Plus one

How many people are you inviting?

UO I think this is okay as long as you are willing to make exceptions. I always said my wedding is not a grab a date event. Our line was the relationship had to have been at least started when our save the dates were sent (4 months before the official invitations). That being said we made exceptions for folks who wouldn't no any one and for siblings (although neither ended up using them). Yes you don't get to define someone's relationship but to insist you cut someone else from the guest list just in case Susie or Jack start dating in the mean time seems ruder to the person who was cut than to the person who can't bring their new boyfriend/girlfriend from the last month or two. Heck FH and I didn't even refer to each other as bf/gf until 2 months in.

The etiquette books I have seen say that spouses and fiancés of guests must be invited, some would extend to long term or live in partners. U/O, but I do not see a NEED to invited anyone someone is dating. I get it, most people on this board are engaged and in love, but I see no need to extend the rule of inviting spouses and finance.

I would build in room in case someone gets engaged, and would be concerned if a guest will not know anyone there, or if they are traveling.

You, and several others on here, are using the term, plus one, incorrectly. A significant other is not a plus one. It also doesn't matter if you were invited to a wedding without your so and weren't offended or that you didn't consider yourself serious with your so until whatever set time. How you feel doesn't decide how others will feel. You should be inviting everyone's significant other and then THEY can decide if they want to attend or not

This is a tough one because you're still 6 months out so someone who started dating a month ago could be in a pretty serious relationship by then. However I think it also depends on how close your family is. I have a huge family on both sides (my dad's one of 9 and my mom's one of 6) but we are very close. Because of this everyone knows guest lists are huge and no one would be upset to not bring someone they've been dating for a few months because it's more about spending time with family for us. I would never cut my cousins off the guest list if I couldn't give them plus ones and they would be incredibly hurt if I did that. However, if someone truly wanted to bring their significant other who didn't get an invite they would probably just ask, it's just how our family is. I know there are a lot of ettiquette rules on this but I think in this case it depends a bit more on family dynamics.

In my opinion, if they aren't living together, don't have children together, aren't married, or you don't know their name then it's fine. If it's your cousin who you see every week along with her SO who you know by name then invite them, but if it's your single cousin who has a new BF every few months I wouldn't worry. ALTHOUGH, I would say consider if they are coming with family/friends. If they are coming with a group then I don't think it's a big deal, but if they're expected to come by themselves and don't really know anyone well then they should be given a plus one. Age is a big factor too, your 40 year old aunt should probably be given a plus one, 18 year old cousin coming with their parents, ehhh probably not.

You don't get to dictate anyone's relationship or if they bring a guest based on your pre-conceived guidelines. It's fucking rude.

People who are married are invited as a social unit, meaning both spouses on the invite by name. People in a relationship get a plus one, unless they're in a long term relationship, which means they'll also get invited as a social unit.

Either way, leave the door open for someone to bring a guest of some sort. If your guest list cannot accommodate that and you want to keep it small, then only give plus ones to married people and leave it at that, or reduce your list. You'll piss someone off, anyway.

The phrase "no ring, no bring" exists for a reason. I don't think it's rude nor do I plan on extending plus ones to all single people we are inviting. Our rule is that we don't want to be meeting people at our wedding. If a SO is important to our friends/relatives we should have met them, and if we haven't, we will assume it's not a serious relationship so no plus one! That being said, keep in mind that you also don't want to leave any of your guests not knowing anyone but your cousins should be fine since Im assuming they'll know other relatives there. You can also brainstorm this question with close family who have gotten married to get a better sense of the precedent and expectations that may have already been set.

No "ring no bring" is just so fucking arrogant and smug. We had unmarried couples on our list that have been together longer than we have. Since we're not complete assholes, we never even considered a ring as a guideline for inviting someone.

You're not being rude at all!

Oh god "no ring no bring" seriously? What a crock of shit. Clearly you can't afford to host the guest list that you sent STDs to, so you need to cut elsewhere to invite the other half of your cousins social unit. Because that's what people in a relationship are.. a social unit. Their dates are not "plus ones".

I was strict with my family especially since I didn't want kids. I basically said if you aren't in a relationship by the time save the dates went out then you are flying solo, It actually made it easier to not only stay within budget and guest count, but they knew the rule enough in advance that they could just tell someone they were dating that hey it was decided before the relationship started. Plus I personally didn't want another one of my cousins weirdo girlfriends that I didn't know at something as special as my wedding

I totally get that you dont get to judge someone elses relationship seriousness i.e. they have only been dating two months so they dont get invited. However, I do see exceptions to this. FH has ALOT of cousins. Half of them I cannot keep up with their changing relationship statuses,one day living with someone next day broken up. They are going to know EVERYONE at the wedding and will have plenty of people to hang out. So, those that are in relationships now, I included their SO in the STD's and accounted for them in the guest list. No plus ones for the truly single ones. Between now and the wedding, if any of those that are single get into relationships, we will re-evaluate but likely will not extend invites to SO's that we have not met.

ETA: I dont buy the BS idea that you have to cut your guest list so that you can 'properly host' cousin susies flavor of the month.

@Alicia take my advice and never say that to a friend who desperately wants to come to your wedding but isn't engaged to their long time partner. If someone said that to me before I got engaged after my five year relationship with FH, I would have shut that shit down and stopped being friends with that shallow person.

@brde2be then you don't want to properly host.

If you have 200 people on your guest list and you are refusing to invite anyone's significant others, you're not properly hosting.

Ummmm H and I were engaged five months after we were dating. If one of us was invited to a wedding and not the other, we absolutely would not have attended and discussed how thoughtless the couple was. Your cousin, if she or he is like me, could be engaged and planning a wedding next April. You *should* wait on invites and if they are still dating, extend it with a plus one. It’s 100% rude not to. I agree with Sarah M you don’t know what will happen. I agree with mrs coakley if they’re dating when invites go out, you invite both. H’s best friends invited us to a wedding in august. They had never met me and we had been together for 10 months. With some of PP’s logic, I shouldn’t have been invited because I hadn’t met them personally and we hadn’t hit the year mark so obviously it wasn’t “serious.” but they still invited me because it would be fucking rude not to. And they were the sweetest people with the best hosting.

I think all adults should be given a plus one regardless of their relationship status. It's polite. I was invited without my FH (who was my boyfriend at the time) to 2 different weddings that the bride and groom didn't really know him and had a rule of "no ring no bring" for plus ones. I was insulted to be honest. In BOTH cases we were actually together in a relationship for longer than the bride and groom were! We were just not married or engaged yet.

@KatieBMY If hosting a reception with great food, drinks and dancing for my closest family and friends but not inviting my 18 year old cousins 3rd boyfriend this year makes me a bad host, then color me a bad host.

That's what we did

"No bring, no ring" is the rudest and most disrespectful thing I've ever heard in regards to inviting guests. Who are you to say someone has to be married or engaged for their relationship to be valid in your eyes. So with that rule, my aunt and uncle who were together for 15 years but never married would not be able to attend my wedding. You know some people don't believe in marriage but still have deep and meaningful relationships, right?