other responses...I HATE HATE HATE kids an events.

I did not have children and my wedding and my daughter (the date in my profile) did not either (other than my ex's son who helped walk her down the aisle and danced on dance with her, then he went off to his parents suite to watch Toy Story, which was far more fun!

No pros to it. It's an adult thing.

I wouldn't mind if kids were at the wedding, but truthfully, I can't afford them. That would add $798 to our tab, they probably would eat very little and drink some pop (if their parents let them have it). Seems like a waste of money. I've contemplated hiring a babysitter so if anyone unexpectedly shows up with their children, I will send them with the sitter.